Goddamn it, I thought I told you to lay off the American Gladiators. That stuff will make you go blind.

Rush Limbaugh?

Proof positive that right wing output is toxic, and should be handled under strict HAZMAT protocols. Get well soon, dude.

You, Sir, are one sick puppy. Hey, I’m too lazy for research tonight. Can someone please fill in the blank: “Glenn Beck’s near-death experience was caused by ______”?

Hope you feel better; just turn off the TV, ignore the paper, and it’ll go away real quick.

Hey – you won the office pool! It was hemorrhoids after all.

Take your time, T. Glenn Beck’s situation shows us that the Lords of Karma have got everything under control.

Think it makes you sick to read them? Just think what it’s like to be them…. **~~ shudder ~~**

Right on and SECOND on you winning the RoidOfficePool.

Us Anal-expressives can spot an anal-retentative a mile away. OUCH!

Be well.

I got nothing funny. Get well soon.

Your doctor will be asking the bassets if you seem lethargic.

Take two bowls of chicken soup a day and get well soon.

Professor Wagstaff: I got it. Haddock.
Baravelli: That’s-a funny. I gotta haddock, too.
Professor Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?
Baravelli: Well-a, sometimes I take-a aspirin, sometimes I take-a Calamel.
Professor Wagstaff: Say, I’d walk a mile for a Calamel.

Feeling better now?

Speaking of ‘roids, did anyone see that 50 Cent and Mary J. Blige got busted
for takin’ the juice? To what end? Your guess is as good as mine.

Feel better. And lay off the Malkin cheerleader video–that’s probably what got you sick in the first place.

Get better Tbogg, your Bassetts need you.

Bloggers union have paid sick leave?

I’m not worried; Glenn never shares his luv-hamsters.

I hope you have a note from your doctor.