The many uses of our wonderful and vibrant language

Oh english, you lingua franca of international business, science, technology, aviation. and new and interesting sexual practices! Is there any neologism we can’t create to fulfill our need to express the inexpressible? While Teabagger has taken the early lead for Most Awesomest Word of the Year, we have a dark horse entrant

ReFounder

As in, (in response to calling teabaggers “ignorant bullying blowhards“):

Those “ignorant bullying blowhards” are the same people who Founded this country. If you read Madison’s notes on the Constitution as well as the debates on Independence, the Revolutionaries didn’t get along or like each other a lot either. But they still founded this country to the values that made as the Greatest Nation the world has ever seen..as these ReFounders will do again.

It’s a noun! As in :

I, a ReFounder, will refind and reestablish the principles that, I have on good authority from some guy I saw on TV, can be found in the Constitution and which, once they have been refounded-ed, will save America from that black Kenyan guy. Amen.

Who could have predicted that the Teabaggers would start going Lord of the Flies on each other:

After emerging out of nowhere over the summer as a seemingly potent and growing political force, the tea party movement has become so rife with internal feuding over philosophy, strategy and money that some supporters fear it will disintegrate before realizing its full potential.

[...]

Disagreements over those issues have spawned personal and institutional rivalries, at least one highly contentious lawsuit and — perhaps most significantly — resulted in the splintering of local, regional and national groups into a patchwork of hundreds of smaller groups that occasionally seem to be working at cross-purposes.

[...]

In Myrtle Beach, S.C., disputes within the local tea party about how much to engage in partisan politics and whether board members were profiting from contracts to print paraphernalia emblazoned with the group’s logo prompted the treasurer to resign and join with defectors from a North Carolina “We the People” group to form a new organization.

“There’s a lot of fighting, and everyone wants to be in charge, and that’s why you have so many splinter groups,” said the ex-treasurer Janet Spencer, who charged her adversaries within the tea party with saying “derogatory things about me that were very unprofessional.”

She said her new group, called Patriotic Voices of America/Carolina Patriots, counts about 100 members and will not coordinate with the Myrtle Beach Tea Party, whose treasurer, David Ognek, said the friction is “just group dynamics.”

In Texas, a handful of thriving tea party groups severed their ties from the national Tea Party Patriots group after it ousted, then sued a founding board member who had affiliated with a rival group called the Tea Party Express.

[...]

In Northern Colorado, meanwhile, a handful of active 9/12 groups — named for the Glenn Beck-encouraged effort to stage the Sept. 12 Washington march — are unhappy with the state 9/12 group’s aversion to fundraising and with its focus on national issues and have discussed forming their own rival statewide group.

I would suggest Patriotic Wolverines of the American Jesus Eagles of Death Metal Liberation Front.

Or Shouty Stupid People because that would be cheaper to embroider on hats and fanny packs.

Senator Tom Coburn, the Scourge of Middle School Bathroom Lesbians, does not much like this health care bill that Democrats are FORCING DOWN AMERICA’S THROAT LIKE AN GINORMOUS RUBBERY STRAP-ON so he wants some of the guys who make copies and go on Jamba Juice runs to read the whole thing out loud. Possibly in funny voices. And using hand puppets.

The 2,074-page Senate health care bill would take 34 hours to read cover to cover — and that’s just what Sen. Tom Coburn wants done on the Senate floor.

The Oklahoma Republican has threatened to invoke parliamentary rules to force the Senate clerk (or more likely, a team of clerks) to read the massive bill before the full Senate begins formal debate on the legislation.

[...]

What’s even more interesting is that Senate Rule XIV (paragraph 2) states that every bill and joint resolution “shall receive three readings prior to its passage.”

That is, like, almost five whole days (with pee breaks included), which is fine with Tom Coburn since he has a lot of time on his hands these days not having to spend his evenings with John Ensign in the combination Confessional/Totally Kickass Foosball Room located at the C Street Spermatorium , counseling Ensign about how Jesus hates it when you covet your senior aide’s wife and then, you know, sex her up.

William Jacobson, who is a Close But No Cigar Almost Professor at Cornell Law School, thinks this (the out loud reading thing, not the covet/sex thing, although maybe) is a wicked cool idea:

Absolutely this should be done. This absurd legislation deserves the theater of the absurd.

A reading out loud of this monstrosity for a day or two will be a great visual and audio montage.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Reading out loud the hundreds of thousands of words in Harry Reid’s bill will be worth million of votes.

Because the whole thing will be televised on every television channel for five straight days and every TV show that currently fills up the wasted hours our empty American existence will be pre-empted.

Except for Tyra’s show. That bitch will cut you if you fuck with her programing. I’m serious. Really. You best back the fuck up when it comes to Tyra.