I coffeed all over my screen

Wow, can you imagine the staff meetings with this crew? I believe the term circle jerk was created for just such an event. (Or clusterfuck if circle jerk is not evocative enough).

Plenty evocative, thanks so much.

With this group pressuring Hollywood, it’ll be no time at all before zombie Howard Hawks is making movies where we are winning countless victories against the forces of Muslimism.

I liked Double Indemnity too. I even think Fred MacMurray was a really underrated actor. Imagine my surprise to find out that makes me a conservative! How come these movies from the forties are conservative anyway? I thought all the writers and directors were commies back then.

There’s an article on movie marketing in this week’s New Yorker. Turns out these days, movies get the green light not based on somebody’s artistic vision, or because Those People are forcing their values on the rest of us, but when the marketing people decide they can cut together a 15-second commercial that communicates to a large number of people that THIS movie is a lot like THAT movie that you liked. So the power is in the hands of the salespeople who want something they can easily sell. Sounds like free market capitalism, no?

I know I’m stating the obvious, these guys really are clueless. I read every post, and I’m now ill.
And isn’t that Orson “orgone box” Bean? A religion a year, and no one can remember why he’s a celebrity.

Wow, I read every post as well, and really, has there ever been so much “suck” in one place? My review of this site will plagerize the two-word review of Spinal Tap’s album Shark Sandwich.

Shit Sandwich.

When the Sadlys do shorters for America’s Shittiest Website, they at least can expect the clown car to disgorge new talking points that reflect current events in some fashion. I think it will turn out with “HO Scale” Hollywoodopolooza, given the same pablum that has been produced by the entertainment industry for years and years, they will only have the same gripes available to be repeated ad infinitum (very much like Hollywood formulas themselves).

My point being, you need only do one “Shorter” and whenever you feel the need to reference them you just need link back to it, leaving you more time for photoshopping basset penises.

Debbie’s review of “Defiance” contains this aside, about which I would really like to hear more: “Gun control is what made it harder for the Bielskis to survive and fight–they needed to steal guns in the wake of laws that prevented Jews from owning them. This is why I used to speak at the NRA convention about the Bielskis (I’ve since been barred from the group at NRA Islamofascist board member Grover Norquist’s insistence.)”

That seems on a par with Charles Johnson banning from LGF comments about Obama’s birth certificate — i.e., a cataclysmic occurrence of common sense where it was never seen before.

Reading Breitbart’s site causes retardation. Writing on Breitbart’s site proves it succeeded.

“I’m not funny. I mean, I’m second-banana to Greg Gutfeld not funny. How fucked up is that?”

Totally fucked up. Have you ever had the misfortune to watch the late-night “Red Eye” on Fox News “starring” (and I use that term loosely) Greg Gutfeld? This guy is so lame, so not funny, it’s just cringe worthy. The equally unfunny guests, desperate for the gig I guess, laugh their asses off at everything Greg sez.

Conservatives just aren’t funny. Period.

Grover Norquist is an Islamofascist? Who knew?

Or is “Islamofascist” a euphemism for “poopy-head”? If so, I totally agree with Debbie. In fact, that would make Debbie an Islamofascist, too.

Oh, please! Let’s have a Schlussel-Norquist lumberjack match. Falls count anywhere!

Jon David says that Jon David “kicks ass”.

I also understand that Jon David says Jon David “rules”, Jon David “rocks”, Jon David is “sah-weet”, and Jon David “like totally wants to have about a million babies with Jon David”.

I actually think that Jon David gives me “douche chills”.

(Who the f**k is Jon David, anyway?)

And isn’t that Orson “orgone box” Bean? A religion a year, and no one can remember why he’s a celebrity.

Wow, things I learn from coming to this site [and visiting that one:

a) that Orson Bean is still alive
b) that he’s an idiot
c) that he’s an even bigger idiot than I thought. “Orgone box”???

Well, I for one applaud your laying the table with a veritable smorgasbord of blithering idiocy from which to choose. For sure, nobody should try to take one of everything offered up by your post. One should choose only a couple of items to sample, mindful of the potential for complete synaptic overload should more than 4 or 5 of these “articles” be ingested at one sitting. I chose only 3 or 4, including the one by Mr. Bean (no, not THAT Mr. Bean).

To wit: “Gary Larson could have gone on using his old Far Side cartoons to make calendars forever. People like me would have kept buying them. But this year, he apparently decided he had enough dough and pulled the plug. “

Good one if, by “this year” you mean 1995. I tried to wade through the comments to see if anybody had brought this to his attention but after 30 or 40…feh.

These people are really, REALLY funny. Please keep walking point for us so we can keep abreast of the latest developments.

Laughing too hard to type.
But you did miss this from the proprietor

“Prolific Gutfeld and Orson are the site’s Omar Sharif and Erma Bombeck.”

Too bad Kitty Carlisle isn’t contributing. From the grave.

Hooray for Charles Johnson!

B”H Robert Avrech was spared from this wrapup.

wasn’t Orson Bean more of a raconteur than a celebrity? and i would add

d. Orson might not be gay. I always assumed he was

Oh yes, I’d forgotten about that. His wackjob/raconteur credentials are impeccable.

“I’m going to write about my dates with Hollywood starlets. Except the starlets won’t fuck me because I’m a conservative so there will be no happy endings.”

Hehe.

What, they’re out of Star Trek third-stringers already?