As documented previously, three intrepid bloggers/campaign aides/internet gurus/guys who go fetch coffee have taken it upon themselves to bodysnatch the moldering corpse of conservatism from the Republican Party in hopes of reanimating it before Islamoliberals can destroy what used to be a pretty fine country back when wingnut welfare flowed from Heaven the same way that urine from a Bourbon Street hooker rained down upon David Vitter.
Or something like that.
We’re talking about The Next Right where the axis of Dayton, Henke & Ruffini plan to:
…build a new Republican Party and conservative movement. As a community-driven grassroots action website for the right, we’ll feature in-depth political analysis, on-the-ground reports, and strategic discussion and debate.
And in the true spirit of "Hey, you guys! I know! Let’s put on a show!" a website was born with many posts of the kind that you might find at Red State… minus the spittle and unintentional humor. As part of that "community-driven grassroots action website for the right" thingie they are offering a platform for anyone (even you!) to start up your own Next Right blog (for free!) and if they like your stuff they’ll even put you on the front page (for free!).
So they’ve got the name, the logo, the phoney-baloney mission statement, the content (such as it is… for free!), but there is something missing; the jalapenos on their nachos, the sprinkles on their doughnuts, the beans in their burritos:
Help needed: Web content
We need content.
For too long, we’ve conceded the creative, clever and artistic to liberal causes both on the web and on the street. Can someone tell me why? The left has used graphics and video to affect public opinions, generate earned media and most importantly raise funds. Need a recent example? Take a look at Shepard Fairey’s Obama posters.
Perhaps it’s just me, but it feels like the conservative movement on the web is reaching a tipping point. We’ve got this shiny new blog here and some renewed vigor as the elections approach. But we’re still lacking is the Do It Yourself, street campaign mentality.
Do a Google Image search on “George Bush” and count how many Photoshopped pictures you find – just little graphics people have thrown together, posted and e-mailed around. Now try it with a Democrat. See the difference?
This is a start, but we need more. We need desktop wallpapers of Dems. We need more parodies of campaign posters. We need to get creative and get better on the web. We need more.
So if you’ve got Photoshop or lesser-known-but-free GIMP – make with the funny. Or make with the serious. Start flooding YouTube with clever and timely videos. Post more comments and include pictures.
Besides, I know a bunch of you – we’re funnier and more clever than our competition. Probably better looking too. And taller.
Well, no. Not really





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The 2001 visual reference is a nice touch, seeing that evolution, even without alien influence, is such a bugaboo for these tools.
I think I found one of their videos on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMJaNP4I6cg
So they’re going to build “a new Republican party and conservative movement” based on … snark?
Well, if any party lends itself to that, I suppose it’s the current Republicans.
“These guys couldn’t organize a gang-bang in a penal colony.” would be a more apt description of their “Skiltz”
They’re not only NOT funny, they’re anti-funny, and too stupid to notice. Exhibit A my friends.
[W]e’re funnier and more clever than our competition. Probably better looking too. And taller.
The possibility of my very own blog? FREE!!! I’ll be the conservative, twenty-something, African-American, gangsta wannabe, who rails about how Obama sold out the “brothers” by suckin’ up to white libruls. Does anyone really use the term “brothers” anymore? Oh well, it’s not like the wingnuts would notice….
The only way that website will survive is if talented left-wing bloggers infiltrate and parody the wingnuts for our own amusement.
Shorter The Next Right:
Do our work for us. For free. Now.
For too long, we’ve conceded the creative, clever and artistic to liberal causes both on the web and on the street. Can someone tell me why?
because the last thing people with any kind of creativity want is to be told to sit down, behave, and respect their betters ? “cautiously maintain the existing order!” is not exactly what you want to hear from your muse.
– and this endeavor is different from all the other dismal attempts at jump-starting the corpse that is the right-wing grassroots how, exactly?
Srsly, unless they’ve got themselves one of those open-ended welfare accounts from Regency Publishing this shiny new toy is going to fold before the Democratic primaries are over.
You gotta love a business plan for a website that sees the whole thing launched with great fanfare… only to then announce a desperate plea for something as significant as content (“hey, guys, I just realized something…”).
These clowns couldn’t drive a shopping cart in a supermarket, never mind a a community-driven grassroots action website. Now, if they were to do a self-parody site that took funny images of conservatives and mocked their hypocrisy, that’d be a slam-dunk and I’d be happy to subscribe.
Who didn’t see this one coming? Republicans don’t do “grassroots” – they’re far too used to being servile peons in the GOP pyramid scheme.
A free blog? Gosh, no one gives away free blogs. These guys will clean up! I’m working on some posts right now:
“The Funny Side of Iraq”
“Can a Halfrican-American Lead American-Americans?”
“Hillary Clinton: Bitch or Butch?”
I’ll be famous.
Not at all unexpected as a business model. These guys are in management. Labor is outsourced. They are paying an ideal Republican wage to their workers (nothing) while they sit back and puff on their Cohibas. After all, they did all the hard work in coming up with that brilliant mission statement.
Given the noxious emissions of this crowd, I would say they have entirely too many beans in their burritos. Here again we have further proof of the great and overwhelming value of conservative ideas – you cannot even give it away for free.
Young conservatives making with the funny… and not much else
Also Sprach Wingtards…
“How ’bout some more beans, Mister Henke?”
“I think you’ve had enough.”
Did I smell a Victory Caucus blog in the making? Or whatever the hell that one was called. The only traffic it got after the initial spike was snarkers clicking on a snark-given link to see how pathetic it was.
Rethugs don’t do bottom-up organizing; it’s not in their DNA. Unless Rush or Falafel Bill tells them what to think about/be mad about, they run out of things to do (other than just being generally pissed off and resentful, the rethug base-state).
There was more funny in this post than the entire opus of Mallard Fillmore.
I looked at their site. Foolish, I know – I quickly navigated away before my IQ was lowered forever.
I hope these brave lads and lasses continue their work, it will keep them off the streets, where they might be run over by horseless carriages.
Cleek pretty well hit the nail on the head.
I’d also submit as a contributing factor the key Republican ethic of “why make something when you can steal it”.
Alternate photo caption;
George W. Bush smashes to powder the last few bone fragments of the right wing carcass. For free!
What cleek said.
Conservative creativity consists of nothing but the search for new superlatives related to how bad liberals are. That mine has pretty much petered out.
I would argue, though, that the big thing missing from the Next Right is not content so much as it is the fatass cash endowment that forms the bedrock of every wingnut welfare op. Once you’ve got that, the content will grow just like the e. coli on a petri dish full of that horrible blood-jello.
It was worth a try for them, I guess, but not charging people to fling poo doesn’t seem to work as well as paying them to do it.
Other than that fabulous picture above, this item from the Poos’ blog pretty much sums them up: