How’s about we let a polar bear perform his next hemorrhoid operation?

Or just eat him and be done with it.

The “reality” of Glenn Beck outstrips Stephen Colbert’s satire.

Bears! Who’d’a thunk it?

…&So the polar bear sez to Beck: “You’re not really into hunting, are you…”

Salty!

Beck makes Malkin look like Edward R. Murrow.

I think they may have actually enlarged the asshole.

Seriously, how does this guy have a show? If you’re going to be dumber than a bag of rocks, at least be funny. This guy ain’t funny. On top of that, his ratings suck.

How does he have a job?

WTF is CNN thinking? Test Pattern has a higher Q than this nitwit. For the life of me I’m going to scratch my head raw trying to figure how these guys get paid to be this stupid. So many, so few brains.

The Beckian stupid helps keep the average American stupid REALLY stupid.

Like the kind of stupid that votes away jobs, healthcare and union influence so Adam and Steve cain’t turn teh yowwuns to teh gay and Adam and Eve cain’t call a mulligan on teh blastocyst.

Y’know…STUPTEHFUCKID.

Okay — Beck is in all ways, the idiot everyone says. Polar bears are at risk thanks to global warming: they only hunt on sea ice, so if the ice forms late or not at all they starve to death. Or swim, searching for the ice, until they drown.

And they fast, completely, from the time the ice melts to the time it forms again: when they’re hunting in the fall, they’re going out to eat for the first time in months.
Link to a study

But — well, yes, they do eat people: that is, they will purposely track and hunt people, rather than just being aggressive or unpredictable when crowded or surprised like a grizzly or a black bear. They’re the only carnivore that hunts humans, with the exception of some tigers and big crocodiles. Unlike most bears, they’re pure carnivores: that’s all there is to eat in the arctic. So to them, we’re just one more big bag of meat, and in this kind of of harsh environment, meat is meat — you take what you can get.

It makes looking at images of the bears sniffing around the tourist snow-cats up at Churchill Manitoba particularly interesting.

Here’s a link a Quirks & Quarks podcastthat has a response to the question: it’s the question of the week at the very end. Quirks is the CBC radio science show: it’s reputable.

I think Beck’s worried because CNN told him that if he didn’t tone down teh stoopid, they’d feed him to the polar bears. THE DREADED POLAR BEARS!!
…though, if that were the case, I might hope he’d keep up the stoopid for a little while…

Glenn Beck visited a very large local entertainment venue on his “speaking tour” last summer and apparently sold the place out. I sort of wanted to do a “Glenn Beck Parking Lot” thing, but I’m not really brave enough.

Glenn Beck is CNN trolling for Limpballs and O’Lielly’s audience. Knowing a few of thes “news” consumers myself, I’d say he’s got the right mix of outrage + stupid. All he needs now is a few more of O’Lielly’s exclusive stories on strippers and he may have a chance of garnering that angry old white guy demographic that Pox News gives a rage-filled handjob to every day.