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I for one appreciate the recent liberalization (such as it is) at National Review that has allowed them to comfortably give editorial space to writer/directors of soft-core vampire porn.
Real Men Vote for McCain
Top 10 reasons why.By Lou Aguilar
1. Barack Obama spent 20 years sitting in church while his preacher and others bad-mouthed the United States of America. Navy pilot John McCain spent five years being tortured in the Hanoi Hilton, and refused a chance to walk out ahead of fellow POWs with more seniority.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Blah blah blah. It’s all kinda stupid. But where is the good stuff?
I am sooo glad you asked:
I came from Cuba as a young kid to the greatest country in the world. [...] My vocation to write [wtf?] made me a reporter at the Washington Post then USA Today. Tired of writing just the facts, and prefering to make up my own, I became a fiction writer-screenwriter in the fictional epicenter of America, Los Angeles, CA. Though a serious "artist", I’ve had three "B" movies produced, one of which, "Electra", numbers 33d in Maxim magazine’s list of "The 50 Coolest ‘B’ Films of All Time. While I’ve been involved with several amazing women, I’m still single, having decided to postpone marriage until I either made the Hollywood "A" List or the New York Times Bestseller List.
If you are not familair with Mr. Aguilar’s oeuvre, well it’s coming to a multi-plex backroom at a seedy DVD store near you.
This Outstanding New Movie, Vampire Winter has a Sexy twist to the Vampire style movies you have seen in the past! This movie was written by a tremendously talented writer and director, Lou Aguilar. The wardrobe courtesy of HollywoodSensual
( http://www.hollywoodsensual.com ) is not only lingerie, but sexy fetish, leather wear and leather boots that will knock your socks off! The actresses couldn’t be sexier in the lingerie, leather wear and sexy leather boots, and will raise your blood pressure like no other vampire movie you have ever seen! The actresses are stunningly sexy and the actors are extremely handsome. This is a Must see movie that will be coming soon, stay tuned. Check out the extremely sexy lingerie, leather wear and boots worn by the actresses in the movie, as they are certain to be, need to have items! The prices are outrageously low, and can be found at http://www.hollywoodsensual.com
What a Great job by all the production team and actresses/actors, and especially Great Writing and Direction by Lou Aguilar!!
This, no doubt, brings a degree of sexual tension to NRO that we haven’t seen since the mailroom kid delivered Rich Lowry’s copy of Maxim (The Naughty Catholic Girls issue) to K-Lo by mistake.
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Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m almost never at a loss for words. Republican vampires in fetish underwear,however, have left me speechless. And creeped out. I’m going to go and bathe in brain bleach now…
Huh…sounds like Sisters of Sin (aka Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin) isn’t so hot:
Plot involves some lesbians…if they even are that they seem to like the penis alot..and a monk..and some other stupid garbage involving demons and blood sucking and rhinestones and incredibly horrible computer generated effects…Lloyd Kaufman doesnt use computer effects in any of his movies and they all look fantastic ..these effects look like bottom barrel college student experimentations…I want to wash my eyes out..avoid Troma junkies..avoid
1/10 and only a 1 for at least the bare breast….This is the only Troma movie currently in my collection I’d demand my money back for (except maybe “Girl School Screamers”)
Raise your blood pressure? Is that why vampires wear sexy leather lingerie? And here I thought it was all about the style.
aimai
Why doesn’t this surprise me? Let me think. Sleazy bloodsuckers, yeah that pretty much describes the conservative movement (I vote Bloody Billy for Nosferatu).
Hey…here’s a preview for another one of Lou Aguilar’s epics;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRGoSYcSpT0
and even an interview!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjhkQm5jvNE
“I decided to stop reporting the facts and start making them up”
Sounds like he’d fit right in at NRO.
It’s that fuckin’ Anne Rice, she’s sucking all the
oxygenblood out of the Vampire market. Matrimony may be along way off.I guess it’s kinda like shotgunning a beer.
sexy fetish, leather wear and leather boots that will knock your socks off!
Leave it to a wingtard to make vampiric leather fetish scenes sound dorky.
Must these bastards destroy everything they touch?
Yes.
I’m sorry, but the words sexual and K-Lo must never be mentioned in the same sentence. Thank you.
Tbogg, you should do a photo essay of the NRO staff, the most unattractive editorial lineup in history. The photos are out there – that pic of “Derb” which looks like a mugshot, all greasy hair and bad teeth, ol’ unibrow herself, K-Lo, the Doughy Pantsload looking all fat and disheveled, and, for old times sake, the infamous picture of the Pod in a swimming pool wearing an alpaca sweater. I would do it myself on my own blog but I’m too lazy to google the images.
Speaking of blogs, on this one, why, when you log in, does it take you to your profile page instead of to the site? And then it DOESN’T even allow you to update your profile info anyway. WTF.
“I’m still single, having decided to postpone marriage until I either made the Hollywood “A” List or the New York Times Bestseller List.”
Somebody should tell the guy it’s legal now in California, you know.
Forget the sexy lingerie and leather fetish-wear. I’m sure that, like me, most red-blooded Murkins just wanna know how the chick in the picture dislocates her left a**-cheek!
If that’s a chick, she must have a hella grip – the muscles in “her” forearms put Anne Coulter’s adam’s apple to shame.
But he’s a director now. That’s so much bigger than just writer, especially when you suck at it. Maybe giving himself the ”B” grade was a bit generous too. Electra was an embarrassment.
What is it with Republicans and porn? Phil Gramm contributed financing to porn movies and now Lou Aguilar gets space in NR. Then there’s the all the loose change that the Mittster picked up from piping pay-per-wank porn into the rooms of his hotels. Oh, I know; they don’t like porn – they just like making money off of it. That’s an ass of a different color.
Ewwwwww.
I hit the link. I thought it would never go away.
(I wonder if I can drag my computer screen over to the shower..)
Sorry Dr. Dick. Michael Chertoff has been given the Nosferatu part.
But fear not! Bloody Billy will be playing the part of Renfield.
His ability to devour living insects while maintaining a demonic grin on his face was Oscar worthy.
You are a natural casting director.
And, lest we forget, “The Starr Report”–the $58+ million political porn thriller, written by attotrneys and published by the GPO–that was lambasted by the Dems as a waste of taxpayers’ money…until someone pointed out that it actually generated a profit. That’s a lot of jerking-off in the Congressional men’s rooms!
It’s a man, baby!
the mad digger from FDL has struck
Shit. Now I’m confused. I thought Bobby Novak was the head vampire. When you “do the google” with the words Novak and vampire, it pulls up 667,000 hits.
Hmmm…