GOODLAWDAMERCY.

There’s ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

You gotta admire their sense of security.

I can haz bank account now?

Magic boxers or magic briefs?

Or magic boxer briefs?

Years ago, on a PBS show for young’uns called The Electric Company*, there was a sketch in which a singing telegram had been shortened, so that a young couple were told that a rich uncle had died and left them all of his “M…….” The couple then went through a progression of M- based nouns until they landed, excitedly, on “Money”. Then a truck showed up and dumped a bunch of marshmallows on them.

There’s a lesson in that sketch for the press, if they’re smart enough to figure it out.

*The show featured, among other performers, Morgan Freeman. Anyone who recalled his performance of “Easy Reader” while watching his breakthrough role as vicious pimp Fast Black in Street Smart were, undoubtedly, scarred for life.

…”Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom”…

Uh, Mitt, Christianity came into being during the Roman Empire. Not exactly a bastion of freedom, that. Further, the foundations of much of Western theological thinking were laid in the Middle Ages. That was also the era when personal piety first became widespread. The Middle Ages were notable for many things but freedom, as we think of it, wasn’t one of them.

JFK said “Catholic” nine times in his speech.

So besides omitting the M word, he also a) recites wingnut talking points about freedom needing religion and all, while b) talking about separation of church and state. Two possible interpretations here: 1) he’s trying to appeal to people who support the Establishment Clause as well as those who oppose it; or 2) America needs (his) religion, but separation of church & state forbids criticism of (his) religion.

It bears repeating that Romney was much more than a humble parishioner. As this article from the Christian Science Monitor points out, Romney was a bishop (A lay pastor) at his church in Belmont, Mass., for three years. After that, he spent a further nine years as “stake” president overseeing the activities of nine Massachusetts parishes.

From the article:

But it was his time as bishop that gave him the most contact with everyday churchgoers. He organized weekly church services and ministered to parishioners, offering spiritual guidance on whatever problems they brought to him – financial, marital, physical, anything. He heard confessions of sin and determined who is allowed to enter a Mormon temple, a privilege reserved for those who meet the church’s high standards of personal conduct. He distributed church funds to those in need.

So, no I don’t believe him – again.

How cool would it have been if Jesus really did ride a dinosaur? It would make the 2-hour Palm Sunday mass where everyone has to do the play a lot more fun.

Congrats on the new digs, Tbogg, I like the new look. Keep up the good snark.

Mountain…
meadow…
Massacre!!!
(Ok, actually three words, but like Romney I believe some things can be both three and one.)

Nobody covers the MittBot 2.0 and the Mittlings quite like TBogg… You will be continuing with Thursday Evening Basset Blogging, won’t you? I look forward to it — Satchmo and Beckham are just about the only 2 animals I can think of who make my cats look energetic.

Freedom requires religion? What kind of fuckery is that?

I’m having trouble coming up with something that restricts freedom MORE than religion. Can’t do this, can’t do that, must think this way or the Jeebus will get you. Yeah, that’s free.

And that M word he refuses to utter takes the restrictions beyond where others dare not tread – restrict to the magic undies (yeah, THOSE look comfortable!)

Syndicalist–

If you haven’t yet read Jon Krakauer’s Under The Banner Of Heaven, you’d better.

Great summary of Mormon history, the MMM and a true story of cold-blooded murder in the name of multiple marriage and Moroni.

Throughly researched and thought-provoking stuff.

Comsympinko: just finished it yesterday (well, “finished” it anyway–I haven’t made it all the way through the attack & rebuttal in the appendix). I’m working on a post about Mitt and Mormon history–should be up in the next day or two.

“Yeah, I was in the blogs. I was in the blogs for 21 days once — the snarkiest 21 days of my life. You know, you never handle your own snark in the show, some pup always picks up the bags. It was like — awesome. You hit stupid people with serious snark just for practice, the blog rolls are like butta, the comments sections come with coasters, and the women all have long memories and vicious agendas.”

Motherfuckin’ coasters? Ok, if you insist ….http://youtube.com/watch?v=bOrK0vfgaXY

All I know is, it’s really different, and scary, and disorienting. I know what’s missing … the Funk. Straight up.

If you’re going all preppie-a-list-blogger and shit, ya gots to have some Funk — like dis … http://youtube.com/watch?v=8GP_mPAdQyQ

So muthafuckas, put on your daishiki, pick out that ‘fro, we’re gonna grove tonight! http://youtube.com/watch?v=iknEJf9cPeY

I still gotta ask tho, where all da bitchez at?

Read it a couple of years back when it came out.
But hey, more M words– militias, Moroni, multiple marriages,
making it with minors (Warren Jeffries).

You know all of this focus on whether Mormonism qualifies as truly “christian” is a bunch of hogwash. I grew up in the Catholic church, the unproven claims in the Torah, Koran, Bible, etc etc. are all voodoo to me. Romney and every other candidates spiritual beliefs are personal and no business of mine.

What I am interested in is if they follow the US laws, the constitution and what does their state(Governor Romney) look like. Their records, their actions that is what we have the right to examine.

On behalf of Voudou, that’s a low blow Leen.

Let’s see: We had tapdancing on the order of Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, a variation of the Wookie Defense, and just plain bullshit marshaled up and deployed as fact, all crammed into a few short minutes that seemed like hours.

Did I miss anything?

Jesus Rode A Dinosaur

But He built my hotrod!

I gotta say this is the death-knell for Team Mitt! He’s always been in a box with the GOP … a Mormon – which for most of the GOP base amounts to some kind of whacky Muslim from Utah – and he simply can’t get their votes by appealing to their racist, discriminatory instincts. And that’s the only way to win in the GOP.

Huckabee is fast approaching a lock … call me crazy, but Rudy is imploding cause he’s a New Yorker with corruption problems, Romney is some weird cultist who just went on national TV to draw attention to the fact that he’s some kind of weird damn cultist, McCain doesn’t want to torture people, and Ron Paul is just too damn scary. Huck is in like Finn, kids.

Easy Reader was, without a doubt, the coolest kids’ show dude evah!

Feel the backbeat kids …

“mor” … “mon” … creepy fucking religion

“Rom” … “ney” … creepy fucking Mormon

“mag” … “ic” … underpants

“Mor” … “oni” … Angels we have heard on high, laughing right up at the sky … people think we’re truly dumb, Mormons make me truly numb … ooooohhhhh ooooohhhhh oohh oohhh ohhhh oohhhh … Romney is a toooolllll … coda

Freedom requires religion?

As luv requires magic underwear.

At least NY Times pointed this out:

Mr. Romney’s address today, however, differed significantly from that signal moment in recent history, which historians say was a turning point in the 1960 election. For one thing, Kennedy later took questions hurled at him from the ministers, many of them hostile, while Mr. Romney spoke before a friendly audience whose front row included four of his five sons and his wife, Ann, as well as many people affiliated with the campaign.

NoMRom backwards. NoMittRomney?

Shorter Mitt Romney: “A little hot air makes the magical underwear so cozy.”

Phhhhttt…ahhhh!

Wonder if all of those dead and fleeing Iraqi Christians would agree with ol’ Mitt?

Kennedy stepped out of the shadow of the Vatican — but
not the shadow of his old man’s smuggler associates.

Romney may step out of the shadow of the Mormon Church — but
not his old man’s (”Brainwashed-on-Vietnam”) cluelessness.

Plus, let’s face it, Mormons just aren’t the funkiest group of folks to hang with. I mean, there just isn’t much soul out there, just a bunch of Moronis … so maybe this will help …

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NEscJWErZ0I

Melky Cabrera
Mookie Wilson
Matsuzaka, Daisuke

It’s on the web so it must be true. (say it ain’t so).

Magic Underwear AND SECRET HANDSHAKES? (cursor down).

http://forums.nasioc.com/forum…..p?t=310947

To be fair to the elder Romney, he was talking about “brainwashing on Vietnam” in the context of the dog and pony shows everyone went to. The Pentagon, to Romney, was brainwashing — or peddling pure, uncut bullshit — people to try and show that the battle was being won.

Cocksucker Mitt’s speech however will flop because he was being too ecumenical and not bigoted enough. Seeing how Sunnis and Shiites kill each other over an arcane point of heredity but largely believe the same fantasy, I don’t see how his ode to religious conscience will win over those who believe its only THEY who have the right answers.

It must suck to be a presidential candidate, as you have a team of advisors, make-up artists, pollsters, publicists, agents, speechwriters, around you day and night.

That is, if you are the leading candidates.

Especially if you are on the G.O.P. side.

Poor Mitt, if Mormonism really holds a special part in his heart, he must be dying every day that his PR or publicist yells at him and says ‘Dont mention the M word’

My favorite part is where he pleads for all this religious tolerence after barely catching his breath over declarations that he’d never have a muslim in his cabinet.

But damn, all these gooper candidates. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Syndicalist, did you see that Warren Jeffs was just sentenced a week or two ago? Two consecutive life terms.

Magical Underwear

Good points on Romney the Elder.

But when the guy personalized it with a made-for-headline –
“I was brainwashed” — he lost all credibility as a
serious contender for the ‘68 GOP nom.

One of the great campaign self-immolations of all time.

Romney’s speech boils down to -

1. There most certainly is a religious test for public office.

2. I pass that test. Other people don’t, but we won’t get into that now.

3. Don’t ask me any questions about my religious beliefs – trust me, I do pass the test.

Romney has Big Love for the good old US of A don’t cha know.

Mary McCurnin, does that mean if Romney is elected, he’ll invite other nations to move in as sister-wife countries?

I just saw the speech and I have to say I thought mit did a really good job as far as these republican candidates are concerned he’s probably their only shot

of course WE think the speech is rediculous but mit what I think is the only hope they have unless someone new enters the field

What a Marooni

There’s a “Jesus-rode-a-dinosaur” crowd?

Do they also think that the Sermon on the Mount included the words “Yabba Dabba Do”?

Tom- yeah, I noticed that right away (blogged it too). Amazingly enough none of the not-too-bright talking heads providing “instant analysis” and whatever Pat Buchanan provides mentioned that he forgot the “M” word.

I guess that he (1) forgot he was for a moment while standing in the Chicharrone Palace or (2) got that Other tablet that they had on the South Park epsisode.

One has to wonder why he did not go to Missouri and give the speec in the Garden of Eden. Maybe he was afraid of Adam and Steve.

Tbogg, I thought that I had clicked on Marcy’s site and my first thought when I read the blog, was that Marcy was drinking. Now that you have changed sites can we still look forward to the dog pictures?

Shorter Mitt: “I may be a Mormon, but THOSE PEOPLE OVER THERE ARE ATHEISTS!!! ICK! PTUI! COOTIES!”

Off topic, but is that a little doggy favicon I see in my browser address bar?

Years ago, on a PBS show for young’uns called The Electric Company*, there was a sketch in which a singing telegram had been shortened, so that a young couple were told that a rich uncle had died and left them all of his “M…….” The couple then went through a progression of M- based nouns until they landed, excitedly, on “Money”. Then a truck showed up and dumped a bunch of marshmallows on them.

Another analogy for TBogg’s transfer to the FDLBorgsite!

Now Rayne will show up to tell us lousy dialup typists that marshmallows are not nutritionally sound and that dumptrucks pollute the environment while reinforcing western/male stereotypes of dominance. Bite me, Rayne.

Apart from that, Cautious Man at #38 has the best Shorter: Mitt hopes that the Talibangelicals can be re-directed from throwing rocks at his Mormon temple garments to throwing rocks at all the (”other”) non-Xtians out there. Of course Willard’s real religion is not Mormonism but Mitt-worship, and as the Second Greatest Salesman Ever he’s sure he can talk the rest of us mooks into drinking the kool-aid, whether it’s Repub Red or Moroni Yellow. If only he can shut up the Arkansas Elmer Gantry, that is…

as peace requires war, truth requires falsehood, and so on…
damn, he’s good

Good catch.

Of course Willard’s real religion is not Mormonism but Mitt-worship…

I’d like to see a Romney bio called Under the Banner of Mammon.

Slick sez his duty is to God.

But these goopers are dupes at best.

The real deal is in black market Guns/Oil/Drugs.

The M Word

Mudpie!

Marsupial

More “M” words

mystagogue- one who initiates others into a mystery cult or understands or teaches mystical doctrine (see also “magical underpants”)

mental midget- one who can only think about life in a limited perspective or who cannot think beyond their own little world.

malignorant- afflicted with terminal stupidity

Mitt- see above

P.S. Nice to see you all joined the party!!! And don’t worry about the new carpet, the dogs are gonna mess it up anyway.

And even more “m” words …

Monkey butt

McStupid

Malodorous

Munchkin

Mope-a-dope (what the nuttiest wingnutters have been doing since Chimpy lied his ass off the other day reagrding the NIE)

Movement (bowel) … the normal excretions given forth on a daily basis by the nutters, which masquerade as writing and analysis

Meritorious … what the College Republicans think they are doing by attending a war-supporters rally even though none of those closet Nancy’s would ever dream of signing up to do battle against the dirty sand people.

Muck-a-fuck … well that means whatever the hell you want it to mean.

Well, M words and such are all fine and good, but isn’t it about time for the Chinese dude bravely holding his ipod aloft amidst a sea of little red books? You know, PRE-FRIDAY RANDOM TEN?

I like muck-a-fuck….I’m sure it will come in very handy as the campaign drags on.

malodorous

as in “You toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!”

If you want abuse, consult Python.

merde….

It’s Thursday. Where are the doggies?

Sorry, no dog pix allowed.

Signed,

The Borg.

One request: Can we be flamedogs instead of firepups?

Have we achieved an edgier level of discourse here yet?

Oy, I keep telling you people: this is your place. Call yourselves whatever the fuck you want, or whatever Tbogg can stand.

Now if you don’t mind I have some more unique voices to crush.

Flamedogs works for me!!

Wow. I feel more welcome already.

I’ll take it that you are this evening’s site moderator. I’d forgotten this is supervised recreation.

I feel like tomorrow is gonna suck, then again, another double shift has a tendency to do that.

I feel … I felt … http://youtube.com/watch?v=Eb5…..re=related

Ok, ok, I may not dig the whole FDL thing, but I sure does dig me some of this …

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sgObIx5bihQ

This is where we all start chanting “Attica! Attica! Attica!”.

Finch?

I agree…Under the Banner of Heaven was one of the most frightening books I have read on the effect of religious belief.

I just fell off the turnip truck into this TBogg joint, checking
out his old joint and now here today.

It’s like when I went to my first pro hockey game — hey, this
shit is way faster than them other sports!

TBOGG IS HIS OWN MODERATOR. I WAS COMMENTING.

sheesh.

I think Pach is fitting right into the Tbogg moving crankiness.

As for the Mittster, everyone’s crooning over how good he was, but he was clearly playing to the Republican base. I seriously hope that his religious pandering will be rejected by the electorate-at-large. I’m not sure, but I’m hopeful.

Crank this…

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lWXiWbnQATU

I think we all need to take a deep breath and realize that things here will not be that different.

After an evening of throwing all the good china around and kicking over the furniture, I think the klatscher-types are going to largely steer clear of their crazy drunk uncle’s room.

When someone like Pachacutec shows up, they just seem to want to make sure we haven’t set anything on fire and offer a comment or two.

Why should they care what happens in here?

As they say, it’s Mr. TBogg’s show, and it’s a good one.

They’re bound to want to see teh crazy in action.

I actually only stopped by ever to welcome you fuckers. Not even doing the gay uncle-when-your-parents-are-away visit.

So can an atheist be in the government if Willard should God forbid be elected?

April and Joy are indeed adorable. My personal housemates are Papillons, because the Human Partner insisted on “honorary cats”. When the Labrador lovers get mouthy, I tell them if I were going to live with anything giving off that much effluvia, it better give milk or pull wagons!

Willard only wants the religious…

I really liked my crazy drunk uncle. sigh.

Mitt hopes that the Talibangelicals can be re-directed from throwing rocks at his Mormon temple garments to throwing rocks at all the (”other”) non-Xtians out there.

Too late. “Joementum” beat him to it.