27 years – 1 wife and 2 kids. (Both delivered by a terrific lesbian doctor, btw) I wouldn’t have let K-Lo babysit my kids…who knows what strange things she might impart on children. What an idiot.

K-Lo doesn’t want to protect the institution of marriage – she wants to preserve HER IDEA of that institution. This is not the same thing, but her ilk never seem to get that point.

In return I will defer to her judgment in all things related to Duran Duran, which one of the Mitt spawn looks like he would be the “most gentle lover”, and how long you have to leave a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey out before it is liquefied enough to shotgun straight from the carton.

After 25 years and 10 days of marriage, all I can say is: WHOA! When did K-Lo ponder which one of the Mittspawn looked like he’d be the “most gentle lover?” Pleeeeeease let it be the gay one!

I simply cannot fathom the mind of a person who thinks that allowing companies to dump toxic sludge in the environment benefits humanity, but adults having committed, sanctioned gay sex in the next bedroom will destroy life as we know it.

And goshers, Andrew, she’s not talking about making you second-class citizens, just depriving you of rights that other people have. Why can’t you see the difference?!

tbogg…your eloquence never fails to delight!

Thirty-one years marriage, two successful kids, here. I have never understood how allowing gay marriage was supposed to “destroy” my hetero marriage. How does that work? A gay couple moves in next door, and I say, “Sorry, honey. I just saw George and Steve out mowing the lawn, and I’m afraid it’s over between us.”

These people don’t really care for marriage. If traditional marriage is not given all the privileges, subsidies and tax breaks then they assume nobody will bother.

It is creepy that such cynicism is the source of their sentimental self esteem, but there you go. Conservatism, as practiced by Cornerites, is some sort of personality disorder or moral sickness.

Under other circumstances, making fun of somebody as sad as K-Lo would strike me as grossly unfair. But she is a huge exception. Criticism of her idiocy, no matter how it is phrased, becomes a stirring act of patriotism.

Carry on, Tom B., you’re doing god’s work…

BTW, I know it’s sappy, but Satchmo’s departure makes me think of this…

As a thrice divorced heterosexual, I demand to be recognized as a greater threat to the institution of marriage than all the homosexuals in the world. Then you have Liz Taylor, Andy Rooney, Newt Gingrich and the real heavy hitters. Poor gays do not have a chance in this contest.

I too divorced once, but as a DFH, what can you expect? The second chance is working so well though I think I’ll give it at least another decade.

clap clap clappity clap

But marriage between man and woman, raising children is at the heart of civilization.

does that mean all monogamous species, or even species where the father sticks around until the kids are big enough, are civilized ?

K-Lo, here’s a little courtin’ advice for finding Mr. “Far” Right. When you find yourself an hour into your first dinner date at Applebee’s having already ploughed through two bottles of sauvignon blanc, talking loud, and spewing masticated bits of foccacia bread and olives all over him and neighboring tables, this may be the reason when you try his cell phone the next day he has changed service providers.

BTW, I vote the last sentence of this post (chunky monkey, etc) as Tbogg’s funniest of 2008 (so far).

K-Lo shot-gunning Ben & Jerrys; now that’s an image I could have done without, thank you.

As always, look at Canada. Their civilization ended a few years ago when same sex marriage was approved. And now their land is a smoldering ruin.

…er…any day now.

This is a second marriage for both my husband and I, but it’s been 29+ years of wedded bliss this time around.

Just the other night we had our daughter and son-in-law over for dinner and I said, “Can somebody tell me how this is supposed to work — where do we go to file for divorce? Isn’t there some new law that says I have to marry a lesbian now?”

The daughter, happily married for 11 years herself, replied, “Well if that’s so, let’s all go early so we can get a cute one before they’re all taken.”

Because if K-Lo was all that’s left, we’d have to kill ourselves.

As a never-have-been-never-will-be-married man, I wish all those gay guys with their super hot hetero girlfriends would stop inviting me out for social occasions.

I mean, if I wanted to meet smart, witty, beautiful, well-rounded women I’d do it the old fashioned way and have her daddy sign over her virginity to me in a grossly overdone, vapid ceremony filled with the angst of consumerism battling feelings of anxiety matched only by the hysterics of loony Aunt Kathy in the back corner loudly expounding on the merits of holy matrimony while gulping down manhattans with Cristal chasers.

Hell, the last marriage I attended was a same-sex ceremony and my eyes didn’t fall outta me head, the sun didn’t burst, the oceans didn’t dry up and I wasn’t smited immediately by jesus, or god, or Kathy Griffin.

Aw jeez, I have have only been married to the same wonderful woman for 31 years and 160-something days and all we did together was raise our autistic son, and earn a couple of degrees.
We cringe in fear, shades drawn, lights out,lest some gay couple assail our relationship with their gayness. I know that fear because I spent years working eighty-four hours a week in machine shop to pay off our son’s health care providers (Free market solution for autism: drop dead) so I completely understand that a marriage between a couple with matching genitalia is a far worse threat to marriage than financial insecurity or unrealistic expectations.

That’s it. You straight married couples keep listing yourselves here. The gay Marriage Mafia will get around to destroying your traditional families eventually. Please be patient, it’s a very long list as straight married couples seem to flaunt their relationships whenever they get the chance.

26+ years for us.

DrDick, think you meant Mickey Rooney?

27 years, here. And, I am totally rethinking whether I made the right choice for the SECOND time. However, I will happily swear that these musings have nothing to do with whether two chicks or two guys wed. And, I will tell you that, if some immense, great power granted me a divorce today, I would marry another woman again in a minute.

I will not blame my mistakes on someone else. How ya doing, there, K-Lo?

Dang. Me and my boyfriend thought that bringing down civilization would be a pretty easy job. Two men loving each other and living together is how it’s done, or so I was told at Homintern training camp. Oh, and regular fucking like crazy, that’s the standard technique. I thought 5 to 7 years would do the trick, but here it’s been 32 and the cities still aren’t burning.

Damn, but you guys are a tough nut to crack.

How dare you say that Kathryn Lopez would shotgun Ben and Jerry’s ice cream! She’s a Wells Blue Bunny fan all the way.

Homintern training camp

Bravo! Well done.

Keep on keeping on though – I expect my twenty-five year, 200-odd day stint to collapse any day now.

Former friend of my wife’s–divorced, bitter, broken picker–loves to give unwanted relationship advice. I’ve referred to her as the bald barber, as in, never get your hair cut by one.

K-Lo? You’re the bald barber.

(Short timer–three weeks shy of 17 years)

I still desperately want to make sweet sweet love to K-Lo’s carcass. I will even lick the Ho-Ho’s crumbs from out of her cavernous belly button.

I’m serious. I want some KY and some K-Lo.

So, how can K-Lobotomy claim she doesn’t want gays stigmatized and without legal rights when gays threaten the heart of civilization (marriage and kids)?

Sorry, but you can’t have it both ways.

Can’t say it any simpler:
Don’t like same sex marriages? Fine. Don’t have one.