My ice cubes soaked up my drink again

Captain Ed discovers an intrepid unemployable doof living in a friends garage citizen journalist who is going to single-handedly bring down Senator Hillary Clinton’s presidential ambitions and, as a result, possibly save The Republic

Dan Calabrese’s new column on Hillary Clinton’s past may bring the curtain down on her political future. Calabrese interviewed Jerry Zeifman, the man who served as chief counsel to the House Judiciary Committee during the Watergate hearings, has tried to tell the story of his former staffer’s behavior during those proceedings for years. Zeifman claims he fired Hillary for unethical behavior and that she conspired to deny Richard Nixon counsel during the hearings

Cue The Prairie Dog of Startling Revelations!

How could the combined forces of the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and USA Today not know about this or, at the very least, employ a simple colorful chart that explains it to people who aren’t into the whole "literacy thing"?

Well, actually the Washington Post did, way back in ought-96:

In 1973 Jerry Zeifman, chief counsel to the House Judiciary Committee, decided to keep a diary of the "extraordinary events" surrounding the impeachment of President Nixon. Now, Zeifman draws on that diary to give us Without Honor: Crimes of Camelot and the Impeachment of President Nixon, in which he accuses government officials of obstructing the impeachment inquiry. Their reason? Not any sympathy for the besieged Richard Nixon, but a desire to protect the reputation of John Kennedy. Zeifman’s book will surely excite conspiracy buffs on the lookout for sinister coverups in high places. But those wary of such unsubstantiated theories (myself included) will find Zeifman’s book an unconvincing, if imaginative, tale of intrigue.

Zeifman’s theory goes something like this: John Doar, Hillary Rodham, Bernard Nussbaum and other Kennedy loyalists investigating Nixon obstruct his impeachment "to cover up malfeasance in high office throughout the Cold War." The scheming starlets are abetted by Peter Rodino, a weak, corrupt chairman of the House Judiciary Committee who is afraid that Nixon might expose his own Mafia ties. Rounding out the list of conspirators is Burke Marshall, Robert Kennedy’s assistant attorney general, who orchestrates the bogus investigation in the hopes of keeping Nixon in office, which will, he believes, help Ted Kennedy win the White House. Using a variety of dubious legal strategies — still with me? — Doar and his co-conspirators do everything they can to avoid putting the president on trial, a strategy, they hope, that will prevent Nixon’s lawyers from revealing the "crimes of Camelot."

The lack of evidence makes this theory hard to swallow. Zeifman’s most reliable source — his diary — contains few revelations and seems little more than a chronicle of his suspicions and speculations. The book’s jacket cover, which promises readers "truths even more startling than those brought out in Oliver Stone’s movies ‘Nixon’ and ‘JFK’, " does not help matters. Perhaps the book’s publicists forgot that "Nixon" and "JFK" were, after all, only Hollywood movies.

So it looks like, in Calabrese, Zeifman found someone who would buy him a couple of drinks ("You got any of them peanuts or pretzels or sumthin’?") to hear about the plot to save Nixon… and Kennedy (s), possibly on orders from Walt Disney’s frozen head speaking to them from the sound stage where they faked the moon landing.

Wheels within wheels, man….