fucking shitheel. moron, bastard (not to dis bastards, morons or shitheels, of course), entitled fucking twat! Obviously the little toe sucking midget dick has never been laid to his satisfaction or else he wouldn’t need to drool over and idolize the northern dimbulb. Wasn’t this already played out in an ever so much more genteel manner in a Somerset Maugham fiction anyway? Unimaginative asshole, cretin.

THANK YOU, sir!

(Oh, and Donna — don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel!)

Ouch! That left a mark. On behalf of all the DoucheHat haters of the world, thank you for this public service.

Donna -

What you said. Well said indeed and temperately phrased to boot.

You rock, homey G.

Signed,

Chunky Reese Witherspoon.

Since I’d never read Douthat before he came to the Times, I didn’t know what to expect when they gave him a column. After all, he was taking over for Bloody Billy Kristol, so the odds had to be very high that he would be an improvement.

Now that I’ve read a few columns of Douthat’s, I’m inclined to believe that rather than making a move up or down with Religious Ross, the Times executed more of a creepy little sideways shuffle that reeks of Conservative Affirmative Action that is a damnable waste of natural resources when produced in hard copy.

I’m not going to read many more Douthat columns since they are mostly drivelicious, self-indulgent twaddle in which Ross tries to show us that he’s a deep thinker by writing absurd and superficial nonsense.

If?? Oh really?

When I was much younger I wondered what it would be like if I made love to Marilyn Monroe.

This of course means that I know exactly how Doubthat feels.

Palin and Her Enemies

By ROSS DOUTHAT
Published: July 5, 2009

She should have said no.

Gee, Ross, I’m sure that had it been you who asked, she would have.

Tbogg, you are falling down on your duty to deliver shorter Douthat so I don’t have to read his shit. Please rectify. That said (I read shorted Douthat elsewhere), fuck him and fuck Palin. Assholes like them should just stick to jacking off each other and leave the rest of us alone.

Funny how these conservatives are suddenly realizing politics is a nasty business. I knew it was going to be good from the get go – the headline. Ohh..”Sarah and Her …’Enemies’”. I feel a batch of moose tears coming on.

What a bunch a damp, wheedling nonsense. We all know an education doesn’t guarantee intelligence – we just got done with Bush. Nut we also know aiming for the lowest common denominator is stupid. Well, most of us know.

And if you can’t mock a church of a woman where she was on stage when her preacher was claiming to cast out witches, then there are no churches to mock. More mockable were her ideas (so to speak), statements and general goofiness. The system worked.

You’ll endure gibes about your “slutty” looks and your “white trash concupiscence,” while a prominent female academic declares that your “greatest hypocrisy” is the “pretense” that you’re a woman.

If Dingbat is confusing Camille Paglia with a “prominent female academic,” he needs to do some intensive fact-checking.

There is no cure for him. He is scared to get laid. Chunky Reese’s give him severe shrinkage.

And, what is most important, Mr. Bogg, Happy Birthday!

She should have said no.

But, she couldn’t.

–Levi Johnson

If my teenaged daughter was pregnant, I would have said no to a national campaign.

Because, you know, I’m a good mom.

Sarah has “enemies”. Hilary has “critics”. Sarah is paranoid.

That was the most awesomeist Doughbot article evah! First it was all: Sarah Palin may not be very smart, and Obama really comes across well, then it went all, “but you don’t need to be smart to be good, baby” and then he like confused “class” with “beauty contestant winner” and then we all had pie.

I liked the pie. So did Chunky Reese Witherspoon.

Wow, I’ve got four Evony [busty role playing game chick] ads on this page. Google ads must make a strong connection between ‘Douthat’ and D&D game that you play in mom’s basement.

You can’t really do a Shorter Douthat. Its a tale full of sound & fury, signifying nothing, then the same conclusion as always : Women shouldn’t have sex.

If you want a sneak preview of next week’s column, here it is: Women shouldn’t have sex, because of a lot a unconnected semi facts that sounded truthy to Douthat.

Somebody say pie?

Palin pie?

–Levi Johnston, this time with a “T”

Sarah Palin is beloved by millions because her rise suggested, however temporarily, that the old American aphorism about how anyone can grow up to be president might actually be true.

America destroyed the dream by electing the mixed race son of two atheists–a Kenyan and an American. A man who admitted to using illegal drugs as a youth. A man named Barak Hussein Obama, seven years after a horrifying attack on New York masterminded by Muslim terrorists.

Yep. Busted the dream.

TBogg: Are you saying that a Douthaut is irrelevant, unrelated to any facts, untruthful in his facts and their relation to reality, dismally uncatholic in his thinking dismally Catholic in his thinking, and complete drivel? Well, I guess you have a point, there also.

“Pie” is a euphemism, taint’ it?

She shouldn’t’ve said no. She should’ve done anal.

Oh, we’re talking about Sarah Palin?