As a San Diegan I am all too used to the ramblings of Elaine Donnelly from the Center for Military Readiness. Following the Tailhook scandal, Donnelly was the female face the Union-Tribune editorial board turned to whose job it was to pooh-pooh it all away as an attempt by raging feminists intent upon sapping and impurifying our military’s precious bodily fluids.
Today Donnelly shot herself in the face more times than Dick Cheney hunting in a house of mirrors, as she took the House Armed Services personnel subcommittee down the rabbit hole.
It wasn’t pretty:
Holding the first hearing in 15 years on the "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy, lawmakers invited a quartet of veterans to testify on the subject and also extended an invitation to Donnelly, who has been working for years to protect our fighting forces from the malign influence of women.
Donnelly treated the panel to an extraordinary exhibition of rage. She warned of "transgenders in the military." She warned that lesbians would take pictures of people in the shower. She spoke ominously of gays spreading "HIV positivity" through the ranks.
"We’re talking about real consequences for real people," Donnelly proclaimed. Her written statement added warnings about "inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community," the prospects of "forcible sodomy" and "exotic forms of sexual expression," and the case of "a group of black lesbians who decided to gang-assault" a fellow soldier.
At the witness table with Donnelly, retired Navy Capt. Joan Darrah, a lesbian, rolled her eyes in disbelief. Retired Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, a gay man who was wounded in Iraq, looked as if he would explode.
[...]
Rep. Vic Snyder (D-Ark.) labeled her statement "just bonkers" and "dumb," and he called her claims about an HIV menace "inappropriate." Said Snyder: "By this analysis . . . we ought to recruit only lesbians for the military, because they have the lowest incidence of HIV in the country."
Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-Pa.), a veteran of the war in Iraq, called Donnelly’s words "an insult to me and many of the soldiers" by saying they "aren’t professional enough to serve openly with gay troops while successfully completing their military mission."
Retorted Donnelly: "What would you say to Cynthia Yost, the woman on a training exercise assaulted by a group of lesbians?"
[...]
Donnelly returned to the case of "Cynthia Yost . . . assaulted by a group of lesbians." She neglected to mention that the incident was alleged to have occurred in 1974.
[...]
Then came Donnelly, severe in a black jacket with a flag pin on her lapel as she attacked the "San Francisco left who want to impose their agenda on the military." She spoke of the "devastating" effect gay soldiers would have on the military and said "people who do have religious convictions" would be driven out of the military by the "sexualized atmosphere."
[...]
…it was Donnelly, founder and president of the Center for Military Readiness, who amused lawmakers the most. Snyder asked Darrah about Donnelly’s reference to "passive-aggressive actions common in the homosexual community," saying, "I’m almost tempted to ask you to demonstrate."
I’ll stop right here to mention that it was probably at this moment when Donnelly’s sphincter clenched so tight she could have crushed a diamond.
Darrah was stumped. "Like a woman who is stared at, her breasts are stared at," Donnelly explained.
I guess that’s how lesbian eye babies are made.
I think we can add Donnelly to the long list of conservatives in the dock (including Lurita "Cookies" Doan, Alberto "Total Recall" Gonzales, Bradley "Funny Voice" Schlozman, and Monica "Jesus Idiot Barbie" Goodling) who have made the last seven years such an Alice in Wonderland experience for us all.
Alice: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
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Oooh! Ms. Donnelly looks like she’s had some major work done since her last public appearance. If her face was stretched any tighter, her eyebrows could fill in her receding hairline…. But I digress.
Years ago I got into this sort of argument with a classmate at college after a certain Rear Adm. Ret. (–And they say irony is Dead!–) publicly expressed his fears that gays in the military would boff our boys in the showers.
I pointed to a rather plain girl jogging on the other side of the street. “Do you feel the need to rush right over and rape THAT girl?” I asked.
“Her?!” He recoiled at the very idea.
“Then what makes you think a gay guy would want to boink YOUR sorry ass if you bent over to pick up a bar of soap in the shower?”
The subject never came up again.
It goes without saying, but Elaine Donnelly never actually served in the military in any capacity. Are we surprised?
Some people may dismiss her rage as the nonsensical ravings of a diseased mind. And it’s easy to see why.
However, I choose to be happy that Frau Farbissina has found work after her association with Dr. Evil…
Perhaps she mistook this Monty Python routine as a documentary?
Oh, my. Pope forgot about the crazy people didn’t he?
Yikes. She makes Jane Hathaway look ravishing . . . .
Ruthie @ 1 has it right, but “Ms” Donnelly would get the wrong answer. If the suggested perp was a strapping jock, she would agree that only iron self-control was preventing him from having his way with her. If he wasn’t to her taste, he must be gay
What a nasty way of being in the world. I mean, look at her; she couldn’t even unpurse her lips long enough for the publicity shot.
Think about it: that is the most pleasant facial expression the photographer could coax out of the woman.
I hear she was a necrophiliac until some rotten guy split on her.
EWWWW
Honestly, the right wingers scare me. They seem to regard sex as some sort of involuntary muscular reaction that cannot be controlled by the human mind. Do they all go through life immediately humping every attractive human being they encounter? Why do they not have the slightest understanding of the concept of consent?
After that, she dated a leper, but the relationship fell apart when he went all to pieces on her…
Let’s review.
Conservatives believe that responsible, adult gay people are completely unable to control their sexual impulses.
Conservatives believe that immature, straight teenagers should be expected to control their sexual impulses.
Is it any wonder the newspapers are so full of conservatives embroiled in sex scandals? They seem to understand nothing about how it works.
That, folks, is industrial strength, sucking-on-car-batteries Bitter.
At the same time, I find it inspiring that being a complete, raving, fucktard doesn’t force one to stay locked away and out of sight.
So this is the face of today’s right-wing bigots, in front of a congressional subcomittee, for all to see. And the conservatives harumph in confusion as to why, in the year 2008, no one “gets” their message, or, for that matter, really likes them. The under-30 crowd (of which I am unfortunately not one) stares at these people with eyebrows’ raised as if they were watching an old man in an open bathrobe wander around the local mall.
I would venture to guess that’s not the only experience she lacks.
I’m thinking someone could make a few bucks introducing a new exercise program based on Donnelly. No, not that — get your mind out of the gutter.
Here it is: every morning you spend five minutes trying to imagine what it’s like inside her head. The resulting muscle tone from every part of your body being so clenched would be fabulous. Of course, then you’d have to deal with the impending psychosis, but you’d look pretty good.
“At the witness table with Donnelly, retired Navy Capt. Joan Darrah, a lesbian, rolled her eyes in disbelief. Retired Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, a gay man who was wounded in Iraq, looked as if he would explode.”
I’m thinking it would have been more effective if Darrah and Alva had burst out laughing hysterically during her testimony. When they got the inevitable suckin-on-a-lemon dirty look, they could’ve responded “Oh, you’re serious? Sorry, continue….”, while they smirked, guffawed, chuckled and teeheed during the rest of her testimony.
If they couldn’t manage that, they should’ve beat the shit outta her.
“We’re talking about real consequences for real people,” Donnelly proclaimed.
Because, of course, gays aren’t real people so consequences to them are no big deal.
Bitch.
The poster child for “compassionate conservatism.”