
It probably comes as no surprise that Rich Lowry isn’t the only Republican male in America who ‘pitches a tent’ for Sarah Palin. A couple of articles over the past few days illustrate her ability to cloud men’s minds by making the blood flow and pool way down south.
Here’s Jane Mayer writing in The New Yorker about When Bill Kristol, Fred Barnes, and Michael Gerson Met Sarah while on a cruise to Alaska:
During the lunch, everyone was charmed when the Governor’s small daughter Piper popped in to inquire about dessert. Fred Barnes recalled being “struck by how smart Palin was, and how unusually confident. Maybe because she had been a beauty queen, and a star athlete, and succeeded at almost everything she had done.” It didn’t escape his notice, too, that she was “exceptionally pretty.”
[...]
By the time the Weekly Standard pundits returned to the cruise ship, Paulette Simpson said, “they were very enamored of her.” In July, 2007, Barnes wrote the first major national article spotlighting Palin, titled “The Most Popular Governor,” for The Weekly Standard. Simpson said, “That first article was the result of having lunch.” Bitney agreed: “I don’t think she realized the significance until after it was all over. It got the ball rolling.”
The other journalists who met Palin offered similarly effusive praise: Michael Gerson called her “a mix between Annie Oakley and Joan of Arc.” The most ardent promoter, however, was Kristol, and his enthusiasm became the talk of Alaska’s political circles. According to Simpson, Senator Stevens told her that “Kristol was really pushing Palin” in Washington before McCain picked her. Indeed, as early as June 29th, two months before McCain chose her, Kristol predicted on “Fox News Sunday” that “McCain’s going to put Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska, on the ticket.” He described her as “fantastic,” saying that she could go one-on-one against Obama in basketball, and possibly siphon off Hillary Clinton’s supporters. He pointed out that she was a “mother of five” and a reformer. “Go for the gold here with Sarah Palin,” he said. The moderator, Chris Wallace, finally had to ask Kristol, “Can we please get off Sarah Palin?”
The next day, however, Kristol was still talking about Palin on Fox. “She could be both an effective Vice-Presidential candidate and an effective President,” he said. “She’s young, energetic.” On a subsequent “Fox News Sunday,” Kristol again pushed Palin when asked whom McCain should pick: “Sarah Palin, whom I’ve only met once but I was awfully impressed by—a genuine reformer, defeated the establishment up there. It would be pretty wild to pick a young female Alaska governor, and I think, you know, McCain might as well go for it.” On July 22nd, again on Fox, Kristol referred to Palin as “my heartthrob.” He declared, “I don’t know if I can make it through the next three months without her on the ticket.”
Another day, another cruise ship and Sarah heads down to the docks:
On August 1, 2007, a few weeks after the Weekly Standard cruise departed from Juneau, Palin hosted a second boatload of pundits, this time from a cruise featuring associates of National Review. Her guests, arriving on the M.S. Noordam, included Rich Lowry, the magazine’s editor and a syndicated columnist; Robert Bork, the conservative legal scholar and former federal judge; John Bolton, who served as the Bush Administration’s Ambassador to the United Nations from 2004 to 2006; Victor Davis Hanson, a conservative historian who is reportedly a favorite of Vice-President Dick Cheney; and Dick Morris, the ideologically ambidextrous political consultant, who writes a column for The Hill and appears regularly on Fox News.
As Jack Fowler, National Review’s publisher, recalled it, when the guest speakers were invited to come to a special reception at the governor’s mansion, “We said, ‘Sure!’ There’s only so much you can do in Juneau.” The mansion itself, he said, was modest—“not exactly Newport.” But the food was great, and included an impressive spread of salmon. Palin, who circulated nimbly through the room, and spoke admiringly of National Review, made a good impression. Fowler said, “This lady is something special. She connects. She’s genuine. She doesn’t look like what you’d expect. My thought was, Too bad she’s way up there in Alaska, because she has potential, but to make things happen you have to know people.”
Hanson, the historian, recalled Palin in high heels, “walking around this big Victorian house with rough Alaska floors, saying, ‘Hi, I’m Sarah.’ ” She was “striking,” he said. “She has that aura that Clinton, Reagan, and Jack Kennedy had—magnetism that comes through much more strongly when you’re in the same room.” He was delighted that Palin described herself as a fan of history, and as a reader of National Review’s Web site, for which he writes regularly. She spoke about the need to drill for oil in Alaska’s protected wilderness areas, arguing that her husband had worked in nearby oil fields and knew firsthand that it wasn’t environmentally hazardous. Hanson, a farm owner, found it appealing that she was married to an oil worker, rather than to an executive. Bolton, for his part, was pleased that Palin, a hunting enthusiast, was familiar with his efforts to stave off international controls on the global flow of small weapons. She spoke knowledgeably about missile defense, too, he said, and discussed his role, in 2001, in guiding the Bush Administration’s withdrawal from the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty. Jay Nordlinger, a senior editor at National Review, had a more elemental response. In an online column, he described Palin as “a former beauty-pageant contestant, and a real honey, too. Am I allowed to say that? Probably not, but too bad.”
According to several accounts, however, no connection made that day was more meaningful than the one struck between Palin and Dick Morris. “He had this very long conversation with her,” Fowler recalled. Lowry laughed in remembering it: “The joke going around was that he was going to take credit for making her.”
Well, hell-oooo sailor! New in Juneau? You wanna talk ’bout drillin’ or missles? It’s all the same to me. Wink. Wink.
And if these hardened (in more ways than one) Washington insiders with their realpolitik worldviews can be seduced with her feminine wiles, what chance does Joe Sixpack Plumber Horndog have:
“You rock me out, Sarah,” yelled one man, wearing a red-checked hunting jacket as Ms. Palin, the Republican vice presidential candidate, strode into an airplane hangar here on Thursday. He held a homemade “Dudes for Sarah” sign and wore a National Rifle Association hat. Kenny Loggins’s “Danger Zone” blared over the loudspeakers, and the man even danced a little — yes, a guy in an N.R.A. hat dancing in a hangar, kind of a Sarah Palin rally thing.
“I feel like I’m at home,” Ms. Palin said, looking out at a boisterous crowd of about 6,000. “I see the Carhartts and the steel-toed boots,” she said, the first reference being to a clothing brand favored by construction workers and the burly types who make up much of the “Sarah Dude” population. “You guys are great,” she said while signing autographs.
Guys think Ms. Palin is great, too, or at least many of those who come to hear her. They sometimes go to extraordinary lengths. “I woke up at 2 a.m. so I could get my work done before 6 and get here by 7,” said Mike Spencer, a chef from Dexter, Me. Mr. Spencer waited in the chilly hangar — in a “Nobama” T-shirt — for almost three hours.
[...]
She has been widely attacked, even by a growing number of conservatives, as being essentially unserious and uncurious. “She doesn’t think aloud. She just …says things,” the Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan wrote Friday. “She does not speak seriously but attempts to excite sensation.”
All the while, Ms. Palin’s stoutest defenders are often the Joe Sixpacks in her crowds, who shrug off her critics, ridiculers and perceived adversaries in the news media. They say they appreciate Ms. Palin for, above all else, how “real” and “like us” she is.
“Katie Couric and Tina Fey are going to do their thing, but it doesn’t bother me at all,” said Rob McLain, an insurance agent from Avon, Ind., who attended a packed Palin rally at an amphitheatre in Indiana on Friday night. Mr. McLain wore a “Proud to be voting for a hot chick” button and was joined by his wife, Shannan (“Read my lipstick” button on lapel), and his 6-week-old son, Jaxon (“Nobama” button on beanie).
(Jaxon?)
When speaking with the hoi polloi Palin drops her "g’s", ratchets up the corn-pone accent and her speeches become a mixture of For the Boys Bette Midler flirting mixed with empty calorie red meat sound-bites because, well, who’s listening anyway? She’s hot and she’s Republican, making her rarer than a unicorn. Blink at the wrong time and you may never see another one again, so gather ye hard-ons while ye may.
As Annie Savoy once said:
Sometimes when I’ve got a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. ‘Course, a guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty.
You can look it up.




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I can understand these boys gettin’ all excited. You can only lust after Ann Coulter for so long.
Another line from Annie Savoy: “The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self awareness.”
So all the finest right-wing pundits behave like Cub Scouts in the presence of Her Hotness? But they get paid to talk about their schoolboy crushes as long as they equate everything in some way with conservative politics?
November 4 can’t possibly get here soon enough.
Forget that idea. These guys will be mooning over her until she gets her 2% in the 2012 Iowa caucuses.
“She’s just like me!”
Great. These douchebags can’t remember that this is the very reason that they elected a functioning moron for president the last time. They just had to have a beer with that fuck, didn’t they? But I see now that that isn’t enough for these peanut heads. They want to be able to jagoff to their commander in chief as well. I can’t wait for this woman to be out of our lives. And while we’re at it, can we please exile Kristol and his minions to the wilderness of internet radio. November 5th can’t arrive fast enough.
“Owww! They stole my freakin’ kidney!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFCSXr6qnv4
Tina Fey is going to ask her questions? What a vindictive cow!
Srsly, this is all Kristol’s doing? He really is the gift that keeps on giving. Please don’t ever let the GOP realize that everything he suggests or supports turns to insta-shit.
I’m trying to visualize the clown car of cruise ships pulling up to the dock in Juneau and releasing a posse of assorted asshats and self-righteous pundits to drool over Governor Hot Stuff — almost makes you feel bad for that poor state.
But, really, now, this crowd has the social cachet of a gangly, pock-marked geek on his first date; once the erections hit, how the hell were they supposed to tell — or much care — if she was talking about the salmon or the ballistic missiles?
The “country first” crowd chooses a candidate for veep based on her “hotness”. What a bunch of adolescent twits.
Get them the fuck outta there! I want these nitwits crushed, demolished, wiped out on November 4th. Enough of this insanity!
Whew — I feel a little better now.
It’s too bad that Obama is such a stud muffin that’s he’s going to draw off enough of the women’s vote to cancel out the Palin horn dog vote.
Short fat chubbies all around.
Earlier on Morning Joe, they all (except Mika) had a little masturbation session over Barbie’s “hotness” and I was truly ill. Especially when they insisted she showed a “spark of intelligence” (I’m pretty sure the only spark was the woody in your pants, dude).
If women were voting for a male candidate on his physical attributes, we’d be belittled for our fluffy-headed shallowness–instead all these supposed “intellectuals” actually go so far as to equate their boners with proof that Palin is smarter than we all really thought.
> Jaxon?
I’m old enough to remember when it was the hippies who were giving their kids goof-ass made up names.
Bagnewsnotes has a great analysis of Bible Spice’s SNL appearance.
http://bagnewsnotes.typepad.co…..s-snl.html
Palin’s “hotness” really disappears the more you get to know her. Now on the other hand, if Tina Fey was running…
Jaxon, Jaxoff, it’s all the same.
I just caught those images at bagnewsnotes: Tina Fey clearly outshines Caribou Barbie and appears to revel in it! Go, Tina, go!
WSTS
Nice title. I’ve been thinking that this really might be the Most Dubious Year Ever. Esquire must be reconsidering retiring the Dubious Achievement Awards…
The camouflauge patterns on a copperhead are beautiful too, but somehow they do something besides arouse me….
And this is pretty much how Sarah Palin went from an also-ran beauty queen to Empress of the Peter Principle. The fact that she would throw them all under the bus with the same aplomb that she used to throw her elbows into the midriffs of small-town basketball players seems to have escaped them. I’m also amused by “several men [who]cite the appeal of Ms. Palin as a can-do caretaker” in the NYT article. I strongly suspect that there’s a big overlap between these fanboys and the Promise Keeper crowds of a few years back. The dudes who were going to be lord and master of their households just want Big Mommy to hold them and stroke their hair and maybe give them a little of Trig’s meals, if you catch my drift.
Palin explained that she named her children for things that were significant in the lives of her and the First Dude. I guess that means that her next kid will be christened “Boners”.
Is that you, Mr. Miyagi?
I see that Mrs. Dude is spouting off about a gay marriage amendment without first having checked in with ol’ Krusty and
her handlersthe policy folks on the campaign. Naugthy, naughty, Sarah, you really should know better by now.Now, if there was any rhyme or reason to those fancy-ass Amendments, we’d have one prohibiting people like Sarah & Todd from procreating beyond, say, one little snowflake or two. Just coming up with decent names for the poor little things is clearly taxing enough; never mind the challenge of raising them to be decent human beings.
And, besides, how would Dipstick Palin deal with the embarrassment of his ancestry by the time he gets to first grade?
Between the fan-boy craziness over Sarah and Bush’s “manly characteristic”, Republicans sure get goofy about sex.
I have to wonder if this Redneck men for Caribou Barbie thing has some amount of backfire built into it. I know more than a few older conservative wives who are especially hateful when seeing older guys lusting after younger women, or worse yet, actually being married one (a la Harrison Ford, whom they now detest). I have to wonder if some of them are resentful enough of this dynamic to not vote for Bible Spice based on that bit of hometime drama alone.
So, will they will suck down their bile over their hubby drooling over Sayruh’s cockroach killer heels when they enter the voting booth? Maybe, but then again, maybe not.
If I had a suspicious nature I’d say that Palin is laying the groundwork for her own political future. It will be interesting to see whether the Republicans do some introspection or they simply embrace Palin’s brand of Know-Nothingism. My money’s on the latter.
Did Victor Davis etc. imply he’s been in the same room as JFK? I know it’s not impossible, but come on…
Well, I was once in the Orange Bowl with JFK, New Year’s Day, 1963.
I just figured out who Sarah Palin really is.
She’s Bebe from South Park when she grows “a-tas” and the boys all go crazy and start fighting over her.
The guys in these crowds can’t have mental ages much higher than eight, so it’s a perfect analogy.
Here in Eu-taw, all we heard when she was first chosen was the locals gushing “She’s just like us!” In more ways that one! Now, not so much. I think the residents of this here Land’O’Zion are starting to realize that she’s actually just like the ones who stand on the street corners across from the TEMP-uhl during Mormodan (AKA General Conference) and scream “SATAN LOVER!” at the Saints trying to cross the street to get to the Supernacle. Plus, that except for her, Old McScratchy might have had the smooth-talkin’ good hair Mittster (R-beloved of Utah) up there with him, saying soothing things about the economy, instead of Palin leading KKK rallies. So I think the bloom is off her tundra rose here in the reddest of the red states.
“Joe Sixpacks in her crowds, who shrug off her critics, ridiculers and perceived adversaries in the news media.”
They also shrug off facts, common sense, reality, decency, on and on and on.
I know, I know, pick me, pick me ….
What are the most famous words in NASCAR?
Show us your tits!
Agreed; I guess that question will be answered when we find out who gets to drive the conservative clown car from hereon out. With big shots like Mitch McConnell struggling to even get re-elected it’s not clear that the current crop of rethug Congress-critters will even be around to call the shots after November.
But pity the fool who gets to tell Karl Rove, Cheney and the other masterminds that — after much reflection (and an epic ass-kicking at the polls) — their otherwise exquisite services of Slander, Slime & Treason will no longer be required by the trying-to-be-reborn GOP?
Those Weakly Standard and Nat Rev cruises sound terrifying. Imagine being confined with either group.
The thought of having to suck up to revolting creeps like Kristol and Bolton almost makes me pity Sarah. Almost.
Maybe they could recast the marketing as “long-distance swimming instruction.”
So, what happens when one of Palin’s, um, supporters, asks his wife to “wear these special glasses” when they have sex?
Palin explained that she named her children for things that were significant in the lives of her and the First Dude.
Huh?!?
Things that were significant in their lives?
Okay, let’s play a game.
What’s the significant thing signified by “Tag”? Duh Dood stuck a KICK ME sign on Sarah’s ass in third grade?
Trig? Their first kiss was when they skipped math class that one time and snowmobiled out onto the tundra in the eternal twilight of late autumn?
Willow? [imagination fails]
Piper? Uh…pass.
BRISTOL????????
Piper was for Pipeline. Bristol was so that they could get endorsement money from Bristol/Myers/Squibb. There’s no Tag. Tag is the Mittster’s just lost $25 million of my inheritance son. And I think it’s Tagg. You’re thinking of Trigg. Trigg. Trigg is for future endorsment money from the NRA anf gun manufacturers. Willow is for the tree they procreated under. Track the eldest son is for the tracks they have on their arms for the IV drugs they were doing when they came up with the name.
Maybe the real Americans in the real America as Nancy Pfotenhauer described them (like the two Virginias–(a virginia inside a virginia anatomically speaking) just know what’s hot or not.
I also don’t understand since Tina Fey is infinitely more ready to be VP or Oval Office occupant, why Moroncuda was not replaced on SNL on the ticket. I thought that was the big deal and cause for the highest ratings in years and was very disappointed when that did not occur. I was sure that was going to happen.
I was totally grossed out by Ben Affleck when he said on Real Time that he appreciates Palin and views her as a contender. Ugh. Bill Maher grilled him about it but he couldn’t explain himself. Turned red as a frickin’ beet though. (What Jennifer Garner sees in that dude I’ll never understand.)
That comment by Afleck the usually not as prescient as he fancies himself politically but more prescient than that struck me as ridiculous by Jen’s Ben. I was surprised he can’t see through Palin for all the viscious hatred that she pushes while wearing a shit eating grin.
Morris? Dick Morris? Prostitute toe-sucker Dick Morris?
Yup. He sure knows how to pick ‘em!
Put it this way: the element of truth in Good Will Hunting is that Matt Damon is the brains of that particular dynamic duo.
I was surprised he can’t see through Palin.
He can’t see through Palin because she’s full of shit.
It’s true that Affleck is a little less than kleig caliber. Both brain and career-wise. That’s why he made such a good George Reeves. It was HIS life.
My guess at what Jen sees in him: a biddable boy. Emphasis on “boy.”
After Sarah dissapears to the tundra, those newz boyz can get their kicks here.
Via OWillis