Jesus Christ, even salt of the earth construction workers here in NYC get spicy mustard. Do these assholes just think everything is a Grey Poupon commercial?

What they’d really like to do is make fun of his haircut, but they’re not quite sure how to go about it.

Jeebus, he’s got five updates (and counting) on what he’s christened “Dijongate” (with graphic), including this stupidity:

UPDATE No. 4:He ordered a cheddar cheese burger with Dijon Mustard on his first flight on Air Force One, and the mainstream media didn’t cover it. You know the sorry state of journalism when People Magazine is the only hard news coverage…

Everyone knows that all good capitalists should order the same identical plain boring mustard as everyone else.

Only a communist would believe that each person is free to choose from the myriad choices of condiments out there.

As a patriot, someone who loves freedom and choice above all else, I demand that the gov’t pass a law dictating that hamburgers can only be serves with French’s yellow mustard. If they fail to do this, I will go Galt and refuse to buy any mustard at all. Then you’ll all be sorry.

I’d love to be a fly on the wall at one of his faculty meetings. You can just smell the douche-bag on him. I’m sure his esteemed colleagues have noticed as well.

Gawd, their ignorance is tiresome.

I still remember in 2004 when Candy Crowley said John Kerry was out of touch with “most of America” because he ordered green tea in Iowa. In fact, green tea could be purchased in supermarkets everywhere, including the Dubuque Kmart.

Shouldn’t you have to have eaten something more than corn dogs with ketchup before you’re allowed to associate with other grown-ups?

That airforce one thing is from a video from National Geographic, available for months on Youtube, featured on dozens of websites, and no doubt aired on TV at some point, so I don’t think you have to rely on “People” just quite yet…unless of course, you are a wingnut and you systematically avoid anything quasi-liberal like National Geographic, what with its celebration of nature and culture.

But, that is besides the point. The idea that preferred mustard choice is “hard news coverage” is laughable. Well, actually, in wingnuttia, it might actually qualify as hard news considering what else they “report”. (Heck, its probably the first thing they’ve said about Obama that is actually true!)

But, on the plus side, its now only a matter of days before Fox News is promoting that mustard parties be held across the land in protest of Dijongate. I for one am looking forward to the crowds of crazies wearing hats with little packets of mustard hanging off them.

When food is served and it’s not to my liking, I just tend to not eat, get drunk, and not bother anyone about it.

I’m never going to get that Wingnut Merit Badge, am I?

When Republicans want to contrast their patriotism with Obama’s obvious foreigner-loving evil by slathering their hotdog in some good old American mustard from a plastic yellow squeeze bottle, how do they cope with the fact that it says “French’s” on the side? It must make them shit their brains.

This reflects one of my biggest peeves with “cultural conservatives”–they really think everything between the Appalachian and Sierra Nevada mountain ranges is an Amish theme park. The same with that jerkoff Tom Wolfe, whose novel I am Charlotte Simmons assumes the same thing–poor lil backwoods people know nothing. Not only do they hold this ignorance (in fairness, they hold it with many other people of different political persuasions), but they believe that their feelings towards The Flyover People reflects warm affection, instead of smug arrogance. Jesus Christ, I can walk from my house to a DOLLAR STORE that sells green tea. They can all f**k off.

i’m just bummed that he asked for mustard at all.

the condiment-free among us need representation too, ya know!

Why call it Arugula? Here in Britain the leaf is called ‘Rocket’. Can’t get manlier than a ‘rocket salad’. Brings to mind images of lantern-jawed supermen with a stogie in the corner of their mouth and shouldering an M-72 launcher.

“How embarrassing for his wife when they attend faculty dinners and she has to bring along chicken strips and ranch dressing so he’ll have something to eat.”

Just imagine the wife’s embarrassment of forgetting to pack his usual extra ‘Depends’, and then needing it. Horror !

You jest, but that all-american-whitebread-food attitude has become a serious problem for my family relations.

Whenever they visit, my in-laws always bring a combination of “pizza and/or McDonald’s chicken nugget Happy Meal” and “Cheetos and/or Doritos” for their kids, and they turn up their nose if the dinner salad has anything other that iceberg lettuce (not that their kids would ever touch a leaf vegetable, mind you). And they hint at what they perceive as my lack of parenting skills every chance they get — like they’re just daring me to point out that they’re son is looking more like Jabba the Hut every day.

Perhaps Jacobson is just pissed that Obama made Harvard Law Review and he didn’t.

Chicken strips with ranch dressing?

That’s gold, Jerry! Gold!

What kind of goddam fucking asshole spends time writing about crap like this? A Harvard lawyer who’s supposed to be teaching practical trial skills. Christ, lawyers fucking blow.

I clicked over there from a link in the comments at Sadly, No! and thought that it was a mildly amusing satire. Sort of like John Swift, but not as well played.

But it isn’t?

I’m sad for the students of Cornell, mostly.

When my son was 4 years old, he once got very upset his mother making try some new food he didn’t like; the rule there was that he had to at least try everything. “When I grow up,” he told me, “the rule will be NO TRYING ANYTHING.”

Happily, he grew out of his Republican phase.

Last I heard–wait, let me check–despite its title Grey Poupon is an American product, well ahead of Maille and other French mustards in domestic sales. And I believe most other American mustard manufacturers have branched out into making their own Dijon-style mustards. Next these maroons will get on Obama for ordering a lager even if it’s Bud.

good old American mustard from a plastic yellow squeeze bottle

Jeebus, fucking Kraft makes a Dijon mustard, and even a Dijon honey-mustard, and both come in big plastic squeeze bottles at Piggly-Wigglys everywhere. It’s no more elitist French than mayonnaise.

two words for this unimaginative git:

Quail Wings

and did you bring enough Easy Mac to share with everyone ?

“What makes this worse is that Jacobson is Professor of Law at Cornell Law School and therefore, we assume, an adult or at least an adult-sized human.” Yeah? Well, I’d like to point out that Glenn Reynolds claims to be a law professor too–or maybe he plays one on TV; I can’t remember for sure–and Reynolds is in a neck-and-neck race with Dougie Feith for the Tommy Franks Award.

John ‘Torture Boy’ Yoo’s a law professor too. I guess there’s nothing special about law professors, except that they’re in a position to continue turning out lawyers who don’t understand the Constitution or the law.

BTW, forgot to mention that CNN breathless reported that Joe Biden got jalapeños on his burger. Just another reason to like that guy.

Actually, so-called “brown” or spicy mustard has been around for a couple centuries. I saw it all the time as a kid in the midwest back when the sole Chinese resturant in town was “exotic.” The “pardon me, do you have any gray Poupon” ads were designed to make a normal, commonplace, American product seem different and (once again) “exotic.”

What next, complaints that President Obama likes Thousand Island dressing??

I don’t mean to be dense but this has to be satire, right? Along the lines of Jesus’ General?

Some profs revel in their contrarian persona.

In a fruit punch of logic, they just float there, like a turd in a punchbowl. “Look at me!! I’m a conservative!!”

It’s not satire. Last month, this dick was blaming the UAW for Chrysler’s failure and also claiming that Bushco’s prep for swine flu was just peachy. He’s a goddam fucking asshole:

http://legalinsurrection.blogs…..chive.html

How long before this one joins forces with Althouse? Juice boxes, hell….
W(H)INE boxes, more like….with vid cams…..saints preserve us….

I can now guarandamntee you that my next visit to my wingnut parent’s home will reveal that the Dijon mustard, which has been purchased since I was a child, will no longer be allowed into their home.

Let’s see: economic meltdown, banks still quite stressed, wars in progress, deficits, global warming, etc, etc, etc, and the most important news to comment upon for a freakin’s law professor is so-called elitist mustard? Seriously, WTF is wrong with these people?

Satire like, say, the “Half Hour Comedy Hour.”

One problem (among the myriad) is that conservatives just don’t have a sense of humor. They can’t seem to understand why a song entitled “Magic Negro” is not funny yet can’t wrap their heads around why a teabagging movement is.

Explaining humor, of course, removes that which makes the joke funny in the first place. I don’t understand why Garret Morris singing I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see” is funny. But it is.

“Magic Negro,” no matter how many times you explain it, is not.

Actually he’s a clinical professor. Where I come from that’s kind of second-class faculty. I don’t think they get invited to all the parties.

I’m just imagining how this piece of work lectures: starts out with a lame one-liner that falls flat, followed by forty minutes of ranting about how all the students are Obamaniacs who don’t have a sense of humor, followed by fifteen minutes of reluctant lecturing on the law, punctuated by snarling asides.

How embarrassing for his wife when they attend faculty dinners and she has to bring along chicken strips and ranch dressing so he’ll have something to eat.

I was thinking more along the lines of a ziplock full of Cheerios.

I don’t recall a single hot dog stand, or pretzel purveyor for that matter, that doesn’t offer brown or spicy mustard. And that’s the tale of two cities, New York and Philly. I see he’s backtracking and saying it was satire. Uh, not buying it nitwit.

In the light of this “reporting” I think I’ll have to revise my prediction that an atheist will be the last of many members of minority groups to be elected president. After Obama, I thought we’d have a woman president first, and then a Hispanic, and then at some point a gay person, and then, last of all, an atheist. But clearly the last of all will be a vegan.

Oh, I am pretty damn sure that they’ll discover he likes (drum roll, please):

RUSSIAN DRESSING!!

The horror, the horror!

Oh, snap! That’s some serious lawyer-snarking, kama love!

All of the manly men at Casa Biscuitbarrel love Ray’s Hell Burgers. They’ve even brought me one back over the river, and Ray’s burgers are also good when they’re tepid and slightly squashed.

I hope the owners of In-n-Out Burger will be opening a franchise in DC soon.

Really. That’s their name [right, TBogg?]. And I LOVE their burgers!!!!

Ciocia @10,

there are Dollar Stores in Flyover? Do they have covered porches and cracker barrels and big potbellied stoves as well as green tea?

Just kidding.

During the New York part of my upbringing, the only mustard we ever had was a fairly spicy brownish stuff called Gulden’s. The bright yellow bland stuff was available, as I recall, but definitely as an also-ran. But then, of course, New York isn’t part of Real America.

Here in Germany, it is the communist East Germans (OK, ex-communist, but lots of them not so very ex- at that) who use bland boring mustard. It’s the capitalist West that revels in fiery mustards (and, in fat rich rightwing übercapitalist Bavaria, the coarse-grain sweet mustard served with Weisswurst). So as we can clearly see, it’s the no-hope teabagging dead-enders with their insistence on Lo-Taste mustard who are the true bolsheviks here.

Do these assholes just think everything is a Grey Poupon commercial?

Funniest thing: Grey Poupon is made in the US of A, Maille (for North America) in Canada. And French’s yellow stuff tastes of fuck-all.

forget the mustard, good cheeseburgers demand mayonnaise.

This investigation must continue to see what Obama puts on his hot dogs at the ballpark. That is the proper use for yellow mustard. If Obama orders sushi instead there will be a major scoop.

(I thought I was being a snob by buying Grey Poupon when the recipe called for “mustard”. I have yet to buy dried mustard or any particularly fancy olive oils.)

It is not even the faculty meetings. Probably all of Ithaca is artisanal food of some kind.

What Professor de la Boue apparently doesn’t realize, because maybe he doesn’t eat at McDonalds, is that their honey mustard dipping sauce is made with dijon mustard.

How awkward.

Well at least he didn’t order “French’s” mustard. Then we’d have to endure some republican trying to get a law passed calling it “Freedom” mustard.

That’s the name. As a recovering vegetarian, I’d love to see an In-and-Out Burger in D.C. The bun-to-bun competition would pit them against Five Guys and Z Burger.

That’s just the grown up version of “It’s not a contradiction, it’s a dilemma!” from the world of high school debate [don’t ask]

Geez, leave it to conservatives to get all worked up over this when the REAL scandal is that he ordered his burger medium WELL.

Yep, no delay.

Now I’m homesick AND hungry!