The McCain Mobile*

Zero to 60 in 7.2

minutes.

*Sponsored by Rhoid’s “Hemi-Helpers” stool softener and laxative, in a delicious citrus flavored, smooth textured drink

Shorter: “A noun, a verb, a POW…”*

*cribbed from Vice President Hanes

And a zillion other noun/verb/pow cracks all over the internet these days…I googled it after I “thought it up”…hey, if it weren’t for obvious snark I wouldn’t have a shot…

TBogg:

Sen. Norm Coleman, R-Minn.(Sent wife to California to be an “actress” so he could stay home and fuck other women

)

That would apply to Rudy, just as well.

Or Jack Ryan, if you change it to: Brought actress wife home from California so he could take her out to Chicago sex clubs and watch her fuck other men – which his wife declined.

What is it with Republicans, Hollywood, and adultery? Is it just the Reagan worship? Or is it something darker, something Freudian?

.

A noun, a verb, a POW, Panama!

hmmm.. guess it’s a palindrome.

guess it’s NOT a palindrome.

TBogg- I hate when you pull your punches. If only this could be slipped into the official program……

OT:

Hillary to PUMAs: Shut The Fuck Up

http://www.politico.com/blogs/…..tests.html

This convention brought to you in part by Tucks Medicated Pads.

Be sure to sample the high-fiber muffins left by the reps from Metamucil.

Hey stick around! After the speech, we’ll break out the Chubber Checker records!

I must bow to your greatness; I have nothing I could possibly add to such top quality snark. You, sir, are a national treasure.

Of course, the big question is: what will be this convention’s hot accessory? In ‘04, it was band-aids with purple hearts drawn on them. For a while, I thought it would be tire pressure gauges, but that’s not funny anymore (as if it ever were…)

My guess: vintage Sambo’s menus…

You mean this isn’t the official program?

My guess is that she did it once or twice to please him, then got feed up once he started demanding it more. Kinda weird for a high profile couple though. If they did it in Hollywood, no one would bat an eye lash. Jack Ryan didn’t do that. I don’t know who is the bigger tool. Him or Alan Keyes.

Larry Craig won’t be speaking?

*cancels plane tickets*

Nope. Larry won’t be able to speak. He’ll have his mouth full in the men’s restroom…

*******************************
During Normie’s first camapign, he had his wife & kids fly in to Minnesota just to make a campaign commercial. There was a shot of the “family” sitting on the front steps of a local house.

I didn’t think it could go downhill after Tom Ridge. But, it does. Who are those people? Aren’t there any Repubs that people have heard of? Oh yeah, they’re all trying to deny any connection to Bush, and probably McCain as well.

I am looking forward to Cindy’s speech, though.

I look forward to Rudy reprising his line from his ’04 speech about how on 9/11 he ”turned to Bernie Kerik and said ’Thank God George Bush is our President.’” A laugh a minute, that Rudy!

I also look forward to Corinne Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Boggs Roberts harrumphing that they should have chosen the Mayor of Myrtle Beach instead of the Governor of Hawaii.

It is mine..

It’ll be a comedy-snoozefest. The most important election of our time and the major media networks are going to cut back on their broadcasts? I suppose a 1 share for the Republicans would be hard to explain to the stockholders and they do need to be fair and balanced in their coverage.

I am looking forward to Cindy’s speech, though.

I hear the brownies at the reception are Kosher, dietetic, and laced with Marinol(R) courtesy of Hadassah’s friends. And of course there will be free beer!

BYOKY.

Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you said gnocci. On second thought, I’ll have the salisbury steak.

Meg Whitman, Ebay CEO (Beanie baby entrepreneur enabler)

Is she there to say ‘what about all the people making a living selling shit on eBay?’

Former CA Secretary of State Rosario Marin

Huh? Says who?

Former US Treasurer (she signed some of my money) and current CA Sec of Consumer Affairs (rutting couple in aisle three!) but never SecState.

With respect, I think Gov Palin is technically a GILF, in addition to being a MILF.

In the Blowing My Own Horn category (and let me tell you, you better be pretty fucking limber to even try that), my report on and description of Rudy at the Giants-Marlins game in San Francisco Tuesday night got printed in today’s SF Chronicle.

Scroll down to the second item and marvel at my mild reproach of Mr. Fucking 9/11.

Hmm. Lieberman uses his spot to announce that McCain’s choice for VP is… Dick Cheney!

Depending on how the delegates react (they won’t be too abusive, because Cheney will be right there on the stage with his favorite shotgun), Ahhhnie either announces that Holy Joe is such a kidder, or he is thrilled, thrilled to welcome A Great Amurkin Patriot to his third term of g.a. patriotic-ness!!!!

Either way, the C-Plus Augustus staggers to the podium in a rain of red&white&blue f/x… and discovers that his microphone has been disabled. His timeslot is filled with a widescreen panorama of Reaganesque schmaltz, set to a medley of Kate Smith / Toby Keith songs. If the drugs don’t kick in fast enough, his Secret Service detail has been instructed to wrestle him to the ground and yell ’sniper’.

Gov. Linda Lingle of Hawaii is not only “Exotic Ethnic” for being from that foreign state, she is also Jewish!

Is this the first political convention to be addressed by the governors of both Alaska and Hawaii (which are, according to the Simpsons, the “freak states”)?

Fascinating that there are so many former politicians on the roster.

President Bush and First Lady Laura Bush (Drunk/enabler or enabler/drunk. Choose one. Or both.)

Oh my G-d! They’re enabling each other’s drinking!!!