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Robert Stacy McCain sees the future of the Republican party:
I saw the Republican Party today, standing in line to see Palin at Shippensburg University. The line stretched for more than half a mile – people waiting outside for hours on a windy 40-degree day – and though the doors opened more than two hours before the event, security still wasn’t able to get everyone through the metal detectors by the time the rally began. Let’s see Buckley or Kathleen Parker or Ken Adelman draw a crowd like that.
With apologies to Jon Landau, I saw rock and roll’s future and its name is Hannah Montana:
Tickets for the Best Of Both Worlds Tour have been selling out for every show, with many shows selling out in just five minutes or less. Many tickets for the shows can then be found almost immediately after purchase on eBay, StubHub, or other secondary markets selling for well over the face value of the tickets. The Arkansas Attorney General’s office said, “All hell broke loose with Hannah Montana. The tickets were gone in 12 minutes and when people turned around, they were selling at online sites for sometimes as much as 10 times the face value.
Two years from now, they’ll both be in rehab.
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So, he’s saying, if you took all the remaining Republicans in America, and laid them end to end… half a mile? That much?
Alternate punchlines welcome!
and though the doors opened more than two hours before the event, security still wasn’t able to get everyone through the metal detectors by the time the rally began.
And all because of that one guy who comments at Protein Wisdom.
Two years from now, they’ll both be in rehab.
And/or playing for the buffet diners at the elegant Fitz Casino in Tunica, MS. Oh sure, they’ll try to play their new stuff, but the crowd is there to hear the hits: “Muslim”; “Terrorist”; “Ni**er”; “Socialist”; and the always popular “Baby Killer”.
Sarah will be in jail, playing patty-cake with Trig through the visitor room plexiglass while asking Todd to put more money in her commissary account so that she can pay Big Mabel protection in the form of mackerel.
Miley, though, might be OK; heck, even Britney has her shit together these days, although that may be only so that she can ride with the other three horsewomen of the apocalypse.
“Let’s see those apples draw a crowd like these oranges.”
Sarah Palin: Because Real Americans can’t follow too many idiots off of too many cliffs.
Sarah Palin will be the Fox News anchor denouncing Miley Cyrus’s SEXXXY TOUR, and showing the clip of the pole dance over and over.
Palin in rehab, huh? Well, the crushing defeat heading her way will surely send her on a downward spiral of drugs, booze, and tatoos, so I guess I can see that. And, hey, she’s already got the fuck-me pumps, so it’s the whole Amy Winehouse trip.
In fact, put some glasses on Amy and she can play Palin in Rehab! The Musical!
“Two years from now, they’ll both be in rehab.”
Or pregnant.
Bingo.
to paraphrase Dorothy Parker
So, he’s saying, if all the remaining Republican women in America, were laid end to end… i wouldn’t be at all surprised