Grace Slick can play crazy great-aunt Wanda, Tommy Shaw can play her tetched-in-the-head boarder Gus, and Dennis DeYoung can play Rev. Wiener, the strange Episcopal priest at St. Dominatrix parish.

And BonJovi can play Spud, the bartender.

sorry. should’ve issued a barf alert…

Here’s where I have to defend the 80’s from this crime against everything and everyone I hold dear. Well, not really. I mean these songs were either all or mostly from “the 80s”, but I had the same relationship to them as I had to Patrick Swayze movies — they made everything worse, but it was basically an annoyance rather than an epoch-defining cultural moment (’cept that Joan Jett song. She’s the fucking balls).

But to me, and I suspect most of you, the 1980’s were a massively underrated time for music. The Mats, Husker Du, Joy Division/New Order, The Pixies, Dinosaur Jr., Sonic Youth, Public Enemy, Black Flag, Minutemen, Bad Brains, The Smiths, The Cure, etc. Your milage may vary, of course, and there are tons of bands I’m not thinking about or listing at the moment. To think that London Calling came out around the time of those Journey songs should put it in a better perspective.

You could have grown up and existed in a happy (well, slightly angsty and rebellious) alternate universe from this broadway shit, which was even at the time thought of, and known, as broadway-style bullshit.

What I really dread actually, is that Broadway decides to take on CBGB: The Musical.

Surprised they left out “The Heart of Rock & Roll” by Loopey Lewis & The News and Eddie Murphy’s “Party All the Time”.

“We Built This City” – Starship
“Nothing But a Good Time” – Poison
“Keep On Lovin’ You” – REO Speedwagon
“(Just Like) Livin’ in Paradise” – David Lee Roth
“I Wanna Rock” – Twisted Sister
“Too Much Time on My Hands” – Styx
“Renegade” – Styx
“I Hate Myself for Loving You” – Joan Jett
“Oh Sherrie” – Steve Perry
“Waiting For a Girl Like You” – Foreigner
“Shadows of the Night” – Pat Benatar
“Don’t Stop Believin’” – Journey
“Heaven” – Warrant
“The Search is Over” – Survivor
“We’re Not Gonna Take It” – Twisted Sister
“High Enough” – Damn Yankees
“The Final Countdown” – Europe
“I Want to Know What Love Is” – Foreigner
“Harden My Heart” – Quarterflash
“Here I Go Again” – Whitesnake
“To Be With You” – Mr. Big
“Every Rose Has Its Thorn” – Poison
“Hit Me With Your Best Shot” – Pat Benatar
“Can’t Fight This Feeling” – REO Speedwagon
“Wanted Dead or Alive” – Bon Jovi
“Cum On Feel the Noize” – Quiet Riot
“Any Way You Want It” – Journey
“Heat of the Moment” – Asia
“Sister Christian” – Night Ranger
“More Than Words” – Extreme

I sure hope that Mr. Big song segues into the one they used to play with a power drill, just so there’s a chance of a really dangerous accident.