Concerned that John McCain’s Ayers/Rev. Wright/socialist/that man is a nigg– campaign strategy may not pay off in a presidency, conservatives search the horizon from their treeforts nestled high above in the Tree of Liberty (the one refreshed with the blood of those other guys) at what the Brave Obama World might bring.
First comes the muzzling of speech.
SHOULD Barack Obama win the presidency and Democrats take full control of Congress, next year will see a real legislative attempt to bring back the Fairness Doctrine – and to diminish conservatives’ influence on broadcast radio, the one medium they dominate.
Lacking a red meat echo chamber, disconsolate conservatives will be forced to fill the countless hours they previously spent hanging on the telephone in order to tell Sean Hannity that he is a "great American" and thus will lose contact with the outside world, and waste away, their stiff lifeless bodies found weeks later smelling worse than usual.
Others are considering opting out of a mainstream America that fails to appreciate their contributions, choosing instead to hole up in a compound of like-minded smart people:
Ask Dr. Helen: Is it time to "go John Galt?"
As Ayn Rand foresaw, productive Americans are fed up with supporting the unproductive and may not take it anymore.
And by "productive" she means necessary contributors to society like forensic psychologists, robo-love legal theorists and assorted other big thinkers, think tankers, and citizen journalists who believe that Galt’s Gulch is going to be just like Candyland except that they won’t have to share.
Others have a more dour belief about what awaits them:
Have a friend who was in Riverside Park (Manhattan) with his baby daughter. A woman came up to him and said, “Are you a registered Democrat?” He said no. She said, “Well, you can register right now — it will just take a second. I have the necessary paperwork here.” He said, “No, actually, that’s not it — I am registered. It’s just that I’m a registered Republican.” He said that the woman gave him a look of hate such as he had seldom seen — sent a shudder down his spine. She walked away, still glaring, bitterly, without a word.
Now, the thing is, my friend’s not very political at all — he’s not like me and the rest of us NRO-niks. He just has a nice career (unrelated to politics), and a nice family, loves to play golf, likes to go to the movies, and goes about his business. And he thought, “Shouldn’t she simply have been pleased that I was registered? Isn’t political participation and good citizenship what it’s all about?”
Oh, no, no, my friend — not by a long shot. Come the revolution, you will understand. And that lady will give you a good long time in a camp to think about it.
I feel kind of bad for Republicans this year. It’s just been one disappointment after another; a shitty candidate, a shittier running mate, the worst president ever, a crushing economy, nobody cares about Bill Ayers, the impending election wipeout. I almost feel like we should build a few re-education compounds just so that they can feel like they got one thing right.
I’m just trying to be gracious here…
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I hope they all get together in their own version of Jonestown and drink kool-aid. Or eat poisoned cheetos. However they want to go out is ok with me.
Now now, Leslie. Don’t be uncharitable. Wouldn’t it be cool if they, after a taste of what a competent government will be like, they suddenly realized that all the hate they’d been taught, all the us-vs-them walls they’d built around themselves, all their authoritarian impulses, would wither and fade like a bad dream?
Oh shit, what am I thinking? Personally, I’d give them all a lethal dose of syphilis. As their brains were eaten away, they’d notice not one bit of difference, so it’d hardly be cruel.
I think the John Galt thing would be a great idea. Really! Get all of those “productive” folks together, and seal them away somewhere far, far from the rest of us leeches. (umm, Wasilla perhaps?) I’m sure a true Ayn Randian society would evolve….but leave them a conch just in case.
And never, never let them back……….
There’s going to be a special place reserved for me in copyeditor hell if I don’t point out that the two “Other’s” used to introduce quotes here probably shouldn’t have hot apostrophe action going on there.
Seriously. A special place, probably with boiling oil and Small Wonder reruns.
I like the idea of re-education. Parchman Farm in La. is famous for learning the slow. Send all the wingnuts down to chop cotton while being “supervised” by massive angry black men with bullwhips. I suspect they will discover a better attitude towards the new world order.
And while they lose weight under the brutal delta sun, they can mull over the fact that democratic voters are breeding like rodents and wingnuts are mostly barren. That will make the sixteen hour days fly by.
How about if we build the camps, but make them like Candyland?
You know they’re running out of ideas for slander if they have to whine about the reintroduction of The Fairness Doctrine. What a bitch, fairness, huh? No more personal attacks, no more biased bullshit — woe is me.
tNow, remember, the Fairness Doctrine never applied to cable TV anyway, so it’s not like the Falafel Master and his fellow circle jerkers at Fox would have to, you know, clean up their shit. But wouldn’t it me awfully
marxistnice if Obama took steps to clean up that cess pool sometime in February? Now, that would be change we could believe in and which should leave the 101 Keyboarders quaking in the boots.Dr. Helen writes in her blog:
Somehow, I don’t think that the loss of the efforts of Dr. Helen and her readers will hurt us that much. Just sayin’.
YooHooligan, I’ll be right next to you. Extra apostrophes (or should I say, extra apostrophe’s) are right up there next to modifying “unique.”
And, yes, if all of the wingnut welfare recipients and right-wing talk show hosts drop off the face of the earth to form their own little society? The rest of us would be much better off.
I can offer them sub-prime ARM mortgages to move to compounds in Idaho. Or Maveralaska.
Ah John Galt – I remember some one told me the plot of Atlas Shrugged such as it was and I quoted DeGaul “the Cemeteries are filled with indispensable men.” she didn’t like that much.
Rather than camps, why not just give them the state of Utah? I’d even support higher taxes to build a security wall for our friends on the Right. A wall 20′ high with a 1/2 mile wide shit-moat around it. That way, they’ll be safe from illegal immigrants. Obviously, I’d hope that everyone would have as many arms as possible to protect themselves, of course. Also, no government to abridge their individual rights.
Would this be a right-wing Utopia or what? Truly, a win-win for this country.
If wingnuts “cut back on what they need” it just means less junk being imported from China, so if they are “The Silent Majority” they pretend to be, the trade imbalance will markedly improve. However, as Cheetos are the things they need the most, and those are (unfortunately for the balance of trade) made domestically, not much real gain will be had.
As to them abandoning we leeches and forming their own society, it would no doubt be rapture, for both them AND us.
I was talking about this tangentially this weekend, in terms of taxes. Do they, who never did an honest day’s work in the lives, really think that the real producers in this economy stop working once they reach the higher tax rates?
The people who get things done, from plumbers to sitcom writers (ie everyone isn’t on the wingnut welfare), do it because they want to be productive. The only line of work in which money is the sole object is crime: the rest of us pull espresso shots, install HDTVs, paint buildings, conduct oppo research on political candidates, etc.
Can you see someone actually deciding in June that he is going to stop working so as not to pay too much in taxes? These jackasses have no idea how little they actually pay compared to the published rates . . .
You bastards! It will soon be time to be charitable: I say we give them assigned street corners and buckets, and let them clean our windshields.
And, yes, after two months probation they may be supplied with squeegees.
And this would be a bad thing?
I really wish all this Ayn Rand fans really would disappear off to the mountains like they threaten to. I’d be quite comical to watch Ms. Helen stare with utter disbelief as the world goes on functioning just fine without her. Meanwhile, back on Pajama Hill they’ll be struggling trying to figure out how the hell to make a cheeto so poor Jonah doesn’t starve to death.
wow. So many spelling errors in my post. I feel stupid now.
To be fair, walking away without a word with a look of hate in your eye is considered polite behavior in Manhattan.
No, seriously, the lady collecting registrations was probably working and she was mad at the dumbass who wasted her time by leading her to belive she was about to sign up another voter and get a few more bucks. In these hard times, every buck counts.
No squeegee for you!
Have a friend who was in Riverside Park …
Oh crap, that was Nordlinger who wrote that? He’s a pretty well-known fabulist. Ten to one, he made up the whole conversation in his head.
It’s OK. Nordlinger’s friend is a cab driver, a group well known as the fount of all wisdom…
“She said, “Well, you can register right now — it will just take a second. I have the necessary paperwork here.”
It’s too bad the “friend from Riverside Park” missed his opportunity to bust wide open the massive, I tell you, massive voter fraud being perpetrated on this country. Alas, he’s not very political at all so I guess he just doesn’t give a shit that the very fabric of our democracy is being torn apart by ACORN and its ilk.
Oh well, see you all at camp next summer! Woohoo!
Lemme get this straight — a Dem lady registering voters gave a Gooper guy a hard look when he revealed his political affinity, and that’s an indication Obama is going to open up concentration camps for right wingers?
It appears that some folks readily project their own authoritarian impulses.
They must keep a large stock of smelling salts at NRO. They never know when they’re going to be confronted by their own shadows…
I’ll merge MarkinAustin and catphealy’s comments and suggest that Nordlinger’s friend in Riverside Park was none other than littl’ Tommy Friedman. I bet he told the registration collector to Go. Suck. On. This. and that was why she got a little miffed…
You do have to appreciate the sweet, nougaty irony of Dr. and Mr. Reynolds flattering themselves as being among the productive.
I’d pay big to attend the meeting in Galtopia when Ma and Pa Reynolds are told to grab a broom or get the hell out.
InnocentBystander,
Re your really good idea to just give them Utah:
The Christianistas, led by Gov. Barbie or Huckabee, would immediately be at war with the Mormons, led by the Mittster of course. (They really don’t like each other.) This wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, as long as they keep the hostilities inside the wall/shit-moat. It would keep em happy, cause you know how these folks love war.
Somebody needs to tell Robert Redford to get the hell out of Sundance before this plan is implemented.
Well, I wouldn’t be that quick to give over Utah; the Uintas are quite beautiful, and it’d be wasted.
Give ‘em America’s Wang, if you must give them something. Swamps, heat, humidity, stupidity, the highest concentration of telemarketing companies, religious broadcasters, I could go on and on.
I had been going to suggest ALaska, but it would be cruel to the caribou, polar bears and wolves, no to mention ANWR.
What about we pour more money into NASA and go for the Golgafrinchan solution?
Oh, baby, go for it!
Anyone who takes Ayn Rand’s writing seriously after they’ve left college is emotionally stunted.
Well, I wouldn’t be that quick to give over Utah; the Uintas are quite beautiful, and it’d be wasted.
Me neither, because I live here.
If there were some sort of relocation program for Utah liberals, or if you made the Randians stay out of Salt Lake City, maybe.
You know, the best part about the wingers “going John Galt” and withdrawing from the world to “punish” us is that (a) no-one will notice and (b) if anyone DOES somehow notice, they still won’t miss them.
Anyone who takes Ayn Rand’s writing seriously after they’ve left college is emotionally stunted.
Not to mention intellectually.
What about we pour more money into NASA and go for the Golgafrinchan solution?
Actually Ben Elton wrote a book called “Stark” which was a bit more realistic look at Randians In Space, IMO. Very black comedy.
I like the idea of re-education. Parchman Farm in La. is famous for learning the slow.
Just a technical correction. The legendary Parchman Farm is in Mississippi, where it has been a haven of progressive prison policy for many, many decades.
Louisiana is home to the equally prestigious Angola Prison.
Anyone who takes Ayn Rand’s writing seriously after they’ve left college is emotionally stunted.
This is true. I think most of the liberals left Kurt Vonnegut and Herman Hesse behind about thirty five years ago.