Considering that most of the “founding mothers” are at least perimenopausal by now, perhaps we should give Erik partial misogyny points for noting any form of hormonal shift not abated by extracts of horse piss or yams.

As for Ms. Pappas’ trivializing of rape, she probably isn’t old enough to appreciate that the line about “high tech lynching” never really worked out for Clarence Thomas, either.

Even Alan Keyes?

Let us remember, what we as human rights supporters, are charged to do: SUPPORT HUMANS!

Not me, baby. I’ve had enough of this homosapien chauvinism. After thousands of years of human rule, look what a shithole this planet has turned into.

I’m waiting for the first viable non-human candidate*, and that’s what I’ll be voting for.

*And no, [insert name of fringe candidate of choice] doesn’t count.

Yeah, I’ve been pointing out their stupidity of all their Kennedy hatred concerning Chappaquiddick since the endorsement was mentioned. As much as they call Kennedy a murderer for having a car accident, you figure they would go after Laura Bush as well.

They hate the Clintons so much that they are defending, and rooting for, Obama. It’ll be fun to watch them flip if he’s nominated.

Some of the wingnut officers of my company like Obama better than anybody the GOP is throwing up there. His shift to the center seems to have them fooled. I am hoping he will actually govern from the left if elected. Considering his Lieberman endorsement, that may be wishful thinking on my part.

The fact remains that Ms. Pappas and NOW NYS are totally off base here and actually cross over the line into the absurd and repulsive. As Jon Stewart might say, “Stop. You’re hurting women.”

If someone were looking for a way to demonize NOW and the feminist movement, Pappas gives them more ammunition then anyone could reasonably require.

So Senator Clinton, a woman well-versed and quite successful in the knock-down world of tough campaigning is really just a pretty little schoolgirl who is being gangbanged by her male political opponents.

“Let us remember what we as women’s rights supporters, are charged to do: SUPPORT WOMEN!”

Let us remember, what we as human rights supporters, are charged to do: SUPPORT HUMANS!

Let us remember, what we as African American supporters, are charged to do: VOTE FOR THE BLACK GUY

(unless he’s really not “black” I mean, in the modern definition of “black”, I mean, he could actually be an African-American. And hell, you think this woman could at least spell Barack correctly, not to mention getting her tenses correct before hitting send.)

Or my personal all-time favorite … Let us remember, what we as Democrats, are charged to do: SUPPORT DEMOCRATS!

Aiiee!! That’s homophobic and ridicules the learning disabled!!!

And that’s a lot more difficult than it sounds. She’s the one who recently trivialized rape imagery by accusing John Kerry, John Edwards, and Barack Obama of performing a “psychological gang bang” on Hillary Clinton.

No, I only wish I was kidding. Remember, everyone, as you read the following, that this isn’t an off-the-cuff remark made in the heat of the moment — this is an official press release:

PRESS RELEASES

Psychological Gang Bang of Hillary is Proof We Need a Woman President
January 11, 2008

by Marcia Pappas, President NOW – New York State

We’ve all witnessed scenarios where, on the playground little girls are being taunted by little boys while both girls and boys stand idle, afraid to speak up or even cheering. Or, in the workplace males tease young and older female co-workers; make obscene gestures, inappropriate comments, laughing and expecting (often correctly) that everyone will join in. Then there was that movie where Jodie Foster portrayed the true story of woman who was ganged raped in a bar while others looked on and encouraged the realization. Still others pretended the rape didn’t happen. In short, gang raping of women is commonplace in our culture both physically and metaphorically.

This past week, we witnessed just such a phenomenon involving men who are afraid of a powerful woman. Hillary Clinton, in her quest for her Presidential nomination, has in fact endured infantile taunting and wildly inappropriate commentary. Indeed we have witnessed almost comical attacks by John Edwards who in turn sided with Barak Obama as both snickered at Clinton’s “breakdown,” which consisted of a very short dewy-eyed moment. Now John Kerry, who should certainly know better after his own “swiftboating,” has joined the playground gang.

But here’s the news. Every woman knows how it feels! There are those who will dismiss, defend or even shame those around them into believing that we progressives are making a mountain out of a mole hill. But that’s the game plan of the patriarchal system that has persisted for millennia. Because they can’t frighten Hillary they’ve decided to control her with the time-old trick of patriarchal ridicule. Women, you know what I mean!

Pundits want to know what happened in New Hampshire. Why didn’t the polls see it coming? How could they have gotten it so wrong? Well, aside from the thousands of women and progressive men who made calls from their homes, dropped literature, and held house parties for undecided voters, the truth of the matter is…women get it! That’s why, when women in New Hampshire could vote in private, they came out in droves for Hillary. They’d seen more Hillary bashing than had Iowa’s women, and the polls stopped too early to measure their collective reaction. What happened is that women stood up and said “We’re fed up and we’re not going to take it anymore! We won’t sit idly by and watch, while you gang bang one of us.” One woman told me she didn’t even want to vote for Hillary because she feared that her campaign would be the most dreadful blood bath in the history of politics. I asked her “if Hillary is willing to stick her neck out for us, should we not be brave enough to stand strong behind her?” She agreed and said of course she would vote for Hillary.

We have waited a long time to see our first truly viable women presidential candidate. And what we see now during the debates is what women and girls have experienced from time immemorial. But it seems John’s recent alliance with Barak sent a clear message to women everywhere. The message is that if a woman gets too powerful, she can count on the good ole boys ganging up on her. Hillary is a powerful, strong and intelligent woman and she deserves our support. Let us remember what we as women’s rights supporters, are charged to do: SUPPORT WOMEN!

And I, your writer,certainly speak from the belly of the beast. I was in Iowa for ten days with other feminist leaders, donating our personal time and money to help with Hillary’s campaign. And in spite of our shortfall in Iowa, we did make a difference. Our efforts gave Hillary second place in the precinct we walked. Let me tell you why.

Our job on caucus night was to transport eight women from a nursing home to their caucus site. These were eighty-to-ninety-year-old women who came out in the cold weather and climbed into our vans to stand for Hillary. As we talked with glee about the possibility of our first women president, we were overjoyed to hear stories of their dedication to making it happen. One woman said “I never thought I would live long enough to see a woman president.” Another woman said “It’s about time; we need to have a woman as our President.” These were women who were born around the time that women won the right to vote. They’d heard first-hand stories of that struggle from their mothers and grandmothers. They fought long and hard to see a day when they could have their own credit cards, own their own homes and be in control of their own bodies. They remember all too well when it was legal for a man to beat and/or rape his wife because she was HIS property. They remember when “rape” was ignored by people in the community and law enforcement officials. “She must have done something to deserve it” was common language in those days. Today we still see variations on this same behavior, more subtle perhaps, through success of our efforts, but nonetheless still abusive.

Now those senior citizens we transported stood tall for Hillary, and want us all to know that to have a woman president is to send a clear message to little girls everywhere: “Yes, you can do great things and even become President of the United States.” Those senior citizens really get it!

So let’s not let young women and little girls down, whether it’s on the playground, in the workplace, or in the political arena. Young women need role models. They need to know they can be powerful and control their own lives. By putting Hillary in the Oval Office we send that message loud and clear for all to hear. Little girls everywhere need to know that to be important they don’t have to emulate Brittany Spears or other similarly-exploited women. We can do it!

Think about the legacy we’ll leave behind when we support Hillary Clinton for President of the United States. Let’s put a stop to the psychological “gang banging” of women and girls. Let’s stand up and be counted by way of the hard-won votes we can now cast!

Marcia A. Pappas, President, NOW New York State

Cue: …a lonely whistle echoes amidst the headstones…