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Big Brain Bryan at Hot Air:
This is a waste of a perfectly good ficticious (sic) super hero.
"In a move reminiscent of storylines developed during the World War II, the U.N. is joining forces with Marvel Comics, creators of Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk, to create a comic book showing the international body working with superheroes to solve bloody conflicts and rid the world of disease."
The UN has to resort to fiction to bolster its image because a book about the UN doing any good would by definition have to be a work of fiction.
"The comic, initially to be distributed free to 1 million U.S. schoolchildren, will be set in a war-torn fictional country and feature superheroes such as Spider-Man working with U.N. agencies such as Unicef and the “blue hats,” the U.N. peacekeepers."
Why not set the book in an actual war-torn country and highlight the heroic acts of real, actual US military men and women to help the people who live there? There is no shortage of those real heroes. We don’t need to credit their deeds to made-up comic book characters. But for the UN to do that would be to admit that there are real heroes in the world that the UN has done all it can to oppose. So there goes that.
Ah yes, I remember when military-hatin’ FDR had to commission Captain America to save us from Adolph Hitler because Americas fighting men were just a bunch of drunken slackers passing time until they could get home and start collecting their benefits.
Needless to say, Bryan seems to believe that the UN should take over for the US and highlight the American fighting man because the last time we had a real American hero that the Pentagon could promote, they managed to blow his fucking head off, and then they covered it up.
America can’t be trusted with nice things. We break them and then we neglect them.
Finally, Bryan leaves us with this:
In the whole story about the UN enlisting Spider-Man et al to burnish its pathetic image, we get one bit of truth.
"Although the U.N. did not come up with the initiative, the measure could help revive the body’s troubled image in the U.S., where relations have been strained, in particular during president Bush’s administration."
"John Bolton, the former U.S. ambassador to the U.N., once said that “if the U.N. building in New York lost 10 stories, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.”"
They should make a comic book about a super hero called Mustache Man. I just might buy that one.
"Mustache Man"?
Jesus. Is that what passes for clever in Michelle Malkin’s basement?
That is just so… sad.
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Captain Chlymidia.
Isn’t that “Mustache Man” getting punched out by Captain America?
Mustache Man’s mysterious superpowers include bringing Pam AtlasJuggs to a screaming orgasm in six seconds from 500 yards away.
Hey girls, Mustache Man is giving free rides!
Why does Bucky seem so — detached — and euphoric?
And how did Captain America become Captain America? Drugs!* Probably an early anabolic steroid compound.
But it’ OK – they were government-supplied drugs. Kinda like the CIA with acid later on. Feds got the best dope.
*Kids! Don’t try this at home!
It’s because he’s getting a moustache ride, no doubt.
In either of Word Salad Pam’s interviews with him, did he once — ONCE — take his eyes off of her chest?
The U.N.’s Educational Department responds.
Dear Brian,
Thanks for taking the time to write such a long letter, and special thanks for your super suggestions.
You see, sometimes there are stories that are good for children to learn, but are too complicated for them, especially if they are just reading them on the computer with no adults around.
We like to put these stories in an EZ to read format, like a comic book, so they can understand them.
For instance, we think they should know about the U.N’s work in Darfur, even though your country, and many others, won’t really help, but we can’t use real film, because all those chopped off heads and arms that the bad guys left behind makes little boys and girls a little upset.
We are trying to educate without hurting the children. I’m sure you understand.
We would also like to thank you for the idea about a character named Mustache Man, but we have already used that character during another war way back in the 1940’s.
From the crayons you used to write your letter, I can tell you are much too young to remember that story.
But, keep writing and as a prize for the best letter we have received this month, we will be sending you an official blue UN flashlight along with a “WMD inspector” badge kit to impress your friends.
U.N. Department of Special Education
Or, you know, the UN isn’t the US armed forces’ publicist.
Speaking of Pat Tillman, Marvel has an interesting subplot in their Avengers: The Initiative book involving a very Tillmanesque character (his nom de ubermensch is MVP) who dies in a friendly fire incident and has his death covered up by the government. God only knows what Mustache Man’s wannabe sidekick would think of that.
America can’t be trusted with nice things. We break them and then we neglect them.
That line brought tears to my eyes. Probably because I can see it inscribed on the tombstone of our national reputation.