Oh come on. Everyone likes fudge.

Around the corner…a tangy citrus beverage!

At least there will be no dinner-time lectures about children in China who would love to have a shit sandwich, so stop your sniveling, eat your dinner, and pass the, um… gravy.

When I used to visit my grandmother at the nursing home, the inmates residents would begin queuing up to take the elevator to the cafeteria at about 11:30 a.m.. As I was leaving one day, I passed one of my grandmother’s neighbors, I said “bye” and told her I hoped she’d have a good lunch. She looked at me scornfully and spat, “They hired three goddamned new cooks who don’t know SHIT from apple-butter!” If she’d used a phrase like “shit from shinola” I’d have been okay but the unexpected visual reference to apple-butter left me momentarily speechless. I told her I’d try to have a talk with them on my way out but just to be on the safe side, she should avoid eating anything she couldn’t readily identify.