Oh lordy. This is the big one...

According to Cap'n Ed, first mate on the good ship Screaming Malkin, Barack Obama is a doddering old man like Fred Sanford, unable to keep up with Hillary Clinton (as Bionic Woman Jaime Summers) and John McCain (as Steve Austin the My Wife Has All of the Money Man):

As I wrote earlier in regards to Obama’s appearance on Today, he seems to be running out of gas. Not knowing the exact city could be excusable in the grind of a presidential campaign, although it’s not exactly flattering, either. Not understanding what month it is — getting it almost two months off — and miscalculating the amount of time left for the general election looks more problematic. After all, the long campaign tells us in part whether a candidate can stand up to the demands of the office, and not knowing the place or the month of the present makes one look overwhelmed, at best.

And Obama’s the youngest candidate in the race. He’s the one who should be showing energy, enthusiasm, and presence. Instead, Hillary Clinton and John McCain have shown more of all these qualities, especially of late. If Obama can’t stand the demands of the road as well as the other two candidates, what does that say about his stamina if elected President?

They really are grabbing at straws aren't they? I mean, what if Barack Obama is called upon to bomb some Shi'ites or some Sunnis, will he be able to tell them apart? (The preceding does not apply to Republicans since the answer is: bomb them all and let Petraeus sort'em out).

In an effort to dispel rumors that he is lazy and shiftless, Barack Obama spent the day playing basketball (which is an elitist sport engaged in exclusively by negroes who lack the physical conditioning and fine motor skills required to bowl) while Hillary Clinton drove with some guy to buy gas and then let him pump it while she changed all of the radio station presets on his truck radio to "Todays Soft Rock" stations. John McCain was a bit more active, spending the day ratfucking that white guy who's supposed to be his running mate. No, not the Mormon, the other white guy.

That has to be exhausting.