They’re certainly too smart to tolerate that … woman… for anything less than $20 million/week, judging the hardship duty involved.

President George W. Bush nominated Henry M. Paulson, Jr. to be the 74th Secretary of the Treasury on June 19, 2006. The United States Senate unanimously confirmed Paulson to the position on June 28, 2006 and he was sworn into office on July 10, 2006 by Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. As Treasury Secretary, Paulson is the President’s leading policy advisor on a broad range of domestic and international economic issues.

Before coming to Treasury, Paulson was Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Goldman Sachs since the firm’s initial public offering in 1999. He joined Goldman Sachs Chicago Office in 1974 and rose through the ranks holding several positions including, Managing Partner of the firm’s Chicago office, Co-head of the firm’s investment Banking Division, President and Chief Operating Officer, and Co-Senior partner.

Prior to joining Goldman Sachs, Paulson was a member of the White House Domestic Council, serving as Staff Assistant to the President from 1972 to 1973, and as Staff Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense at the Pentagon from 1970 to 1972.

Paulson graduated from Dartmouth in 1968, where he majored in English, was a member of Phi Beta Kappa, and an All Ivy, All East football player. He received an M.B.A. from Harvard in 1970. He and his wife, Wendy, have two children, Amanda and Merritt.

This asshole knew the bill for Big Shitpile was coming due when he took the job of treasury secretary. He will be Shrub’s fixer for this mess. If Obama is elected, he will fade into a comfortable multi-million dollar retirement, courtesy of Goldman Sachs, for all the wonderful work he did fucking over taxpayers.

An extra special bonus in evil:
He worked for Tricky Dick in the 70’s
He is working for Dead-eye Dick in the 00’s.

In an eleventh hour attempt to stave off a global financial crisis, President Bush announced the sale of Alaska to the Chinese for a sum in excess of $4 trillion dollars. In lieu of a monetary exchange, the Chinese have agreed to accept title to the majority of the State–with the exception of the inland peninsular region and the outlying islands–in exchange for forgiveness of over $1 trillion dollars of current US debt stemming from the purchase of mortgage backed securities by China. The deal, which had been in negotiation since the meltdown of US financial markets in September, was kept secret until well after the November election.

President-elect McCain has hailed the land sale as a “masterpiece of economic engineering by the Bush administration” that, coupled with the recent bail-out of investment bankers, “will surely go down in history as the ‘Bush Legacy.’”

China has stated that all previous residents are free to remain in Alaska, and will be granted dual citizenship with China–provided they become literate in Chinese within five years. Meanwhile, disgruntled Democrats have insisted that Palin resign the office of Vice President as the impending transfer of sovereignty of Alaska to China calls her U.S. Citizenship into question.

Existing gas and oil leases in Alaska are expected to remain in place. However, the proceeds from these leases will be shared by the Dept. of Interior with China according to a formula that has yet to be finalized. The 4 trillion cubic meters of natural gas believed to lie beneath the Kandik Basin region will be extracted by Conoco-Phillips, Exxon and BP in accord with existing leases and piped to the US.

The Chinese will also inherit the headaches associated with maintaining the aging infrastructure of the Trans-Alaska pipeline, in exchange to title of 50% of all oil shipped through to Prudhoe Bay.

Due to China’s virtually nonexistent environmental protection laws, the sale of Alaska is expected to hasten the drilling for oil and natural gas in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge. Quipped outgoing Vice President, Dick Cheney: “If you libruls hadn’t been so concerned with f*ckin’ reindeer instead of how ordinary people would gas up their Hummers and snowmobiles, we wouldn’t have had to do this!” A well-placed source within the administration stated that Haliburton and Kerr-McGee are principal bidders for the drilling contracts.

Timber and fishing rights on existing BIA lands are still problematic. The Chinese government has no analog to a sovereign state that exists separate yet contained within their sovereign state. The Chinese have agreed to “step into the shoes” of the United States in all treaties and compacts between the US and Native-Americans. Yet with wood a scarce commodity in China, and the global competition for seafood increasing along with the earth’s population, such rights may be difficult for Native Americans to enforce. Said John Killdeer, of the Kwakiutl People in southwestern Alaska, “It looks like the US will shaft my people once again.”

Meanwhile, as housing markets in the rest of the US slide ever downward, the price of homes and land in Alaska has increased approximately 25% in some locales, as China’s emerging affluent class purchase homes in North America. Jendy Tipton, an Anchorage Realtor, says that the “California-style” ranch homes are most popular among the newly-arrived residents.

The fact that this theory has utterly failed to promote top people to the top positions for generations is, apparently, irrelevant. It’s become a mantra, like “OM”, to be repeated until one’s mind is clear.