L. Ron went to hell wishing he’d been Joseph Smith. If only he’d included magic underwear with every e-meter reading…

The only reason people consider Mormonism goofier than any other religion is that it’s newer. Give them another 2000 years and everyone will have forgotten how the religion was based on fraud.

I’m surprised that not more Americans are more supportive of the Church of Latter Day Saints what with flattering teevee shows like “Big Love” getting monster ratings. My wives and I watch it all the time. (And btw, I’ll have you all know they all look like Barb and the young cute one, but not that evil Mormon bitch Nicolette).

Marie Osmond is a celebrity, sort of.

I just finished reading “Escape” by Carolyn Jessop; if you want the inside view of the Fundamentalist LDS from someone who lived it (polygamy) and miraculously managed to get out, check it out – a fairly gripping read. Her ex husband is the guy in charge of what remains of the FLDS now that the prior prophet is in jail for practicing his Big Love.

The mainstream LDS is most definitely not the FLDS, just as David Koresh and his bunch were not Saddleback Church, but you didn’t see the local law enforcement officials going out of their way to protect Koresh’s group the way the FLDS was protected for years in northern AZ. Many aspects of FLDS life are just more expansive interpretations of general Mormon teaching, so yes, Religion/Presidential Fail. I don’t mind watching Mitt piss away the family fortune in the process though.

Tbogg:
Mittens can’t worry about this poll right now. He’s busy flushing the Hispanic vote down the toilet:

“Former Massachusetts’ Governor Mitt Romney made the case on Thursday that the GOP should not rule out the use of a filibuster on the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..09075.html

Ya gotta love these guys: the Mittster, Rush, Newt, KKKarl. Watching them chase away all voters, other than angry white guys, is just fun.

Another excellent read on the FLDS, and the Mormon church in general, is Jon Kraukauer’s “Under the Banner of Heaven.” The Mormon church, not just the FLDS, have quite the bloody past.

“Among the traits widely ascribed to Mormons in the poll were “narrow-minded” and “controlling.” ” My first thought reading this was “Ya Think!?” Now that Huntsman is gone, the new governor here is being praised by all the wingnuts, which is a bad sign for sure. But the Mittster is still very popular here in Mo-Mo land; he just endorsed Bob Bennett, who is facing a stiff primary challenge from the Reich-wingers in the state primaries. Utah’s caucus system allows politics in the state to be dominated by the crazies in their tinfoil hats (one guy recently tried to get the state GOP to pass a resolution stating that Democrats were controlled by Satan. They actually debated it before voting no). So Mitt’s endorsement means a lot to Bennett, who has taken a hard turn to the right lately.

I have a little empathy (hehe) here with Moroni’s crew. One time when I was 18 I looked into my hat and it started talking to me in Danish. Then the last five pages of Confederacy of Dunces appeared, followed by a short video of an old Burma Shave ad. I thought about starting a religon, you know, cuz that’s a good way to get lots of chicks, but decided instead to just let the mushrooms wear off and go get a slushee. C’est la vie.

Ya gotta love these guys: the Mittster, Rush, Newt, KKKarl. Watching them chase away all voters, other than angry white guys, is just fun.

Kinda like they’re yelling at the voters to “get off our lawn!!!!”

There are plenty of Mormon celebrities, they just don’t go around making batshit videos about their religion (although you get the feeling that Orson Scott Card is one more state legalizing gay marriage away from showing up on YouTube).

Mormons have also worked very, very hard in a very, very low-key way at changing some of their more outré beliefs and practices of the past (excluding any dark-skinned converts, polygamy, beliefs that archaeology in the Americas would provide objective proof of the events in the Book of Mormon and that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri) and diverting attention from those of the present (magic underwear, extraordinary secretiveness of their rituals, veneration of Joseph Smith despite his repeated exposure as a charismatic con-man who cribbed most of the Book of Mormon from other sources).

The most frightening thing about them is that, if things really do go to hell in a handbasket, they’re the ones with the best chance of survival: they’ve been stockpiling food and making other preparations for the end times for quite a while now, and if you think they’ll let just anyone into their bomb shelters without a temple recommend, well, hey, guess what?

Would that be THE Bob “Crapshoot” Bennett pusuing political office? What happened to his brilliant career as a writer professional moral paragon?

The polygamy never bothered me; and the X-ians have been sanitizing Jesus so he’s whiter-than-white–as well as holier-than-thou, for at least a millenium, (so it’s not like they have much room to debate racism.)
I want to know why Mormons get extra “points” (–or underwear tassels, or frequent flyer miles to heaven–) for converting Jews and Native-Americans.

Oh yeah, I read that one too. The author of the book you mentioned wrote the blurb on the back of the book by Jessup that I mentioned.

I’m a western Colorado native so I’ve always had contact with those from behind the Zion curtain, but it wasn’t until I read Under the Banner of Heaven that I had much of an idea of what their religion was all about and its origins. Speaking anthropologically – fascinating. Speaking as a sane agnositic-leaning-to-atheist – WTF!?!?!?

The extra points for Jews has something to do with a mutual affinity for the old testiment as I recall; I’m stumped on the Native American one other than maybe they feel bad about blaming the Mountain Meadows Massacre on the local NA population when they are the ones who planned the ambush of that particular wagon train, killed everyone over the age of 5, and adopted the under 5’s as their own. They still don’t like talking about that one, or how polygamy was suddenly removed as a requirement when they knew the US militia was marching towards them to deal with that particular breach of US federal law.

I think in 2000 years we’ll all be saying “L RON HUBBARD” instead of “JESUS H CHRIST”

Although it’s no goofier than say the Catholics or the Jews or the Muslims so it’s got that going for it.

“The Shoe! The Shoe!”

– Monty Python’s
“Life of Brian”

“Also, gays don’t recruit door to door.”

Patently untrue. My neighbor claims he has a different gay man knocking on the back door every week.

(Zing, bitchez…)

don’t kid yourself, L Ron got his $1 bill in the mail from Heinlein, and that’s what Scientology was really all about.

The only reason people consider Mormonism goofier than any other religion is that it’s newer. Give them another 2000 years and everyone will have forgotten how the religion was based on fraud.

Do Tell. Which religions are not based on fraud? (Granted Mormonism does hold dear some special fraudulent profundity.)

Don’t the Mormons think that the Native Americans are the lost tribe of Israel? That would explain the “extra points”, wouldn’t it?

i luvs the doggy sack .. and the title ..

Ah yes, that’s it; you are exactly right – lost tribe it is. I’d forgotten that aspect of their origin myth.

I do recall that the Southern Baptists declared extra god-ifyin’ points for converting Jews a few years ago, but they never added Native Americans to their Score More Points for Jebus list.

Someone needs to come up with an updated version of that bag, since very few cars have running boards any more.

BTW, the illustration makes it clear that the dog’s head will be whacked by the door when you open it, and slammed in the door jamb when you close it. I’m not sure if that’s a bug or a feature.

Another really good book on the Mormons is “One Nation Under Gods”.

Someone needs to come up with an updated version of that bag, since very few cars have running boards any more.

C-Clamps not included, apparently.

And Joe Smith, mah Main Morman, well, what can you say about a guy who led his flock to Fucking Utah and decided it was the promised land? Yeah, right, Joe, [flapping lips with a forefinger while saying buh-buh-buh]. God whatta dope.

It wasn’t Joe Smith, whose soul, if any, was separated from his body back in Carthage, IL before a single Mormon made it to Utah.

It’s a Mormon joke that Brigham Young saw Utah he really said, “Piss on this place!”

Mormonism may have a better chance of surviving than other religions because it is a living growing religion – God speaks to the living prophets and that word becomes part of the religion. Thus God can communicate that blacks have paid long enough for carrying the ‘mark of Cain’ and are no longer an enemy.

Just think. God might say that Gays should be welcome because they make wonderful helpers with a good sense of taste and the more Mormons that are born Gay leaves more women for those whose role it is to be Patriarchs. Lesbianism of course would still not be welcomed.

Isn’t the whole point of the Book that Jesus came to preach to the lost tribe of Isrealites, AKA Native Americans (well, they were heathen Indians when Jos was selling his translation, but …), so the NAs are just Jews by another name?