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With a bunch of Young Republicans with too much time on their hands and no marketable skills doing nothing except hanging out in bars and running through their trust funds Jägerbomb by Jägerbomb, we should expect huge crowds for Friday’s Great American Teabagging Cotillion.

We can only hope that events like this will keep them out of gangs (Dartmouth 603 Hayekians represent, yo) because the stimulus bill included no money for Midnight Squash leagues.