Login HereJohn McCain is inexplicably campaigning in Iowa today, and here is the invocation from Pastor Conrad of the Evangelical Free Church before McCain made his appearance:
“There are plenty of people around the world who are praying to their god, be they Hindu, Buddah, or Allah, that (McCain’s) opponent wins. I pray that you step forward and honor your own name.” Ends with “in Jesus’ name.”
So, in the face of great uncertainty, they're calling upon their white, blue-eyed Bible-Jesus to fight the forces of evil as personified by the mudgods of the heathen nonbelievers in a Steelcage Deity Deathmatch.
Sitting on the sidelines are the lesser deities: the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Cthulthu, Eric Clapton, Baal, Shakira's Ass, and whatever the hell those crazy Scientologists worship besides money.
(Link added by popular demand)
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Sorry Jesus, but Shakira’s Ass has got you beat on this one.
I am converting. Sorry, FSM (and your other incarnation Ceiling Cat) but I have much more faith in Shakira’s ass.
Please…a little piety: we adepts refer to the “All Powerful” as “Shakira’s A-s.“
True. If the Catholic church had offered Shakira’s ass as a subject of worship, I’d probably still go to mass.
“And God said, Let there be Shakira’s Ass: and there was Shakira’s Ass. And God saw Shakira’s Ass, that it was a good ass.”
That ass-shaking is seriously hypnotic. There is no way it is of this Earth. It somehow simultaneously proves the existence of God while also confirming Darwin’s theory of evolution.
There are times when I visit tbogg’s place, that I feel like I’ve entered the men’s locker room — know what I mean? This is one of those times :).
But let me just add — I do prefer Shakira’s Ass to Malkin’s cheerleading video.
Shorter Pastor Conrad: “My god can beat up your god.”
…people around the world who are praying to their god, be they Hindu, Buddah, or Allah…
Is he saying Hindu is a god, or did he just sort of get confused and wander from religions to gods?
Buddha isn’t a god, either, IIRC.
Correct. He was a human, who achieved enlightenment, but there is nothing supernatural about him.
As mesmerizing as Shakira’s Ass may be, I think a cage match between Pastor Conrad and Cthulhu would be a HUGE draw on Pay-per-view.
The good pastor is going to be, how shall I say this? mighty disappointed when Jesus chooses NOT to honor his own name come November.
Shorter Pastor Conrad: “My god can beat up your god.”
More like, “If, in contravention of all that is whitebread-American-holy, the Opponent-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named steals the crown from Old John, it will be because all those unsantified small-g-gods ganged up on The One True Jesus. Also, you guys didn’t
clappray hard enough.”At least when we enter the men’s locker room at Tboggs, the men are admiring someone worth it.
Can you imagine what the men’s locker room at The Corner is like? Ewwwww.
Carry on, gentlemen.
Another ass:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related
Hesaketa Emesse will send forth his earthly representative, Totka to toast his hairy white ass and reclaim this land for its native inhabitants.
Ah the auburn-haired, Aryan with the CW mullet. I’m afraid Jeezus looked much more like the average Hamas suicide bomber Rev. I doubt very much he’d be welcome in your congregation. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be.
I’m not sure what a locker room has to do with admiring Shakira’s ass. I’d attend a full Catholic mass if it included a solo with Shakira shaking her ass - and I’m a heterosexual woman.
Well, isn’t pastor Conrad admitting then that there are other gods? Doesn’t that fly in the face of all of the no other god stuff that these guys believe?
I’m confused. But he really will be disappointed when nothing happens. But you know, these folks keep saying the same shit and making the same kinds of predictions and nothing EVER happens. Why is that? Why don’t they ever admit that it’s all a pile of horseshit?
I know they can’t admit it, but still….after all these years of end of the world predictions and no action, you’d think the light would come on.
Oh, and we would all prefer Shakira’s ass…..that is some amazing action.
Tarvu.
It’s easy to join.
http://vimeo.com/1929187
Enjoy.
Curiously enough, I saw an old Cthulthu bumper-sticker on a car today; something along the lines of, ”Vote Cthulthu For President In 2004: Why Settle For The Lesser Evil?”
I have a question for Pastor Conrad. What is the difference between Jahew, Allah and God? I trust Pastor Conrad’s first name is not Abraham. Frigging dork.
Shorter Pastor Conrad: “My god can beat up your god.”
in Dominoes.
How timely. I went to see Bill Maher’s “Religulous” last night; go see it, you won’t regret it. Plus you get the added pleasure of buying a ticket for this movie while noting that no one is buying one for that American Carol crapfest that is playing in the same multiplex. I poked my head in the door for that one; the theatre was empty.
Ah, yes, the great gods Hindu and Buddha. I pray to them all the time.
I had to re-read Pastor Conrad’s quote. Jesus Christ that guy’s stupid.
I’m totally laying money on Cthulhu in that one.
Bonus points for the Obligatory “Don’t Drink the Water” reference.
check out this sarah palin video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1exiyBYnJ00