It goes without saying that we all miss Satchmo terribly (and I promise I’ll get back to him later this week) but we need to get back to business. And, if you’re like me, nothing quite makes the sun come from out behind the clouds like making fun of stupid people.
I like to think of it as a simple old-fashioned virtue.
So let’s talk about the Twitiots.
As noted before, a group of socially maladjusted Republicans are holed in their chambers and are….well nobody really knows or cares what they’re planning to do but I bet it’s awesome. And who is cheering on these brave Republican patriots besides the pool boys, gardeners, UPS drivers , and cable men who are servicing the congressmen’s wives while the congressmen spend their days making Congressional Couch Forts of Freedom? Why, that would be the Twitidiots at #dontgo which is more than a internet site; it’s a movement that has clothes and stuff so it must be for reals.
And as #dontgoazoid Eric Odom points out:
The CNN story went live just after the site was opened up, and the story was followed by The Next Right, Red State, Politico, Michelle Malkin, HotAir, Washington Examiner, and scores of bloggers. This wave of attention sent more than 60,000 unique visits to our site within 24 hours.
Yesterday I spent hours and hours trying to answer email all day long, and the support we have received has been nothing short of encouraging in every way possible.
Now we have an e-mail list that is well over 10,000 strong, our e-mail RSS subscriber list is about 1,200 strong, and we have a Twitter army that simply has yet to be matched in size.
Of course as we have seen with other wingnut Potemkin sites like The Victory Caucus, that first flush of attention all to often tends to wane and flag like an unViagra’d Bob Dole dick.
That isn’t to say that #soontobeabandoned doesn’t have a smooth pitch:
That video (posted on YouTube since 8/9) has chalked up a whole…(carry the three…) 496 hits which is less than half the hits than the basset video from below which went up this afternoon.
I guess when they learned how to Twitter it forced the ability to use teh YouTube out of their brains. Technology can do that to people. No. Really. It can…
Two more things before I go. You can find works of genius here and here.




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Hence, the “don’tgo.” Probably unnecessary to implore them not to go, tho. These guys really should stop calling themselves an army of any kind.
Somewhere, Satchmo is oooooooooooooooorrrroooooooooing backup to Isaac Hayes, while Isaac makes fun of twittering idiots. Basset profundo!
The bassets could do a better job of squatting in Congress and doing nothing all day while making sounds of displeasure. Heck, I’ve got dust bunnies with greater potential than Republican asshats like their hero, Eric Cantor.
As long as the #dontgo braintrust is seeking their fame and fortune by “communicating directly with their representatives via Twitter” they’re not endangering themselves or others by, you know, operating motor vehicles or other heavy machinery…
Oh, and what was up with this little gem from the video: “This is especially good for conservatives — who, with the nomination of John McCain haven’t had a whole lot to unite behind.” Pray tell, is he dissin’ the GOP Man of the Century (the 20th century, but still…)? Why, the insolence of the little whippersnapper — I thought all good conservatives had been told to be a’twitter with love for Krusty McSame and his most excellent policies built on the three pillars of Dementia, Denial, and Depends™?
I’m sure the Elephant Man had thousands of visitors, but it didn’t mean he was Brad Pitt.
Well, the bassets are definitely smarter, better organized, more motivated, and better looking than these guys.
A few of us on Twitter used the tag to have a little fun. If you scroll back through their unfiltered feed you can see us insisting #dontgo means conservatives have vowed not to go to the bathroom until the coasts are opened up for drilling. Screenshot here.
Let us put men and bassets together
To see which one is smarter.
Some say the men, but I say “No!”
The bassets got the men like a puppeet show.
It ain’t me, it’s the people that say.
Men is leadin’ the bassets astray,
But I say, it’s the bassets today.
Smarter than the man in every way.
That’s right, the bassets are smarter!
That’s right, the bassets are smarter!
That’s right, the bassets are smarter!
Smarter than the man in every way.
(With apologies to Harry Belafonte.)
“A movement has been born”…I just edited the obvious toilet joke.
I have the greatest sympathy for actors and comedians who have been on stage for a stone flop. But in the case of teh stoopids dragging their flop on for days, I relish their failure. Astounding stupidity. Did I mention their stupidity?
Man, that guy is smoove! I found myself reaching for my wallet in spasmodic enthusiasm for his inbred visions!
It’s the underlying idiocy that gets to me. All the “drill now, harder, deeper!” hype is designed to make the average economic moron (you know, most undecided voters) think that if the oil is produced here, somehow it ONLY impacts U.S. gas prices. Funny how they don’t realize that it all goes into the global pricing mechanism, and it would take a new Saudi Arabia-sized oil field to have any appreciable impact on prices. Not even the oil industry thinks there is anything even close to a world class oil discovery in the areas they are jonesing for.
But the twits keep pounding their point, and the media keeps failing to point out the ol’ supply and demand aspect of pricing and the global market for oil. I guess we’re all supposed to believe that Exxon plans on selling U.S. offshore oil at below market to the U.S., just because they are such nice guys.
We have a twitter army
‘phones are the weapons we bring
we all love poverty, war and injustice
ready…aim…sing!
thanks, I’ll be here all week.
aimai
No one expects the Twitter Revolution! Our chief weapon is surprise…
My favorite line from teh awesome video.
Some say it’s a stunt. And it may be.
A twinkle of intellectual honesty, in the black hole that is today’s right wing.
Oh, and as a speechificator, I think Eric Odom (Top Twit?) challenges that Miss America contestant from South Carolina for top Orator of the Year.
Wait a minute… BREAKING….Hatmandu’s army of leftwing hippie spies have secured a secret video from the Twitter Training Facility. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
They’re now calling on people to drive to Washington (with gas at $4.50/gallon) to protest something about high gas prices. Yet, their call to arms is “#dontgo”? As the erudite Homer Simpson might have put it, “Doh! I knew we shouldn’t have called ourselves that!”
Keep on truckin’!
I think that Doug Feith’s “stupidest fucking guy on the planet” title is in serious trouble.
Speaking of Isaac Hayes…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..re=related
About halfway through this clip is Chef’s speech to Stan about why Kenny had to die.
RIP Chef and Satch.
Now it did occur to me that it might just be real unpleasant for a lot of these guys back home and what better way to avoid having to ’splain all the roadblocks they have been putting up for each and every motion before the house all year than to do something heh heh “noble”. Just too chicken to face the real music.
Oh, God…. Jon Stewart is getting comedic competition from this guy.
My first reaction was, “That clever TBogg, he made this up.” Then, I remembered some of the GOPer comments I’ve read elsewhere earlier today…