Tweet
Smells like bacon and Play-Doh
CPAC finally gets down to some serious business:
Ace Gets The Blogger Of The Year Award
So, after lunch, I head over to catch Ace from Ace of Spades HQ getting a blogger of the year award.
Ace runs a pretty wild blog, uses a lot of profanity, and so I’m thinking, "Hey, here’s a great opportunity for a ‘Coulter’ moment. Ace could come out wearing a Motorhead ‘Ace of Spades’ t-shirt, spit beer into the crowd, drop a few F-bombs. This could be great!"
So, when I finally see Ace I am completely and utterly shocked because he sort of looks like Mark Steyn. But, I figure, "Hey, maybe the guy is just dressed up for the convention, you know like a thug who gets dressed up for court."
But, then Ace starts to talk and — dude, he sounds like a political science professor. He talks about the differences between European and American political parties and I am wondering if somebody conked Ace on the head and replaced him with a local college professor.
Possibly a local college professor if the college was, say, Dane Cook U. Listen and learn:
Best friend gay — okay, I can see that one going either way; one of my best buds is a homo. Turned off by cunninglingus? Eh, a lot of guys don’t dig that. Who the hell knows what’s going on down there. It’s like H.R. Geiger giving up ink and canvas to work in the avant-garde medium of Play-Doh and bacon.
Which might explain Mary Katherine Ham.
Either way I think this says that, like John McCain, they’re running on empty…
11 Comments
Support this site!
Subscribe to the newsletter
Advertise on Firedoglake
Send
us your tips
Make us your homepage
About TBogg
RSS/XML Feed
Oh my God, the words “cunnilingus” (OK, so one of us misspells it) and “Mary Katherine Ham” appeared within two paragraphs of each other. I’m gonna be sick.
(Old sick joke punch line: “No, but the guy before you was!”)
People in the village, Watch the children play
At the sight of a stranger, They call the kids away
Just leave that man alone, I hear the mothers say
Too long in the wasteland
Too long in the wasteland
What’s made him that way – James McMurtry
Tbogg, be very careful looking into that void
Certainly Ms. Ham fashions herself as a cunning linguist.
And, to paraphrase the great Jules Winfield, a sewer rat may fashion itself as a pumpkin pie, that doesn’t mean I’m gonna eat it.
Yea, and since we’re talking about Ham, Jules don’t eat no ham either if I recall. The pig is a filthy animal.
Looks like ‘ol Mary Katherine has a double whammy working against her. Oh well, I’m sure she can find some studs at CPAC to save her from another lonely night.
Who can forget how many hours Ace agonized over the grim necessity for brave American defenders to probe into every Muslim-looking woman’s bacon and playdoh to look for plastic explosives?
After much lost sleep on a very sweaty pillow, he very reluctantly concluded that we must… and with a final shudder, updated his post to add a beaver joke.
Holy shit! Do you realize that you may have, inadvertently or not, accomplished the almost Herculean feat of:
1. actually coining a totally new phrase for fucking somebody.
AND-
2. using two words (bacon and playdoh) which, to my knowledge, have heretofore never been used to describe that certain part of the female anatomy.
I stand in awe.
melior-
All snark aside, both the first sentence of your comment, and the link, provided a much-needed late night laugh. Thanks.
Why does he call himself ‘truthlaidbear’? If he’s so willing to drop a few f-bombs, then why is he playing coy with his name instead of coming right out and calling himself ‘truthfuckedbear’? Laid is so 70’s, and he’d be absolutely horrified if he knew the gay context of ‘bear’. He ain’t no bear.
If this guy was trying be a pal of mine, I’d come out right away just to get rid of him.
A CPAC Seersucker, if you will…
Tom, I was thinking about being gay, and then I saw that card and changed my mind, and then I realized it is my mom. What should I do?
LD