It is my fervent hope and belief that we’re going to see more of this “reduced terminal performance” from the wingnuts as they are reduced from merely irrelevant to completely obsolete this November. I’m not talking about Gomer’s butt plug running out of batteries, but the whole sordid lot of ‘em finally giving up pretending their arguments — void of facts or reason — have any merit at all.

While the Powertools had their brief and wholly unearned moment of Time Magazine fame (okay, a bit like being featured on “Bowling Quarterly” if you ask me, but that’s perhaps just my unjust opinion of mainstream media) whatever audience might have existed for Gomer and his ilk will soon be reduced to fit in a small RV — quite convenient for, say, putting the whole sad lot of them out to pasture somewhere in the Florida, far from decent bandwidth and civilization.

Seriously, I don’t really care what guns the Iraqis prefer — if that’s what’s left of the argument in favor of this war, isn’t it time for even Gomer & Co. to concede the match and bring home the team?

Whatta a goddam chump. No wonder he’s never gotten laid.

How can you “covet” something that’s issued to you?

After his “evidence” that they like us, they really like us is destroyed, he makes shit up. Goggles and sunglasses?WTF? Aren’t they military issue, too?

Seriously, I don’t really care what guns the Iraqis prefer — if that’s what’s left of the argument in favor of this war, isn’t it time for even Gomer & Co. to concede the match and bring home the team?

The US military won the War in Iraq last year.

All major objectives have been realized.

Eliminate WMD. Since there weren’t any there after 1991, that’s a big fat check.

Take out Saddam. Big fat check.

Defeat Al Qaeda. When the Sunnis of Anbar rejected Al Q throughout 2007, the last US military objective was reached. Al Q is not a serious threat in Iraq whatsoever.

I said it over at FDL last fall and I’ll say it again — the United States won, let’s bring the troops home NOW.

I’m going out on Haight St. right now to find me a nurse to kiss!

It’s the right wingers who should be joining this parade first, but instead these gooper scum deny our troops the honor and victory they have achieved!

Do you think they would be so eager to adapt(sic) our gear if we were losing?

No one could possibly imagine that the Iraqis want to look like Americans to minimize the chances of having their asses shot off for being A Brown Skinned Guy in the Wrong Place.

Poor Gomer, wanking off his M-4, dreaming of an M-16.

Of course, for every Iraqi in cool American shades, there’s another improvising a weapon out of an old 9 volt battery and a fistful of sheet metal screws.

How does that figure into your they-want-to-be-like-us rationale?

Yes, but they’ll be US-made 9 volt batteries and shrapnel from the forges of the Midwest. America #1! The fact that we’re still bankrolling and controlling the whole thing might have a lot to say about their “choice” of weapon: if the free market was really allowed to work here, they’d no doubt be buying Chinese-made hollow point baby Jesus butt plugs with the silencer and the whole nine yards…

This must be recent because our military has been buying old Soviet bloc weapons for years to arm Iraqis and Afghanis. Remember the 21 year old in Florida selling useless Chinese ammo to the miliary?

It is recent. Apparently the American gun manufacturers felt they weren’t getting a big enough war-profit from this mess so they complained about us buying AK-47s and such. So there is a new program, we’re now going around and collecting all those Russian guns and trading them for American ones.

Interesting – no one has explained where the 147,000 or so missing weapons managed to get off to…

Justa hunch – if they are missing – they must be replaced. More war-profits anybody?

If the Iraq War is “lost” as journalists, politicians, and other Democrats continue to shrilly insist, then why is the Iraqi military choosing American weapons?

What? There’s an old Arab saying: You don’t kill people in a civil war with the arms you want, you kill people in a civil war with the arms you have you goat blowing womanfolk.

It isn’t because American M16s are better than AK-47s for the needs of the Iraqi military (they aren’t),

What? What? Are you saying the Soviets make a better product than the one the US Government contracts from a Chinese sweatshop? Nyet, comrade! Patriots are made of such stringy cheese these days. Back in the day, he’d be shot for that. With a motherfucking Smith and Wesson built in the Queer Nation-friendly city of Springfield, MA.

but because Iraqis are impressed by American soldiers and want to emulate them.

So does Gomer. By staying stateside, far from harm’s way and Iraqi Army regulars who’d probably frag him — just like the Americans would!

Shorter CY:

“The Iraqi’s obviously love us as is evident by the fact that they are forced by the US to use inferior weapons even though their other options are better! This proves we are winning. Now let me distract you with gun-nerd trivia before you realize that what I said makes no sense whatsoever.”

Actually, I believe Mr. Gomer himself is impressed with American soldiers and wants to emulate them. Not to the extent of actually, you know, becoming one of them, of course. But he does talk a good line on the characteristics of the M-4 and M-16. Also, compared to an American soldier, his barrel length is 5.5 inches shorter.

The Soviet Union was winning in Afghanistan right to the end,seeing as how the mujahadeen loved the AK-47.

For a while I was reading those Lee Childs novels back to back, all nine or twelve or fifteen gauge of them. After four hundred pages of this kind of detailed gun love even I was sounding like this. It creeps up on you. Now I only read food magazines and I’m much easier to deal with.

aimai

“If the Iraq War is “lost” as journalists, politicians, and other Democrats continue to shrilly insist, then why is the Iraqi military choosing American weapons?”

Amazing. What a stunning example of logical reasoning. I see absolutely no connection and no common subject between “If the Iraq War is “lost” as journalists, politicians, and other Democrats continue to shrilly insist” and “then why is the Iraqi military choosing American weapons?”

Wow. I’m so stupid. I just don’t follow their genius.

I didn’t follow “Al Quaeda is a Sunni organization, mainly of Saudi nationals, based in Afghanistan” and “We must Invade Secular Iraq”

I know, I know, I’m really stupid.

aimai, so now you know all about how an M-4 carrot is really just a “chopped” M-16 carrot with a shorter barrel, huh?

Do they have gold plated firing pins at the bi-monthly church social?

“Do they have gold plated firing pins at the bi-monthly church social?”

Only for those who faithfully attend for five years…