Didn’t watch the debate.

Instead I was on my way home from work and then I was out walking the dogs. Here’s some of the live dog walking blogging in case you missed it:

7:43 – Finally got leash off of Fenway. Find one of my running shoes under the bed with him in not-so-good condition. Consider taking up drinking. Google "hamsters for sale" "san diego".

7:41 – Fenway runs  under the bed and won’t come out. Can’t reach his leash. Beckham gets a drink and then drools 70% of it all over the floor. Reach for shredded up paper towels.

7:40 – Wrestle dogs up the stairs. Beckham stops on the porch and won’t come in the door. Relents upon the promise of food.

7:38 – Finally convinced dogs to go in  the house. Both dogs stop to smell something that interests them in the grass. They then take turns  peeing on it. "Goddamit, get in the house, you idiots." I now need to pee.

7:35 – Both dogs barking like fucking idiots at dog a half block away. Considering the merits of  hamsters as pets.

7:33- Aimless walking. Beckham stops ever ten feet or so for no reason other than to be a butthead and annoy me. Fenway surges ahead.

7:32 – Both dogs pee on agapanthas. Fenway then  heads north. Beckham refuses to move. I look like I’m about to be torn asunder by short stumpy dogs.

7:31 – Attempt to pick up poop as Fenway lurches away from me almost pulling me over.  Nonetheless,  poop acquired.  Mission accomplished.

7:30 – Fenway finally poops. Beckham pees again. I think he’s been drinking beer.

7:25 – Beckham  barking at a cat across the street. Cat is unimpressed. Fenway makes weird groany noises. Cat less than unimpressed.

7:22 – Peeing on tree.

7:19 – Peeing on lawn.

7:15 – Beckham poops. Pick it up.

7:12 – Aimless milling around by the dogs, sniffing at the air. Legs (mine) tangled up in leashes. Must not trip, fall down, break hip, die of pneumonia. Peeing on bushes.

7:08 – Out of control barking at neighbors cat, followed by more peeing.

7:03 – Seemingly endless pee on lawn followed by barking at… nothing in particular.

7:02 – Both dog race for the front yard nearly pulling me down the  stairs.

7:01 – Finally get leashes on dogs. Beckham is now tangled up in Fenway’s leash, need to drop leashes and drag them through milling-about stupid basset feet to straighten them out. At last second, grab poop bags and stuff them  in my pocket. Pulled against my will out the door.

6:58 – Dogs still milling around my feet and through my legs like sharks who smell blood in the water.

6:57 – "Goddamit. Hold still, you idiots."

6:54 – Attempt to put leashes on dogs.

6:49 -  Walk in door and dogs start barking like they have been living on a desert island for three months and can’t believe they are saved. Clean up roll of paper towels that Fenway got a hold of and shredded all through the bedroom. Beckham slinks under bed acting guilty. I know better.