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With only seventy-two hours or so before America gets teabagged by conservatives the teabagggers are getting all hard-nippled with excitement as their big day approaches. After Wednesday, NOTHING IN AMERICA WILL EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN because thousands of Americans scattered over hundreds of cities will take to the streets in a mighty wave and try that protesting thing that is always so effective.
Remember how world opinion ended the Iraq war in 2003? That was so cool.
In the meantime we get three days of claims, boasting, chest-thumping and the usual hilarity from the usual suspects.
Jane Hamsher and Oliver Willis are probably asking “Who the hell are(sic) this Tea Party bunch? Where did they come from?” I’ll tell you who they are, Jane and Oliver. They’re your worst nightmare: they’re small-governmenters first and party-loyalists second.
I won’t pretend to know what the hell that worst nightmare comment is supposed to mean but I for one are not am afraid. Also.
GayPatriotWest (not to be confused with GayPatriotNorthByNorthwest or GayPatriotWesternBaconCheeseburger):
As the tea party movement gains momentum, many supports of the President (and opponents of free markets) are becoming increasingly agitated, eager to smear, slander and otherwise discredit the movement.
For those who wisely chose to not click through GPW’s links, the first is to state of Tennessee employee Glenn Reynolds who has staked out quite a bit of territory bitching about government pork and wasteful spending for what seems like eighteen hours a day while on the peoples dime. He’s like one of those serial killers who leave clues because he wants to be caught ("Stop me before I ‘heh indeed‘ again"). Then again he has a stake in the success of the teaparties since he’s financially tied to PajamasTV who have thrown their indescribably ginourmous new media weight behind the bagging.
The other link goes to hate homunculette Michelle Malkin who has an uncanny ability to see evil lurking in the most unlikely places. According to the miniscule fear freak, hordes of crazies are going to descend upon the tea parties in an effort to make the teabaggers look…. well, stupider if that’s possible. And those are just the Glenn Beck fans. Just wait until the dirty fucking hippies infiltrate and try and engage the mostly white middle-aged teabaggers in some rhythmic clapping and slogan chanting. I’ve been to James Taylor concerts where these people try to clap along. It’s not pretty. It’s sad and horrifying, but mostly sad.
But my favorite is from the gloriously obtuse fake doctor Melissa Clouthier:
Tea Parties & More: Putting Money, Time & Energy Where Our Mouths Are
Awesome.
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When oh when will these people also do Dirty Sanchez parties? Please, Baby Jesus. I need to see that live on Fox or else I will know there is no God. Thank you.
Tea bags are for “twittiots.”
Oh. Mah. Gah.
::
Dirty Sanchez is so 2007. I’m thinkin’ more along the lines of Cleveland Steamer parties.
I hope their tongues are ribbed, for my pleasure.
People keep missing the big news here! TBogg goes to James Taylor concerts!
fauxmaxbaer, you owe me a new keyboard.
If Dr. Clouthier is as adept at chiropractic as she is at blogging, I feel sorry for her patients.
I doubt she tea bags very well either.
From the good doctor:
“Also, I think that everyone–both elected officials (Republicans included) and the Left–is underestimating the fury. Yes. Fury.”
Sorry, there is no way on God’s green earth that teabagging will ever be equated with fury.
No. This is fury:
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”
For a moment there I read it as “underestimating the furry. Yes. Furry.” And it all made more sense somehow. But Fury? With a tea bag? It’s like a riot at an assisted living facility: “More. Shortbread. Fewer. Naps. More Shortbread. Fewer. Naps.” The teabaggers are about as fear-inducing as a kitten with a ball of yarn. Only a lot less cute.
I am in guffaw overdrive. OK, teabag me, but I get to pick my “teacup”.
From the “About” drop down on Dr. Melissa’s blog:
Yes, pushing that plastic skeleton on it’s rolling cart around the mall is much easier without pantyhose and high heels. Except if you go too fast, the books of Free Orange-Julius-with-Every-Neck-Crackin’ coupons tend to fall off the shelf and scatter everywhere. And I agree it would be cool to be a plastic surgeon. Or an astronaut. Or a sane person.
GayPatriot is just desperately hoping that somebody, anybody, will teabag him (it would be the first time he had sex with anyone else).
I suggest we support Glenn Reynolds’ efforts to end wasteful government spending by aggressively lobbying the state of Tennessee to fire his useless ass. They grounds as he seems to be using state facilities (computers, office, maybe telephone, etc.) for personal purposes (his shitty blog).
I think some here are missing the point that there is actually a shady corporate motivation behind these seemingly amusing “tea parties” that heralds the rise of a new corporate Evil Empire to take the place of such earlier behemoths as Halliburton and AIG.
By eliminating massive quantities of dry, bagged tea, the Snapple Co. will soon have a monopoly on America’s tea supply. This will not stand!
“Tea Parties & More: Putting Money, Time & Energy Where Our Mouths Are”
And let’s not forget, testicles.
Homunculette Michelle Malkin. Priceless.
Wow, they are going to take a hard fall. Wait until they find out that 100,000 marching past the White House barely makes the news, and has exactly zero effect on policy.
Demonstrators march in several cities to end Iraq war
Of course, to the media, 1 wingnut = 250 liberals, so if they manage to gather 100,000 teabaggers, that will get equivalent coverage to 25,000,000 liberals.
Supporters of Iraq war gather in D.C.
Two protests. Two stories. Fair and balanced.
GayPatriotWest (not to be confused with GayPatriotNorthByNorthwest or GayPatriotWesternBaconCheeseburger)
I think it’s an oblique reference to this, or maybe to this guy.
Yes, well, so do I. One of my best friends noted that he “likes the idea of James Taylor more than James Taylor.”
I have a whole canister of stale teabags to toss at wingnuts right here in D.C.!
Will this fury translate into burning their W-2’s and not filing their Federal taxes? ‘Cause that would be very like the anti-Vietnam War protests. And the IRS would take away their homes…
White House is planning a bigger photo op tomorrow with Bo. It’s gonna suck playing 2nd fiddle to the Obama puppy. The upside of this will be another humiliating expose into how the Right has devolved into a small pocket of simpletons.
On first read, I thought you were talking about one of her clients/patients.
PS: should be “its.” No apostrophe needed for possessive personal pronouns. His, hers, yours, etc.
Oh, I do dearly hope so. That would lead to legions of these loons being thrown into prison where they can finally get the psychiatric care they so desperately need.
Heh, at government expense. It’s almost enought to make me go galt. *g*
Realized that as soon as I hit “send”. And I’m a writer for God’s sake. Sigh, must preview. Must preview.
My worst nightmares frequently feature small governmenters, to tell the truth. But they’re usually small governmenters first and scary clowns second, not party loyalists.
I’m all for the Teabaggers. Especially if they cut the MIC budget by 75%.
I believe that these guys are RIGHT! I think that so many people are going to show up for these protests that they should take the opportunity to form A NEW PARTY! The Tea Party would be an EXCELLENT place for all those who watch Fox and listen to Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Beck!
Everyone involved in these Tea Parties should be urged to form a new national political party, the Tea Party. That would be excellent!
trailers
most excellent. . .
Tea Parties & More: Putting Money, Time & Energy Where Our Mouths Are
they have an inscrotumable way with words and images, don’t they?
And somewhere in Baltimore, in the back booth of a strip mall Chinese take out restaurant, bathed in red light, with the crimson naugehyde of the seat sticking damply to his leg, John Waters, his face hidden behind a fan-shaped menu, giggles maniacally, thanking the holy trinity of Sophie Tucker, Jane Oliver and Divine that he, John Waters, wrote ‘Pecker’…
Life. Is. Good.
“Republicans have become embarrassing to watch. And it doesn’t feel right to make fun of crazy people.” – Paul Krugman in Tea Parties Forever
so any guess on tomorrow’s teabag attendance? 300 nationally? 30?
Maybe we should dispatch some volunteers in suits and dark glasses to conspicuously take notes and film video footage.. just to fuel wingnut paranoia about the alleged apocryphal crypto-Acorn-Obama conspiracy to violate the human rights of rethugs everywhere ;-P
their heroes: Sack-o and Vendetta
Teabagging USA
I’ll bet the Beach Boys and Charles Manson could write a nifty song about that.
he’s seen lonely days that he thought would never end.
Don’t dare sleep with my mouth open…
Really lets compare the size of the tea baggers crowds with the crowds McCain and Sarah got in the same state to see if the GOP movement is getting bigger.
Then lets compare the size of the tea bagger crowds with the crowds Obama got when campaigning in the same state…then we shall Really See Just Whom Surrounds Whom!
Bwahahaha! I bet Fox never makes that comparison! Lets see if any of the bought and paid for Media makes that comparison.
Lets see if the Tea Baggers can even change the Approval Polls Obama has, a sustained change for a month or more of down 5% in the polls would convince me that the Tea Baggers have had an impact beyond the statistical static.
There I said it I said what I would consider a tea bagger victory ahead of the protest lets see if they can deliver. I’m betting No.
The GOP has never said what they would consider a victory for the Tea Bagger movement.
Just having the McCain, Sarah crowds show up again still leaves the GOP with the same people in the election who supported McCain and Sarah and they still hate Obama gosh what a surprise?
In order to win a Presidential Election the GOP needs bigger crowds than that. But without the fever of a Presidential election I doubt the GOP can even get McCain, Sarah sized crowds.
The GOP have set themselves up for failure.
Everyone should have a hobby.
More tales of the insane clown posse. It amazes me that they are too stupid to be ashamed of themselves. Seriously too stupid to breathe.
After the tea bagger rally Obama should do a town hall meeting in the State with the biggest Tea Bagger crowd. Just to rub it in.
They like being the Coyote that chases the Road Runner and never catches him? Meep! Meep!
60’s: turn on, tune in and drop out
now: Lipton, dip it in, mope about
I wonder if the Tea Baggers are bagging themselves…or making us an Offer *Brrr! Ick!*
I’d rather be tbogg’d !
AND THE KILLIN’ GOEZ ON AND ON AND…
Citizen TBogg and the Firepup Freedom Fighters:
Oh boy…is it Wednesday yet??!!!
But seriously folks, this old broken down Scandanavian-American has been callin’ for an anti-fascist front that identifies the crypto-Nazis that have been mainstreamed in the last 28 years and makes elections referenda on fascism and democracy…but it’s too late, I’m afraid, because this astro-turffed “teabagging” episode is jest another event in the constant barrage of bullshit that keeps these fascist tropes in front of the cameras and reinforces the image of a real movement.
We are closer now to a real putsch than we were the day after the last election…and that was supposed to be the election that delegitimized the “conservative movement”. Violent and hatefull “events” though they be small and rediculous will continue to attract the megaphones of the corporate media and empower lunatics to take guns after all the “aliens and traitors”…as these “events become more and more frequent and the “randaom acts of violence” become accepted parts of this “mass movement”…we will have a crisis of law enforcement and eventually counter-demonstrations that will lead to citizen on citizen violence in the streets.
When that happens, the legitimacy of the current executive will be challenged and the elected officials and appointed judiciary that represent this small but very organized minority will be able to use the institutions and processes of democracy to bring everything to a grinding hault and force the government to move against these psychopaths.
A new party? Limpy Limbaugh owns and operates the Republic Party already. He doesn’t have time for a new one. Perhaps he could just add tea party stuff to the Republic platform.
I’d rather be anything but tea bagged by Malikn or Glen Beck.
I’d be suprised if either was capable of doing that to you anyway.
Damm Straight it would be the last thing they tried to do.
The usual cheery Scandhoovian perspective. Where’s Ingmar?
Since they stole 2M4M from someone else, do you think that they just stole your identity and turned Tbogg into something hairy?
they’ll have to pry the teabags out of my cold dead hands.
Do not underestimate the Dark Side of the Farce… thanks to the corporate media push it seems theoretically possible that they could have well over 75000+ teabaggers.
That high end seems unlikely to me but remember that you’re betting against human stupidity…
Do these people seriously not know that the vast majority of them are about to have their taxes reduced?
If only these”TEABAGGERS”would go to youtube and punch in teabagging,to only see their reactions,Priceless wouldn’t be the word.
What I’m wondering is whose balls are going in whose mouths? Will Glenn be the top this time? I can see him squatting on Hannochio’s tired mug.
It’s hard for me not to relate this to the “tea-sippers” nickname used for my high school, many of whose students came from the wealth neighborhoods of Houston. I think we should use it instead of “tea-baggers.”
Ditto!
*That* is a classic line which should be repeated off and on forever! Now, finally now, he has really earned his Oscar, er Nobel prize.
Shhhh, don’t tell them. Let it be a surprise.
.
Welcome to the Third World. Well, at least the tea is good, as in Thailand. The “loyal opposition,” not so much… More like here.
CONSERVATIVES BURN DOWN AMERICA
.
i’ve got a feeling mAnn Coulter is going to be one busy little girl(?) wednesday
My husband once dropped acid and went to a James Taylor concert. He had to leave because it was too much like sensory deprivation.
Michel Malken adrift in 3 inch scones and Earl Grey’s bags
party on