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Having been criticized for being the PowerPoint Robocandidate, Mitt Romney turns on the waterworks for the second day in a row. Sunday on Meet the Punkinhead he went all weepyface:
Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney said on NBC’s “Meet the Press” today that he wept with relief when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Mormon church, announced a 1978 revelation that the priesthood would no longer be denied to persons of African descent.
Romney’s eyes appeared to fill with tears as he discussed the emotional subject during a high-stakes appearance that he handled with no major blunders.
Mitt Romney’s eyes filled with tears Monday as the Republican presidential contender recalled watching the casket of a soldier killed in Iraq return to the United States and imagined if it were one of his five sons.
Except, of course , it wasn’t since his boys aren’t doing any fighting, outside of trying to get to the front of the line to get a deep fried Snickers bar so they’ll have the energy to fight creeping Islamohuckabeeism ….but still it was a nice, if kinda sad, thought.
According to campaign insiders, Romney has plans to grow misty-eyed this Thursday while speaking at the Dixville Humane Society reminiscing about the film Old Yeller. The candidate will pause momentarily and blink back tears when talking about the scene where young Travis (played by Tommy Kirk) had to put down his beloved, but now rabid, companion by strapping him to the top of the family station wagon and then drive at high speeds until, finally, the dog shits himself to death.
There won’t be a dry eye in the house.
Or a clean back window in the parking lot, for that matter…
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Well you do have to admit, that scene in old yeller where the dog shits itself to death is pretty much a tear-jerker.
Poor old yeller.
Multiple Mitt’s a fucking joke.
He also happens to be thuh next presidential candidate for thuh RethugliKKKlans.
They’re going to try and sell his heathen Mormon ass to thuh GOPer base as thuh braindead business candidate a la Georgie Boy.
‘Scept Georgie Boy believed in Jesus. Channeled Jesus. As best a certifiable East Coast Establishment Blue Blood can, anyway.
Multiple Mitt believes in Moroni. And Joseph Smith.
His business bona fides ain’t gonna mean shit wit’ thuh Ozarkians when thuh tungue-speakin’ rubber hits thuh snake-handlin’ road.
And he ain’t even drunk thuh poison.
Or cast out thuh demons.
Thuh Mark 16:17-18ers gonna be right pissed.
Mitt Romney:
Massachusetts Liberal Ridin’ Thuh Mormon Tank.
Dukakis should have been so lucky.
Personally, I think Mitt would be a GREAT candidate to run against in 2008. But I am always confused how the religion is such an issue. The people who can’t accept Mormonism are the same ones who insist immaculate conception and zombie jeebus are totally legit concepts…
Pregnancy without conception and zombie saviors are completely OK.
Said zombie savior visiting ancient native americans or local rube circa 1800 TOTALLY BIZARRE!
Poor weepy Mitt. I hear some hot tea and a Midol sometimes helps with the uncontrollable tears.
Read these two pieces.
http://counterpunch.org/lendman12172007.html
http://counterpunch.org/whitney12172007.html
Deep shit. Reminds me of Biloxi Blues…
Sgt. Toomey: Deep shit Epstein! Jerome, how deep in the shit would you say he is?
Pvt. Jerome: About here, Sergeant (signaling to his forehead).
Revisiting another classic cinematic triumph-Bachelor Party…
Tom Hanks: So, how’s it going?
‘Luded Up Friend: My life sucks, it’s all crap, it’s just a big pile of shit!
Yeah, feeling a trifle fucked up tonight.
Read those two pieces and tell me you’re not feeling the same way.
Feckin’ ama-chewers. Willard’s publicist learned him a new trick for the cameras an’ now he’s determined to show it off everywhere, like a six-year-old sharing his laboriously acquired knock-knock joke.
My heart is a cold shrunken kernel of bitter snark, but another 11 months of Stake President CEO Mitt may actually awaken in it some sympathy for the Five Bros. Imagine having to grow up knowing your tiny white heinie is at the “mercy” of a grinning sociopath like this. *Shudder*
When are we gonna hear more about that Mormon underwears. Do the boys wear it? What kind of magic does it impart? I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
I can understand why he was so happy that Black Americans would be permitted to be treated like human beings by his church. Had they done otherwise, the church was going to lose its tax exemption.
A divine inspiration occurred to the Mormon Pope then: the feds will play tough if you discriminate against anyone except for women.
Praise Joe Smith and our magic silk panties!
Is emotional instability really a value we look for in a president? I mean, when the shit hits the fan and everyone gathers in the situation room and look to the president for advise, and all he can do is sob and ask the joint chiefs of staff to pass the kleenex, we’re hosed.
Unless Moroni hears the tears and comes riding down on his tapir to whack our enemies over the head with a golden tablet or some shit — I’m a bit rusty on my cultish dialects; really need to brush up on my magic underwear lore…
that would of course be advice with a ‘c’ — remember: even on a cold Tuesday morning, spell check remains your friend…
“Islamohuckabeeism”, I’ll sign up for that fight.
I’m not sure what went wrong with Mitt. Maybe it’s that second-generation, fuck-up syndrome. I don’t remember his dad being such a tool. But I was pretty young when he was the Gov.
I’m still hoping the Huckster gets the GOP nom.
In the meantime, there’s always Dogs Against Romney to give us hope for America.
According to The General suggests Mittens got weepy like many other stormin’ mormons when the prophesy came that brown people could join their little club – It signaled the end times, and along with their more traditional bible thumping dopplegangers, thought this was a good thing.
The D.A.R.? I do not think that acronym means what you think it means…
Praise Joe Smith and our magic silk panties!
They wish they were silk. I have it on the authoritah of an ex-Mormon that it’s polyester all the way baby, hot and sticky as hell in the summer. There’s a reason why you don’t see adult Mormons of either sex in tank tops, ever.
I would be very happy if Mitt is the Repub nominee. He’s as shallow as an oil slick and is every bit the blatant pandering dissembler that the media pretended Al Gore was in 2000. He’d never accomplish a damn thing and would spend all his time posing for the Presidential portrait painter.
Now if Huckabee gets the nomination, I think we’re in trouble. He is a sincere lunatic, and the last seven years have shown just how vulnerable our counry is to the delusions of lunatics.
If you look carefully, you will see that, for a while, Mitt! only teared up in one eye. That seems to have been fixed
I am sure that was a great comfort to the parents of the dead soldier. “Our son didn’t die in vain, dear. Look–Mitt’s tearing up.” Then their eyes teared up imagining that their dead son was a toothy, grinning, overprivileged asshole riding around Iowa in the Mittmobile.
I did not see any tears from Mittsy. He had to pretend he cared for the camera and invent concern for his own safe at home boys. It is my guess Mitts does not personally know anyone injured or killed in this Godawful war. This phony, “I care” crap really pisses me off.
My son’s best friend was injured by an ied the first week he was in Iraq. The first calls my son got indicated that his friend, who was 19 at the time, would be paralyzed from the neck down. I held my son while he cried all night. He did not have to work to find a tear that never left his eye.
Another good friend was killed early on in the war. His sister, who was in my son’s class at school, marches ar anti-war rallys now. My kids did not have to fake tears for him either.
*my son’s friend is not paralyzed after all. He lost his right eye, and most of the use of both his left arm and his left leg. But almost a year later, he is improving.