Another tough guy, bronzed by 911, like David Frum having the new found
balls to assault a questioner at the LA Times Book Fair as he compared
himself to that other street fighter Chris Hitchens… it’s the new
badass chic.

George W. Bush is to Gary Cooper in High Noon what shit is to shinola. The problem is, some people will never be able to tell the difference.

Bush must be a physical coward like LBJ, Nixon, Reagan, Clinton… cowards all of them, yet saw themselves as fierce leaders, decisive
commanders… yeah, right.

Genuine humor requires irreverence.

Conservatives lack this Right Stuff by nature.

Gary Cooper, Heinz 57 metaphors?

This unhip bohunk should trade in his Edsel for starters.

How quickly they forget – John Wayne – one of the trure gods of the right wing – hated High Noon – some Wayne quotes taken from emanuellevy.com “In that picture, four guys come in to gun down the sheriff. He goes to the church and asks for help and the guys go, ‘Oh well, Oh. gee.’ And the women stand up and say, ‘You’re rats. You’re rats. You’re rats.’ So Cooper goes out alone.”

“It’s the most un-American thing I’ve seen in my whole life,” charged the actor, for the rugged men of the frontier, who had battled the Indians as well as nature, would not be afraid of four villains. Instead, they would have united, as they had united “to make the land habitable.”

Wayne was humiliated by the movie’s last scene, showing Cooper “putting the United States marshal’s badge under his foot and stepping on it.” Walking away from his job, as Cooper did, was inconceivable to Wayne’s commitment to responsibility and public office.”"

In the real world – ones like this nitwit are sitting in the salon – complaining about all those tax dollars that go to the Marshall and making sly racist jokes about shoe shines.

and humor – sometimes you have to laugh – because it’s to absurd not to.

But then one day, against everybody’s will, the truth about our place in the world was revealed to us in all its clarity.

Clear as mud.

http://www.informationclearing…..e13664.htm

I see a huge new opportunity for conservohacks – re-reviewing every movie ever made to reveal the hidden George Bush vs. the World metaphor. Think of the possibilities:
Jaws – Chief Brody alone realizes the menace of the terror shark while the callow townspeople ridicule him (even money the Mayor was a Democrat). The Godfather – Only one man is tough enough and wise enough to do what has to be done – the weak cannot possibly understand what such greatness requires (added bonus – Neil as Fredo). The possibilities are endless. Can’t wait for J-Lo’s take on It’s a Wonderful Life.

If this guy was trying to teach us how humor can speak truth to power and everything, wouldn’t it have been appropriate to write something, um, funny?

You know this was one of those people who nodded gravely to the notion that 9/11 killed irony and apparently he’s still nodding today.

As for me, reading that pablum just made me want to nod off.

That’s why I never laugh at the jokes made by Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, David Letterman, and the rest of them. They remind me of the offensive saloon cads in High Noon.

That’s funny, they remind my of folks like Jonathan Swift and Lenny Bruce — people who told the uncomfortable, sometimes painful, truths in a funny way.

Oleg doesn’t find them funny not because of some higher moral character, but because people like him are the butt of the joke.

That, and conservatives just suck ass at humor. Seriously … name me one conservative who is truly and intentionally funny. Just. One.

Hey, this can be fun:
Duck Soup: That snooty Mrs. Teasdale (representing the American electorate) wants Rufus T. Firefly (Bush) to be Prime Minister of Fredonia (President of the United States), and then she and her liberal friends look down their noses at him. The great “Fredonia’s Going to War” dance number would have been terrific on the eve of the Iraq invasion.

By the way, I think we have a new world’s record in Wingnut Outrage: This guy is offended by the imaginary jokes of the saloon barflies, which are not actually in the movie at all.

Does this mean I get to be drunk in a bar with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert? Because I could totally get behind that.

Dang. It’s Chris Muir in prose form.

Sadly, not as meaningless and insane without the warped drawings.

I didn’t know Heinz made truths…

Closing scenes of Love Story, McCain as J. Cavallieri, complete with pastel IV board on right arm, Bush as Oliver in tweed jacket and shoes wrinkling the color coordinated hospital sheets. Then 41 and 43 outside the hospital: “Never loving anyone ever means winner take all”. Ewik Segal was just a misplaced Beethoven, novelizing out of time.

Sigh.

Can we get this guy to hold forth on South Park Republicans? Talk about comedy, even if badly unintentional.

…and the saloon was full (drinking is popular) of corrupt (corruption is popular) drunks and cowards with other priorities who cheered for the banditos because their portfolios would benefit.

Clockwork Orange

Alex DeLarge: George W. Bush.

The Writer: The American people circa 2003.

The Writer’s Wife: Iraq.

“Viddy well, little brother, viddy well…”

Road to Perdition:

Connor Rooney (GWB): I can look after myself.
Frank Nitti (Cheney): No, you can’t! This is the point. You’re a big baby who doesn’t know his thumb from his dick!

But then one day, against everybody’s will, the truth about our place in the world was revealed to us in all its clarity.

we are attacked from afghanistan, therefore we bogg our military down in a totally unrelated counrty until the army or the dollar collapses, whichever comes first.

love that right-wing clarity.

Apocalypse Now

Willard: The American people in 2010 no matter who’s President.

Baghdad…Shit, we’re still here in Baghdad…

Quick poll: Which quote by Lt. Hauk (Bruno Kirby in Good Morning Vietnam) best summarizes Oleg’s dissertation on humor?

a) I understand you’re pretty funny as a DJ, and, well comedy is a kind of hobby of mine. Well, actually, it’s a little more than just a hobby. Reader’s Digest is considering publishing two of my jokes.

b) [To Adrian] You are not funny. But you are a maniac, and you’d better start changing your life.

c) Sir, in my heart, I know I’m funny.

d) All of the above

He could have done some searching for movies or plays (ha!) which do feature such a situation, but that would have been work. And they wouldn’t have been as way-hypocritical and ironic as his brilliant scenario ( – because no serious movie could get away with such a stupid scene, stupid! )

Conservative reality has such a fantasy-based bias.

For a realistic scene of barroom schmuck vs hero, see The Best Years of Our Lives as recently mentioned at some website, which I cannot locate now. Any pointers?

The Best Years of Our Lives, conservative exegesis: Sleazy strumpet Marie Derrie (the American People) marries Fred Derrie (Bush) because he looked so great in uniform, and she wanted someone to take care of her and protect her. Now, worn by the cares of war and in his hour of need, he finds that she’s turned away from him and is carrying on with draft dodgers and lowlifes (liberals), the slut!

Who wrote High Noon? Oh, yeah:

In 1951, during production of the film High Noon, Carl Foreman was summoned to appear before the House Committee on Un-American Activities. He testified that he had been a member of the American Communist Party more than ten years earlier while still a young man but had become disillusioned with the Party and quit. As a result of his refusal to give the names of fellow Party members, Foreman was labeled as an “uncooperative witness” and blacklisted by all of the Hollywood studio bosses.

Shitbags like Oleg Atbashian would have been right in there cheering McCarthy on. After all, when the Soviets tested their first atomic bomb, the truth about our place in the world was revealed to us in all its clarity.

The judge ran away, the pastor washed his hands, the friends stayed home, the pacifist Quaker bride left him, and the saloon was full of corrupt drunks and cowards who cheered for the bandits.

Damn flighty Quaker chicks!

For a bunch who considers themselves (culture) “warriors”, they sure do bitch about being victimized all the time.

Thanks, but that wasn’t exactly what I was looking for.

Meanwhile, I found a site for “conservative” movie, including The Best Years of Our Lives (which they had never heard of or seen before)

There is a strong conservative message with The Best Years of Our Lives…take care of the people who take care of you!
This falls under “conservative” because “the people” is US Military – with links to helping soldiers.

Okay, but did you know this about “Rear Window” which is a good movie
with a GREAT conservative theme (especially when you consider today’s climate with the War on Terror) … keep your eyes and ears wide open for anything… because folks, you just never know.

I’m not giving a link, the unintentional humor quickly turns banal.

Animal House:

General Otter: We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost thousands of lives.

George W. Blutarsky: Sounds good to me, I’m not goin’. Hey, we need another keg!

“No matter how professionally crafted those jokes might be, they would not strike me as funny and I would not laugh at them because they would be morally offensive.”

Unlike, for instance, Commander Codpiece and his boffo routine at the 2004 Press Ball, the one where he pretended to look for ‘the missing WMDs’ under the tables and behind the dais? I’m told the assembled Media Village Idiots laughed so hard some of the chairs had to be steam-cleaned! What’s not to like about using a blatantly imaginary ’search’ for non-existent weapons as an excuse to invade the wrong country, wasting trillions of dollars and tens of thousands of lives in the process?

Shorter Oleg Atbashian: Colbert pantsed my naked Chimperor beloved President two years ago and I’m still pissed off.

“The judge (W) ran away, the pastor (Cheney) washed his hands, the friends (Rove and Wolfowitz) stayed home, the pacifist Quaker bride (Coulter)left him, and the saloon was full of corrupt drunks and cowards (Enterprise Institute)who cheered for the bandits.”

Of course the Communist threat was NOTHING compared to this Islamofascistic one. Everyone knows that.

Can’t leave out my favorite – The Caine Mutiny. Queeg, cowardly, petty, inarticulate and incompetent. Reviled by the intellectual author Keefer and the Ivy-league elitist Keith. Yet, lo and behold, Queeg is revealed as the true hero by Barney Greenwald (a Jewish lawyer no less!). Queeg, see, was slogging away at the hard, unglamorous, unpleasant duty of keeping us safe from the Threat while Keefer was shagging comp. lit. majors and Willie Keith was cavorting on the playing fields of Princeton. Ergo, if not for the Queeg-Bushes of the world, the Hitler-Osamas win! That oughta teach you smug pointy-heads somethin’.

Malfunctioning MSM (MainStream Media) WGS (White Girl Scandal)Robot 319.0:

Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing. Miley Cyrus Right Shoulder Showing.

Enthusiastic Viewer of Malfunctioning MSM WGS Robot 319.0:

Don’t have to think about the illegal, horrible war of aggression; the fact that the CTD economy is the envy of Mali or the terrible reality that my job could be on the next plane to New Delhi.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh……..

Holy Deep Scary God Voiceover:

White Girl Scandal.

Wags the dog better than any war ever could.

(Scene)

They remind me of the offensive saloon cads in High Noon.

Does anyone other than the actors in 1930’s English movies use the word “cad?” Oleg is a jackanapes and a coxcomb.

Please see above.

The 57 varieties of the truth shrunk to just one choice — and you could either take it or leave it.

How does he know it was 57 varieties of truth?

Olaf has cleared up for me, a very important mystery.

Now I understand why this administration has no Truth, and is corrupt and packed with scandals.

Sheeets!

They gave Truth an ultimatum and she left, right after the Dick and George show kicked out all of Truth’s exact look-alike siblings.

Dickie and George cleaned house of Truth and her siblings when they arrived in the White House.

TomHilton and professorfate already provided the salient points about that film. The script was pretty clearly an allegory about what happens when all of your friends leave you hanging out to dry. This has been fairly well known for a long time.

In addition to being determined to shoehorn ideology into every single nook and cranny of American cultural life, people like Oleg Atbashian are simply stupid and, worse, utterly ignorant of history or historical context.

Pathetic.

High Noon — Bill Clinton’s favorite movie.

“the pacifist Quaker bride (Coulter)”

Allright. Quaker or not–them’s fightin’ words, friend.

TomHilton and MichaelHarrington got it right, but left out that “High Noon” was a metaphor for the McCarty hearings. Carl Foreman was the victim of those hearings and was blacklisted and moved to Europe.

Newly elected Ike did nothing for years. Even when McCarthy went after the Army. And it was Republican conservatives that fully supported McCarthy. Not until McCarty took on the Army did he face anyone that could fight him back as hard as he could.

One other comment in the NY Times: “(John Wayne) demanded in vain that Foreman remove his name from the screenplay. The Wayne vehicle ”Rio Bravo,” directed by Howard Hawks in 1958, was a deliberate anti-”High Noon.” Rather than seek help from the townspeople, Wayne’s tough sheriff declines their amateur offers of assistance. Nearly 20 years after ”High Noon” opened, Wayne was still angry, calling it ”the most un-American thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life” and telling Playboy that he’d ”never regret having helped run Foreman out of this country.”

I never laugh at the jokes made by Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, David Letterman, and the rest of them.

That would be the David Letterman who’s gone on numerous USO tours since 2001?

Yep, just one choice – Some Saudi guys destroyed a building following instructions from a black sheep of an important Saudi family. So we sanction the hell out of Saudi Arabia for that, right Olaf? Right? Olaf?

“TomHilton and MichaelHarrington got it right, but left out that “High Noon” was a metaphor for the McCarty hearings. Carl Foreman was the victim of those hearings and was blacklisted and moved to Europe.”

I meant to imply that but didn’t really spell it out. But, yeah, that’s the gist of it.

I still like the Rio Bravo Trilogy, even though Wayne and Leigh Brackett (who was, like John Milius, a very talented writer with insane politics) were involved with all three. I never really thought of them as an antidote to “High Noon”, but I can see it.

See, like most of us sane people, I don’t subject every film I see to a litmus test. I try to judge them on their aesthetic merits. I’m kind of quirky that way.

Having said that, “The Outlaw Josey Wales” is still an overrated sack of racist horseshit, based on a novel written by a Klansman.

Hey, could someone slip Oleg a copy of “The Crucible”? I’d love to read his analysis of it. I’m guessing he’d see it as a metaphor for the terrible treatment the Democrat Party handed out to Joe Lieberman.