Is someone vacuuming in the background? I hear a whining noise….

He finally had doctors lance the talking boil that was all that remained of his original, not-so-insane, head. (see How to Get Ahead in Advertising for details.)

If God exists, one of his doctors was a Muslim.

No, seriously. I heard a high pitched sucking sound.

“If God exists, one of his doctors was a Muslim.”

Or a Mexican-Muslim-woman-doctor who got her degree from Jihadi University in Rawalpindi and now lives part-time in Tijuana selling sweet icy drinks to Gringos looking for a good time.

Oh, very likely. That’s why the CEO of the hospital is going to hear from him.

The sound MAY have been my teenager’s video game, but I’m sure I heard whining and sucking on that video.

God, he’s truly one, big pathetic cry-baby. “I now know what compassion means”. Well, Glenn, if the botched sex change operation was what it took, then bully for all of us.

Yes, Glen, you “have stories that melt our brains.” That’s why we don’t watch your show. It would certainly be nice if your “ordeal” on death’s door made you a better person and made you want to take a stand for better health care in this country, but how pathetic that you have to suffer some MD fuckup in order to see the light. You really don’t do much in the way of thinking, Glenn, do you? Have you considered organ donation to make amends to the world?

A Jackson on phalloplasty.

I feel sorry for the guy’s suffering. Truly. But the next time he goes off on “Hillarycare” he might want to consider the level of care he would have gotten if he had no health insurance.

Man, 6 minutes in if someone had handed me a gun I’d have offed myself, too.

A sawbuck on Rectal-craniectomy.

I’m going with; Emergency Gerbil-dectomy.

Are there surgical procedures for malignant narcissism? If so, it clearly wasn’t successful.

Sadly, most Gerbilectomies result in the death of the poor creature, while the host remains alive. Equally lamentable is the fact that this procedure is almost always a result of improper de-clawing and shaving of the animal before insertion and, from what I hear, is easily avoidable by obtaining your pet from a reputable firm such as Limbaugh Laborotories.

I’ve got doublewetsuitdildoectomy.

In extreme cases the doublewetsuitdildoectomy is the percursor procedure to the Gerbilectomy.

I hear a whining noise…

Uh, that’s Glenn.

Still trying to wrap my head around the idea that Beck seems to think it would only be natural that the hospital would “care” more about him or the president of GE than some regular “schlub”. Obviously, the self-awareness transplant was rejected.

This was obviously a brain transplant gone horribly, tragically awry…

yeah, i hear those vasectomies can be murder.

Maybe they cut his balls off by mistake.

I’m sure I heard whining and sucking on that video…

When it comes to Glenn Beck videos, “whining and sucking” are a feature, not a bug.

Ten bucks on full-body liposuction/’skin’ removal, which his doctors warned him should *not* be attempted in conjunction with total facial botox, but Glenn doesn’t listen to people who aren’t on teebee just because they’re going to be holding sharp implements over his unconscious body. Another ten bucks on how long it’ll take him to discover that one of his stupid, unfeeling, insensitive, uncaring, self-absorbed surgeons threw in a free vasectomy while Glenn was out cold.

Anal Warts?

What the f**k is he talking about? He’s going to “name names” on Monday! Can’t wait! Where does he live? Atlanta? I hope you follow up and let us know what that was all about, ’cause I can’t watch him. Thanks!

Well, Glenn, if the botched sex change operation was what it took, then bully for all of us.

Speaking as a transsexual… sorry but you straights have to keep him. We don’t want him. And he would never qualify anyway. Ya know, there are standards and suicidal ideation will get you taken off the list in a real hurry. For Glenn I would recommend a year of intensive one on one psychotherapy and group therapy. Then two years of living as a woman before we even consider reassignment surgery. With as big of a baby as he seems to be, I don’t think he’d cut it (so to speak).

Speaking as a hetreosexual…well, we don’t want the prick–we’ve got enough assholes already.

Fucking GLENN BECK is going to tell me how best “to apply compassion”? He’s got some examples; he’s got some definitions? Permit this compassionate liberal fascist to tell you to FOAD, Glenn.

If it was a liposuction on his head, they missed a couple of chins. Maybe that’s what he’s pissing and moning about.

Damn…how trashed is he?

Not quite full fledged suicidal enough…..

I’ve buried two parents, two step-parents, and a half-brother. In no particular order, three cancers, one congestive heart disease, and AIDS (back when it was a death sentence, of the most excruciating kind). The dyings happened over months or years. Not one of them whined like this guy.

“Oh! Oh! I’m experiencing some temporary discomfort! If I could kill myself, I would!”

Be my guest.

I could be more charitable if he had been less cruel to others… I could be more charitable if I thought he would not revert to form within days or a week after his discomfiture ends…

Do unto others…? Ya just got did.