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It’s that time of year again.
Time for the always-entertaining, feverishly-sought-after, not-worth-jack-squat-diddly-poop Weblog Awards! Yay! for awards that are slightly less meaningful than winning Miss Wasilla Unwed Mother of the Year and slightly more meaningful than anything that Ryan Seacrest has ever done or will ever do in his lifetime.
For those of you have been keeping score at home, you may remember (check your notes) that I won one last year beating out Steve Benen who, in his shame, was forced to go to take a paying job blogging at Washington Monthly. I also beat out some jewish guy and McMegan’s old blog where she advocated beating hippies with two by fours . How did I win? Puppy pictures. Lots of dog and puppy pictures, like this:
Cute, hunh?
This year I’m nominated for Best Major Blog (Authority over 1001) and, no, I don’t have any fucking idea what that ‘authority’ thing means. I mean, when I won that 2007 AVN award for Best Actor In A Scene Without Amputees, we had a fairly good idea of the criteria involved. This year in BMBAO1001K I find myself up against PostSecret which won Best Blog last year and 2007’s Best Individual Blogger The Ole Perfesser who proved that all you need is a dream, a "heh", and a "indeed" and the world is your oyster… if you happen to like slimy bivalves that breed vibrio vulnificus like a Duggar on a hot summer night when the kids are away at Jesus Camp. Oh, that reminds me, I’m also up against a Mormon chick this year.
Always with the religion, these people….
Since I have little hope of winning this year, I have a simple goal: get more votes for Best Major Blogger (Authority over 1001blahblahblah) than Chris Muir gets for Day By Day in the Best Comic Strip competition.
I deserve nothing less.
No really. It would suck to get less votes than Muir. Horrible. Awful. Embarrassing. Like being Erick Erickson for a day. That kind of bad.
And remember: last year George Soros gave everyone who voted for me a Miata. I happen to know that he’s got a bunch of Segways just sitting in a warehouse. You… a Segway… 12 miles per hour? Need I say more?
I think we understand each other. Oh yeah. You. Me. Wavelength. We’re on it…
This could be you. But way way cooler….
19 Comments
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I’m not sure how the word “authority” applies to Instapundit and the rest of the crowd in your category, TBogg. In your case, it means that you are infallible when speaking ex cathedra on matters of faith and bassets.
Shorter Tbogg: Respect mah authority!
We came, we saw, we voted. It’ll be a landslide. (Though that Mormon woman’s blog is kinda interesting…)
I am sorry, Tbogg, I have to vote for Balloon Juice.
Hey, I think cjane enjoy it is hacking this category.
Yeah, who the hell is cjane, and why does she have over 50% of the votes? She doesn’t even show her puppies.
I’d never even heard of her! And dammit, that says something, since I have been anointed Mrs. Too-Much-Time-on-Her-Hands by every exhausted adult I know.
Tbogg rolls!
Oh, and tbogg, thx for that link to the AVN Awards, you wanker. Another one of those high-value sites that make the web *so* worth surfing. A bunch of tubes indeed…
Now, if only Netflix would carry “Weapons of Ass Destruction IV” (Title of the Year, surely?) these dreary winter days would just fly by.
If Chris Muir drew some bassets breast feeding, he would win hands down. And anyone that can work vibrio vulnificus into political snark deserves to win. Go Tbogg!
I would miss the Koufaxes if it was not guaranteed to be a replay of the primary war, at least in the nomination stage.
I’m going around to every unattended computer in the office and using ‘em to vote for you, big guy. If I don’t get fired, it will be worth it.
Of course I am voting for you.
BTW: I’m voting for rumproast for Best Small Blog (Nice Deb is being freeped in that category). In Best Liberal Blog, anything but the Confluence.
The Authority thing is determined by the sneaky folk over at Technorati.com who snoop through your underwear drawer (yes, they found the pictures) to determine how many distinct other blogs have linked to yours over the last some specific period of time (sorry, eyeballs were glazing over at the description of how the ratings are determined).
Apparently, having a rating above 1,001 puts you in the “Major Blog” category. Congratulations, Major.
Muir gets more views from critics than fappers.
A comment on this “award”. The categories, the blogs assigned to them are ridiculous. People who won last year have been re-assigned, the humor category omits most of the truly funny websites, and lastly the jamming of really different type sites into best liberal blog. What are TPM, Wonkette, and Sadly No doing in the same category?
I will vote for sites I like, but these awards need a serious overhaul of their assignment process.
See, I would totally vote for you if you were still giving out the Miatas. I’ve wanted one for twenty years and I don’t give a rip if they’re girl cars.
“Best Comic Strip”? WTF? Why not put a “Sales Leader For The Upper Midwest Region” or “Best Use Of A Pet Rock In A Ballet” category while they’re at it? Oh, I get it; it’s not exactly a log, but it is on the web. Boy oh boy, I bet that Scott Adams is really kicking himself for not working in a little double-lactation action into his strip.
Anyway. My suggestion: do a little astroturfing and suggest to wingnuts that they should vote for you in revenge for this fine stunt.
I’m from Chicago: buy my fucking vote!
Comic blog catagory: vote for XKCD.
My vote(s) for Tbogg was never in doubt.
How the fuck am I going to get all the leggy models on a Segway?
It’s by the Wizbang boys. What else would you expect? This is really about crashing the party; the Koufaxes matter.
C Jane must have Sadly No behind her.