“Hail Reagan! Now…who brought snacks this week?”

Several weeks ago the "directors"  of Red State (which includes noted plagiarist Ben Domenech as well as  Mr. Monica Goodling)  challenged all those who aspired to head the RNC to answer These Questions Ten. Upon receipt of the answers the Directors would then retire to their Chamber of Hard Thinking where, over ice-cold Zimas, they would review the submissions,  dismiss the RINO’s, pretenders, and apostates and select the One True Conservative who would be announced with a fart-like blast of white smoke through a laundry vent at Red State International Headquarters/Moe Lane’s Garage.

At least, that’s how is was supposed to work.

 But you know how Conservatives Conservatives are always aft gang agleying their best laid plans? Well,  things didn’t go so smoothly and it looks like nobody turned their homework in so the Directors have sent out Erick the Red State, Scourge of the Impure, to issue a very very very stern “we’re not kidding – we’re totally serious” warning:

A few weeks ago, the Directors of this site published this post seeking answers to ten questions from the candidates for RNC Chairman.

We are still waiting.

Here is my compromise plan. I’ve heard from a few of you that you are bogged down in Morton Blackwell’s questionnaire. I’ve seen it. I’m sympathetic. Send us a copy of your answers to him and we will be placated.

But pick one or the other or both.

Obviously Michael Steele, Ken Blackwell, and the other guys who are running for RNC chair (because they can’t get elected to any real positions of power) don’t realize who they are dealing with and therefore risk incurring The Wrath of Red State which can only mean that they can kiss a collectible set of personalized Red State ceramic coffee mugs goodbye.

Suck on that bitches. That’s right…that’s right. Uh hunh.

(To be followed with awkward white guy high fives and chest bumps)