You can’t order in? Have a picnic on the beach? An overnight at the Hotel Del with dinner overlooking the ocean?

Try harder.

Its ok, even a week or two ago was too late. I’m stuck at home with the lovely and talented Maya as well as Mr. Aimai and I’m graciously cooking the whole damn thing. Risotto cakes, duck in a port/sour cherry sauce, etc..etc…etc… But you might get away with going and standing in line someplace and telling her you thought *that* would be romantic.

Or not.

aimai

Is this a night WHEN republiKKKanz take out their wives or their bfs?

Dude, two words:

foot rub

You can thank me later.

I’d skip the dining out part & go straight to the handcuffs and the love to suffer bit & take my punishment like a man…but that’s just me…

I can never remember – are weekends for the wife or the goomar?

Up for a drive? Try an early getaway scuttling up PCH followed by a lovely fresh seafood dinner under the stars literally at Neptune’s Net. Can stay over in Malibu or drive further to Oxnard, it’s what we used to do. Bring the doggies if you’d like, they love having them at the Net. Dress warmly.

You think he’s gonna get a foot rub without the romantic dinner?

Oh.

The reading from the Book of Allen reminds me of the time I argued in a philosophy class that Hobbes was actually pulling everyone’s leg, and was really a prankster at heart. When asked to explain this unusual viewpoint, I expounded on my theory that the Catskills joke at the beginning of Annie Hall – “Boy, the food here is really terrible.” “Yeah, and such small portions.” – is a direct descendant of Hobbes’ famous “This is the life of man – solitary, poor nasty, brutish, and short.”

I got points for originality…

Oh Noes!
Don’t cancel the bouncy castle!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNgL0E2BFEM

I understand the Loews Coronado Bay Resort is outstanding (has to be, they don’t list rates on their web site). And you can even bring the dogs!

My Mafia friend always said Friday night is comata night and Saturday night is wife night.

I scored. Called Tuesday night and got a table for 830 at my second-choice restaurant, but still one that has sentimental significance for us.

Happy Valentines day! Here´s my wish for you and the “Missus”:

“Attention gonads, we´re going for seconds.”

…it looks like that six pack of midgets I ordered won’t go to waste after all….

See, that’s what’s so great about California. You can just order midgets anywhere. Here in Utah you have to book them through a state-run midget store.

Well. Here at casa soonergrunt, I am my 10-year-old daughter are home by ourselves. I have pneumonia and she has a staff infection. So it’s dad and daughter competitive puking, water drinking with erythromycin shooters, and a lovely dessert of bread and chicken broth.
Wife and son are at Grandma and Grandpa’s house to help them celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary.
The bitter irony is that the fourteen year old boy would rather be here with the xbox, and the daughter and I would rather be at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

I solved this whole problem as a Church Historian by explaining to my wife that today is actually the Feast of Saints Cyril and Methodius, Apostles to the Slavs and Rus, and that no chocolate or flowers are involved.

I got the biggest bouquet of the biggest red roses I ever saw in my life.

So there.

And that was just for Arizona Statehood Day.

The stupid florist was supposed to deliver freesia. We got half-dead lilies instead, suitable for the funeral of that guy in the office who still owes you fifteen bucks and you’re pretty sure he stole your watch. My partner’s allergic, the smell of them gives me migraines, the florist is not apologizing. I’d be in trouble for screwing up the flowers, but my partner screwed up dinner so we ended up at Happy Teriyaki. We’re not cheap, just lame. We’re gonna take another shot at Valentine’s next week, and we’ll console ourselves today with excellent chocolates… and new sheets.

Valentine’s is just a day, kids. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Long time no see!

I screwed up, too. I did not pay enough attention to the free music around town. This is OK because my husband got home in time for Star Trek. Yes, I am sure he has seen every episode twenty times.

(At some point we are going to sit down and watch “Best of Both Worlds” because he picked out a Star Trek novel at the store in which Picard uses his Borg sense left over from the Locutus days. It was actually fairly professionally written.)

Sade-on-the-stereo

When did the Marquis cut some tunes?

Sushihana in Rancho Penasquitos. Go early.

When did the Marquis cut some tunes?

LOL

You could probably get a good approximation with one of those Halloween sound effect records.

My son was thoughtful enough to be born on Valentine’s Day, thus saving his parents from concerning themselves with romance ever again. We spent the day feeding vast quantities of junk food to screeching preschoolers. No one ended up hospitalized, so I consider it a success. Now I’ll finish off my romantic holiday by drifting peacefully to sleep in the arms of Extra Strength Tylenol.

I kept my last ex-husband around for a whole extra year. Just for the foot rubs.

::

I’ve been around. I’m doing the windows 7 beta on my laptop, and working like a dog–or was until this week.
How goes?

This was our first married Valentine’s Day! We went to the big city to hear PZ Myers speak at the Humanist Banquet. It was wonderful. I took lots of notes, my husband asked if it would be on the test.

The food was good, the speaker was great and even though people looked at me like we were aliens when they asked what we were doing and I said my husband was taking me to a Biology Lecture – it was the best.

I went to bed this evening with the idea that I’d read a few paragraphs of a new book and drift off to sleep (it’s 2:00 AM Monday morning here in Oz).

Instead, I found myself so shocked and appalled at what I was reading that I am convinced that I am reading the most important book my life.

The book is entitled “The Prosecution Of George Bush For Murder” by Vincent Bugliosi. Some may remember Mr. Bugliosi as the chief prosecutor of the Manson murder trial and author of “Helter Skelter,” his eyewitness account of that trial.

No doubt that Mr. Bugliosi is a typical self-aggrandizing, publicity-seeking attorney, but it is his anger that gives this work a feel unlike any other I’ve read.

Mr. Bugliosi is pissed. Fucking pissed. Pissed enough to compile a 249-page case against Chimpy McKillallthedarkies, with another 95 pages of endnotes.

I’m only 47 pages in and my rage and incredulity at the mendacity of these murdering terrorist fuckwads is absolute and without limit.

This is obviously Mr. Bugliosi’s intent, delivering a powerful and emotional opening statement to set up the facts of the case.

And the facts of the case are these: Bush lied us into a war that is second only to Vietnam in its length, stupidity, savagery and betrayal of the troops, the people and the Constitution.

But even Vietnam wasn’t this stupid, the result of a pissing match between a draft-dodging perennial fuckup and a tinpot dictator on the order of any number of despots in Africa and Asia.

So Chimpy McHetriedtokillmydad ginned up a conflict that has cost the US thousands of lives, tens of thousands of broken physical and mental cripples, trillions of dollars, our international standing and any sense of moral leadership going forward.

Other than that, no big whoop.

The fact that the current “administration” continues to fail to take action against this murderous savage and his sycophantic lackeys merely serves to emphasize its moral bankruptcy in the face of its support for FISA, the USA PATRIOT Act and ratcheting up the war in Afghanistan, a lesser but no less evil war crime and crime against humanity.

America will never be the same. We’ve lost everything our fathers, grandfathers and forefathers fought for to establish a true Republic where life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were the common goals of all who came to America to seek a better life for themselves, their families and the world at large.

Let’s not forget that Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon all paid for their criminality in Vietnam in one way or another. Chimpy McDestroythemooslims, on the other hand, retires to an all-white suburb of Dallas to count his millions and write a memoir that will do its level best to whitewash the evil of his deeds.

He needs to write that memoir from a 7×7 cage at the Supermax facility in Colorado. After all, the entire history of all the civilian murderers in the world cannot compare to the slaughter ordered by this dry-drunk, coke-sniffing absolute failure of a human being.

Even the death penalty would not be sufficient. He needs to be administered the full Ludovico Technique every hour of every day for the rest of his life. Even then he could not come within light-years of viewing all of the wretched, violent deaths he so casually caused.

And yet, he’ll skate. Obambi (in this case the moniker is completely justified–a deer fawn would probably be more outraged at these atrocities than Mr. Bipartisan Compromise) has shown that the principles of the unitary executive are here to stay and he has no intention of letting his own “presidency” bear the kind of scrutiny it would take to bring Chimpy McCheneysbitch to justice.

Not revenge. JUSTICE.

Anyway, that’s my rant. The anger of the American people at this diabolical regime is the only path to obtaining that justice for all those whose lives have been ended far too soon because of this wretched creature.

Get mad.

PS–in response to Jim D. Adkisson’s insane philosophy that liberalism is the death of his America, let the record show that Pennsylvania, New York and California had provided Chimpy McNationaldefenestrator with more cold, dead bodies than Texas, Florida, Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina and Mississippi had as of March 2007.

Let’s do what they do and kill their benighted philosophy once and for all by bringing its perpetrators to justice.

I ask you, what kind of restaurant accepts reservations for a Saturday night when it’s not even open on Saturdays?

It’s a good thing I had sex appeal to fall back on.