Gosh. Had no idea that wingnuts had such fertile imaginations. Actually had no idea they had imaginations at all as that seemed a higher order mental function than they are capable of. Hate to disillusion them, but some progressives actually own guns. Big guns. See ya around boy when you finally decide to get real stupid.

Comparing those to Penthouse Forum is an insult to generations of writers who honed their craft detailing their sexual exploits in unbelievably graphic detail. Or is that “graphically unbelievable detail”?

Making an M with your fingers? Um yeah. If I were going to make a gesture symbolic of McCain, it would be shaking my fist at a cloud. Or checking out Sarah Palin’s ass.

Jeffrey Gates is a Gavin quality storyteller.

Then Jeff woke up and realized that he had another nocturnal emission.

Seriously, this story’s been told a thousand times by a thousand different wingnuts. Has it reached “old wive’s tale” status yet?

For the last couple of years I’ve responded to Bush 04 bumper stickers by pointing and laughing hysterically.

Ah, but notice he never denied that he and people like him are ruining this country.

Somebody’s been practicing script writing. Which character will be named Moses?

No making the ‘M’ while flipping him off and controlling a car thats tailgating a hostile. Who is she Doc Ock??

We just roll our eyes and move on.

I must travel in the wrong circles. I’ve never met an “extreme liberal” who had such violent tendencies. Really, when I’m going to Whole Foods in my Prius and I see a big old pick-up truck with wingnut bumper stickers I just feel sorry for them because they’re probably constipated and dyspeptic.

And, if I actually came face to face with one of them, I sure wouldn’t be yelling or gesturing at them, because I’d assume they have “Glock fantasies” that they’re dying to try out.

Besides, I don’t think I can drive while making an “M” with my fingers. WTF?

I must say, the quality of the drooling coming from the Dirty Harry Wannabe section of Colney Hatch certainly has dropped off.

On the plus side, at least McCain’s name is only McCain. Imagine the contortions if we had to deal with an opponent named von du Zweitlichst.

When I first heard this story, nearly 8 years ago (could this be the same poor, unlucky Conservative motorist?), it was a “W” and not an “M.” (Wow, how convenient is that? New candidate, but liberals only have to turn their hand upside down to continue terrorizing innocent wingers). W is much easier to make, really, when you think about it. If I saw someone making an M in my rear-view window, I might be tempted to think they were doing the eensy-weensy spider or something.

Poor, sad little wingers. Even their paranoia lacks creativity and imagination.

I promptly introduced him to my Glock 27’s gaping bore.

Sounds like the sort of wingnut who has introduced many people to his “Glock” in the bathrooms at gun shows.

maybe it’s because the hub and I are in the middle of the Band of Brothers series, but all these stories about the dweaded “weft-wing-woad-wage” weminds me of this exchange:

Ronald Spiers: Well, I’d better get back to Battalion before they disappear. You want to ask me, don’t you?

Carwood Lipton: Ask you what, sir?

Ronald Spiers: You want to know if they’re true or not… the stories about me. Did you ever notice with stories like that, everyone says they heard it from someone who was there. But then when you ask *that* person, they say *they* heard it from someone who was there. It’s nothing new, really. I bet if you went back two thousand years, you’d hear a couple of centurions standing around, yakking about how Tertius lopped off the heads of some Carthaginian prisoners.

Carwood Lipton: Well, maybe they kept talking about it because they never heard Tertius deny it.

Ronald Spiers: Well, maybe that’s because Tertius knew there was some value to the men thinking he was the meanest, toughest son of a bitch in the whole Roman Legion.

I’m sorry I even clicked on that link with the tall tale about a Glock. It just depresses me to see how many morons there are out there. The comments for that post were just unbelievable.

Speaking of bored cons with boring lives working themselves into a lather, old Van der Loon has hinted he might hurt Jill Greenberg for her photographs of John McCain. Him and a bunch of other right wing hosers and concern trolls – authorities on civilized behaviour don’t you know? – are vomiting their vitriol on this thread.

I’d say they are suffering from a little more than road rage but it’s nothing out of the ordinary for them.

Her photos: http://www.manipulator.com/
click names and select John McCain.

Hunh. I spend up to a couple hours a day on most school days on the roads around deepest, darkest Washington, D.C., where people have–shall we say?–strong opinions about the upcoming race. The back of my van makes my preferences clear. (No, not McHim. Duh!) I try for stickers that are direct and literate, even funny.

So what happens? EVERY time I’m out, people wave, show the peace sign or a thumbs-up, toot their horns at me, and smile. There’ve been brief, delightful exchanges through the windows at long red lights. I’ve had lively conversations in parking lots, virtually always pleasant even with people who are startled and don’t agree with me. There may have been some “click!” moments to GOPers who murmured, “Gee, I never thought of that.” There have been you-go-yay notes slipped under my windshield wiper. (The best? A toss-up between a love note to my stickers signed, “The Little Red Car,” and a dollar bill upon which someone without scratch paper had thickly, furiously penciled, “IMPEACH THEM!”)

But I have never seen anything like what this fantasist wrote. Closest–and it’s not close–are carloads of young men who point at my car, poke their buddies, and guffaw in a manner that I find painfully boyish and, dare I say, a bit ignorant. This group-guy behavior is a far cry from trucks packed with woman-appreciating Hispanic men who notice my “Si Se Puede” sticker and all give big grins to the blonde lady que habla Espanol.

And I’ve never seen anyone anywhere pester a driver with a McCain sticker. Even though my travels take me through northern Virginia, I’ve seen surprisingly few of them. Usually they appear as just one McCain sticker on a late-model car. The oval W 04 stickers appear on cars that are more weathered, and not “updated” with McCain.

The only one discomfited by my stickers is my oldest son, already a journalist, who uses my car whenever he’s around. He worried that my stickers might give the appearance of clouding his “reportorial objectivity”; I replied that he should simply tell anyone who might say so (to date, nobody has) that his mother’s a wee bit opinionated. Then I offered to give him a bottle of Goo-Gone and a scraper and let him take them all off. He hastily declined. (The Biscuitbarrel men are not partial to manual labor.)

Just a driver’s observation from the belly of the beast…

Well, I have to admit that my nine year old spotted a mccain sticker on a car and demanded, angrily, that I honk at them (also angrily). I must further stipulate that I did, in fact, say to her “never interact with a republican unless you are armed.” I tried that old hippie parenting trick of asking her what she really thought we should do to enlighten the other car and she answered “kick them in the stomach.” Showing an imperfect grasp of the relative speeds of our cars but a perfect grasp of republican tactics.

aimai

Psssh. Pikers. Wingnuts should try driving through NW Indiana and SW Michigan with a bunch of liberal stickers on a tiny car (I miss you, Feministiva!). I did this a couple times a year for a decade to visit my parents in the Detroit area, and we always got shit. The fella and I were once followed for 100 miles by two idiots in a pickup truck — they alternated between giving me rude and threatening hand gestures and writing things on bits of paper and holding them against the windows (”God didn’t make queers!” was my favorite). We just waved and laughed, but it was freaky.

Also, this incident from 2001: http://rubbernun.livejournal.c…..mode=reply

I still have every profane and illiterate note that was left on my windshield in those years. I keep meaning to scan them in and post them.

He drove his F-350 to the “local pub?” Even here in the liberal, elitist state of NY, we drive our pickups to bars.

They love their stories of how weak-kneed, pansy, effete liberals turn dangerous and aggressive. I’m not sure why pacifists are always portrayed in the wingnut mind as aggressors. Then again, there is the ol’ trope about the insane being the only ones able to hold two conflicting thoughts in their head at the same time and have it make sense (to them).

@21 Indeed. we even park our pickups on the lawn of the bars we frequent. And the F-350, a massive vehicle, adds to the story because nothing pisses off liberals like over-consumption. Of course, should even that part be true, I’m sure such a rough-neck needs a truck like that because of some heavy-construction or labor job he has during the first 40 of the week.

I believe Jeffrey “The Glock” Gates. Uh-huh. I believe him, but I wonder what asylum he’s writing from. I imagine he has a team of doctors working on his violent delusions, and I imagine he really, really believes his stories.

On the off-chance that “The Glock” isn’t completely insane (small chance), I would suspect that shortly after buying his surrogate manhood he started cruising neighborhoods, driving recklessly, trying to provoke incidents, so he could restore order by pulling his piece out in public.

The screaming lefty (aka innocuous citizen of indeterminate political persuasion) was probably honking at “The Glockmeister” because he had just driven over a puppy in his F-350 (divide by 35 to find the driver’s IQ) and never even slowed down — so busy was he fondling “Little Glocky” and staring slack jawed into its “gaping bore.” (Jeebus, sounds like bad, really bad porn.) Hell, he probably couldn’t even feel a puppy under the tires of his F-350.

Glock 27? F-350? Damn, does he have some manhood issues.

I just visited the scene of the crime (American Thinker) and I’m in tears. Those poor people. Victims of extreme Obamacommunist violence every one. Imagine wanting to put a McCain bumper sticker on your car, but being afraid to because every time you express yourself freely someone vandalizes your car.

I imagine a lot of the commenters there were so cowed they weren’t willing to tell others how many loved ones they’ve lost to the Left Wing Hate Squads that are running amok in their neighborhoods, terrorizing children and old people (with Palin tattoos).

There is only one answer to this tragedy — elect John and Sarah. They’ll lock up all lefties (pre-emption!) before they strike.

In 2004, starting in the late Spring, I carried out a little test. I kept a notepad in my car and when I saw a rude or dangerous driver I looked for bumper stickers to see if they were probably Democrats or Republicans. I didn’t keep track of those who did not have their political preference noted for all to see.

By election day the Republicans “won” the rude driver contest by about 4-1 (that is, for every rude Democrat, there were 4 rude repubs). I live in a pretty blue area (Northern VA) and worked in DC so republican drivers were most definitely in the minority. Still, they came through in a pinch!

To be fair the WORST single driver had Kucinich stickers all over his Volvo (seriously). He did an illegal u-turn in the middle of Wisconsin Ave in Georgetown on a Saturday in the middle of the day which not only blocked traffic going both ways on Wisconsin, but he managed to block traffic on 2 side streets as well. Truly it was the single most self-centered example of bad driving I saw the 6 months I kept track.

The most reckless driver I observed was a young republican male speeding and weaving in and out of traffic in a car loaded up with pro-gun stickers.

Maybe my fingers don’t work as well as most liberals, but I can’t figure out how to make an M without using both hands at the same time. That tends to impair my steering ability. I can, however, make a Hebraeo-Yiddish letter “Shin” with one hand (pretty much the Spock “Live Long and Prosper” sign), so I am able to communicate the terms schmuck, schlemeihl, schlemazel, shmegegge, schnook, schande, schicker, schlepper, shlong, shlub, shmo, schnorrer, schmendrick, and schtuck dreck. All in all, a useful vocabulary in communicating with wingnuts.

maybe they mean that the mythical liberal driver traced a “M” in the air rather than forming it with their fingers??

Yep, let them keep telling each other fables that every “stringy haired wannabe hippy” doesn’t have a weapon and doesn’t know how to use one.

Most likely, they got the finger after cutting off the other driver while yakking on their cellphone about how the McMansion still hasn’t sold, and decided that, yeah, it wasn’t their driving that was the problem, it was the McCain bumper sticker. And then embellished things a bit, just as van der Leun used to transform his fantasies about the woman at the laundromat who glared at him while she took her panties out of the dryer into whack-mag lettercol gold.

Well, there you go. There is an “extreme liberal” with violent tendencies — and she’s nine years old.

Please tell her not to frighten the big bully with the Glock — he has “issues” and can’t be trusted to behave.

Sorry — that last comment was supposed to be a reply to aimai @ 19.

Bumper stickers don’t change anyone’s mind. At most, they’ll get someone to rethink an opinion.
That said, here is a real story on the good of bumper stickers:

Years back, I worked for a small construction-related company. 10 employees. Daddy set up the buisness for his son & two sons-in-law. The family is an upstanding member in the local conservative Catholic community. Of course they are cheap. They had us four service/install techs using our own vehicles, paying limited milage. Along comes a female tech. They hired her without seeing her personal vehicle. On the rear bumper of her car was a classic sticker: Your tax dollars pay for rape, torture & murder in South America (this was the 80’s – can we say Iran/Contra?).
For some strange reason, Daddy shelled out for four leased company vehicles for us techs. I don’t think they could stomache someone representing their company with that message. I loved it!

Sometimes a gun is a gun, and sometimes a gun is a Freudian reassurance to the holder that they can still “shoot bullets.” Holding the gun can mean different things. Jeffrey Gates speaks so adoringly of it the question must be asked, does his love for the gun transcend his love for the weapon? Does the gun stand for everything he finds masculine, and as such, has he projected his own lack of strength by adoring it?

Also, somebody should tell him the new breed of Democrats aren’t hippies. A lot of us could just take the gun away from him, take it apart in under 60 seconds and throw the harmless parts back in his face. I like the title for your post, but another good one would have been “Republicans Failed to Notice Evolution of Democratic Party.” Many of us Democrats are soldiers or former soldiers. If Gates had discussed blowing me up with an IED I may have hesitated, but a soft suburban dweller with a little Glock doesn’t scare me.

What an egomaniac…