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What little I saw at the Palinolution:
No wonder they’re cool with eighty-seven year-old former prisoner of war John McCain as President for the brief fourteen moths he has left on God’s Green Earth before a renegade freckle goes Judas on him and drops him like a fainting goat that will never ever get up. He was, like, the youngest person there, besides that snowbilly family they found wandering around the Mall of America looking for the fried sugar stand.
Sarah Palin was smug, mean-spirited, and small-town nasty which should help shore up the evangelical base. Like Maud Flanders, those trips to Bible camp to learn to be more judgmental have really paid off ….
I tuned in late. Did Silent Todd get to introduce her? Like crushing a beercan against his forehead and belching out, "Get’er done."
At the end there they were passing around Baby Trig like he was a prize ham. What? Does he weigh as much as Ross Douthat’s head?
Cowboy Troy? Cowboy Troy? What the fuck is wrong with country western fans? I mean besides the fact that they like country western music…
But to really understand what happened tonight, we must turn to that alternate universe knows as
The Corner:Palin & the Teleprompter [Rich Lowry]
I’m told by a McCain aide that the teleprompter operator mistakenly rolled through the applause lines throughout the speech. So he rolled over the first two lines of the next paragraph after applause. But she was unfazed by it.
Omifuckingawd! We should, like, totally make her president right now.
Jay Nordlinger makes the case for kids to drop out of school and spend their time fucking and popping out kids like a Pez dispenser:
One More Word Ere Jetting [Jay Nordlinger]
And let it be on Bristol and Levi. (For a previous post, go here.) So, she didn’t have to be alone — pregnant and unmarried — in that harsh, merciless media spotlight. She had her fiancé there, holding her hand. No shame, no agony, no hiding under a couch. And if Americans want to have a cow over that — let them.
If Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are the worst thing that ever happened to us, we have no problems at all.
Nordlinger also points out that Sarah Palin knows her audience:
10. When she told her lipstick joke, she pointed at her mouth, just perfectly.
Visual cues as well as speaking slowly, not making any sudden moves, and removing shiny jewelry are highly effective tools of communication when dealing with the one syllable crowd. Small slices of banana or Cheerios can also be used as "rewards" or "mollifiers".
And tomorrow night, in an exquisite demonstration of political timing, John McCain (should he live through the night and his nap tomorrow) will accept the nomination for the Leisure World Party while most of America will be watching the Giants and the Redskins. This may be the first smart thing his campaign has managed to schedule. Besides, who needs those Washington and New York elitists when you’ve got the Sarahcuda pitching her wares to inbred America…
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My take-
So let’s get this straight.
When 3 white supremacists are arrested with high powered rifles after bragging that they wanted to kill Barack Obama it’s just a minor meth bust because there threats were merely “aspirational“.
On the other hand, protest at the Republican National Convention and you’re a “terrorist“.
If you had the good fortune not to watch the convention tonight you missed an extremely white display of blind hatred, naked greed, and willful ignorance.
And that’s what blows my mind. How these people take what is bad, twisted, and shameful about human nature and celebrate it.
They are Cthulhu worshippers-
At the proper time, the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth….
Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and reveling in joy.
Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom.
As you may know by now, I’m not a kumbaya type and I’m telling you that in a just world these people would not only be out of power, their party as dead as the Whigs, Federalists, Know-nothings, and Anti-Masons; they would be locked up as punishment for their crimes and to prevent any further damage to society.
Hate ‘em? The fires of hell are like glaciers.
Oh Mr. Bogg, Professor Bogg, Dr. Bogg, however you prefer to be addressed…
This night, she is not good to me. Many of the Leftish Bloggers are wringing their hands and rending their garments. The Republican Party of America, AP, and EmmEssEmm (whatev, same diff) are swooning, absolutely swooning. Imagine: an Unknown! From Alaska! And–yes–a woman/lady! She spoke enthusiastically from a teleprompter after at least 4 days of boot-camp rehearsal! Did anybody know any of these things were POSSIBLE??!? Her words! Never slurred! Every syllable…. (taking a breath)… pronounced! And those eyes! And that smile!
Since this campaign began in earnest (let’s say sometime in 2007, although my wife thinks it dates back to 1999) I have sworn–at least twice–that I was never going to drink again. And here I am.
And I plead: Will everyone (and this includes YOU Hilzoy) please sober up? A pretty female politician who loves to be on TeeVee spoke–with unctuous spunk and perkiness–into the camera. The clock is ticking on when she will be interviewed by…anyone, much less anyone credible, much less holding, say, a news conference. Karl Rove thinks he can trot her out as political theatre during the RNC and then hide her in basement during the campaign like Prince Ruprecht?
Let us keep our wits about us, shall we? (I keep asking this of myself; in fact, I have it tattooed on my wrist.) This is not the rebirth of Ronald Reagan. This is Jimmy Swaggart in high heels. This is an Assembly-of-God Mayberry-of-Alaska theocrat who has been profoundly, profoundly reckless about every decision she has made since her assumption of elective office. These rats, yes, will not fuck themselves. BUT, it must be said, they are coming awful goddamned close. Asymptotic rodentia autoerotica.
So… Nice speech, Madame Governor. John McCain gives you some very grateful (and, yeah, helpless, sickening, and pathetic) sugar.
But a well-worn path is being beaten from the “Media Centers” in the lower 48 to your Breakaway-Republic-of-Alaska. The Christianists love you so much they had to change underwear at least twice tonight for reasons both erotic and scatological. BUT America finds you and your dysfunctional brood rather odd. Facts are continuing to dribble out. Your mediocrity is not invisible to people who, say, really give a shit whether they will have health insurance in a few years. Letting yourself become a captive of the insular “reality” of McCain’s handlers and Fox News is not a winning strategy.
Cowboy Troy is Dread Zeppelin for the country crowd.
Once again, I’m baffled by religious politicians who seem full of hate and dishonesty.
After listening to her speech, I just think, “Lies, the other red meat.”
I have heard that broken teleprompter line way too many times much too quickly for it to be true.
It’s sad they feel pointing that out is gonna get Mensa to just give her the logoed pocket protector and forgo the test.
“Get’er done.”
That would be: “Git’er dun”.
Fergawdsakes tbogg, you’re such an elitist.
If Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are the worst thing that ever happened to us, we have no problems at all.
This from the same crowd who spent years trying to convince us a blowjob was a major international incident.
-Samuel Johnson
We were too busy watching “America’s Next Top Model” and the U.S. Open to tune in to the hatefest. Priorities ya know.
I was so grateful that they remembered to pick up Trygve from where he’d been left on the big pile of winter coats next to the North Dakota delegation.
Actually, Mr.t, I think McCain and his right-wing bosses did the Dems a hufe favor. Read More. http://www.tagg-lines.com/2008…..e-our.html
That’s huge…not hufe..oooph
@Lori: Git’r dun! Git it raht, ferchrissakes!
The first three minutes were moderately interesting. After that it devolved into a bunch of smirking and derision. Is she running for Vice-President, or Class President? In any case, as pleased as I might be to have a woman running for high office, color me unimpressed with the petty, small-minded woman they chose.
She came across to me as a vicious harpy, that would grind her kids into the moose meat for a chance at the prize. This is a second crack the beauty contest that she wasn’t good enough to win. That party is topped by some serious head cases. Color me ex-pat if they pull this off.
So, just so that my tiny lady brain fully understands: it’s okay for HER to lie and smear and be negative, ’cause she’s a woman? Oh–and a Christian. So it’s GOD’S will that she’s a lying hypocrite.
Think of one of the Bush administrations worst hires — say, Monica Goodling. Then subtract credentials and education.
Have to say (and I grew up among them in hillbilly, redneck eastern Oklahoma) that Palin’s target audience is more the grunt and snort crowd than the monosyllabic folks. Not nearly so evolved or rational.
Who is Cowboy Troy? He is a mix of country and rap that he calls “Hick Hop.”
Check it out.
Click the link, you know you wanna…
Pardon my Scotch, but what the fuck is a Cowboy Troy? Oh, I see the link. That really doesn’t help. It just doesn’t make sense, much like the rest of the sad proceedings there in the Larry Craig Memorial Tearoom. If they can hang on and just ignore Fredo for two more months, they can change the national anthem to “la-la-la I can’t HEEEAR you!!1!1“. As with the current anthem, it’s the high note at the end that throws most folks.
Still, it was probably good times for the delusional Cocoon crowd. It always is.
Oh man, that’s good enough for them to use.
What, are you like in marketing or something?
Hick Hop! Thanks markedHoosier.
Label this “analyses” in the Ron Fournier manner: If McCain abuses Cindy and gets hen-pecked by Sarahcuda will he then, finally, get the PUMA votes?
Dale
Too bad she never taught little Bristol to point similarly.
tbogg said: At the end there they were passing around Baby Trig like he was a prize ham.
Because he was making a McCain in his diaper.
Hooooly Cow!
Todd and Sarah Palin were in an animated series back in the 90’s! Did anybody know this?
http://www.mtv.com/onair/beavi…../todd7.jpg
The representations are eerily good…
So can someone explain to me why non-candidate Michelle Obama’s list of things she “had to do” in her convention speech was about two miles long, and the list of requirements for complete-unknown would-be vice-president apparently consisted of “don’t wear a gingham dress, shout ‘Yee-Haw!’ and fire several shotgun shells into the ceiling”?
Besides IOKIYAR, I mean?
I getting to a place where snark and satire won’t cure my nausea.
Shorter McCain: ”I’m going to change the ”constant partisan rancor” in Washington with my running mate, the ”pitbull with lipstick” attack dog, unlike my uppity (negro), elitist opponent.”