Queen Esther? Oy vey, someone tell Sarah that Purim was back in freakin’ APRIL!

Anniston: bleeech. I’d rather clean up dog poop.

Almost time to bow down before the Great White Throne, then. Also.

Damn! Someone left the lunatic asylum door unlocked again.

Queen Esther? I didn’t know she was the skank queen of the trashy side of Jerusalem. I seem to miss the part where Palin is “hot”. Compared to the mincy Mitch McConnell maybe. To me she is the sure antidote to a Cialis overdose.

Also. “For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her delicacies.” Rev. 18:3

I’m no Bible sleuth, but if we’re to take the Good Book at its word it sounds like the Prophet from Wasilla is something of a tarty slut. But, of course, we knew that already.

Tbogg, here’s the missing ‘n’ for your photo caption: ‘n’

Yes. Jennifer Aniston.

Dude, what?

Google. “Jennifer Aniston” then hit images.

Thank me later.

And god was like, “Sarah, sometimes, you know, you just have to, like, get in there and get out of politics so you can do some good from the outside. Also.”

And Sarah was like, “I don’t knooooow, god. Golly, but I like being treated like a high-class call girl, being all, you know, trotted out for the masses like a point guard runnin’ the lane. I like to get all mavericky up in that government so I can tell the government that government is not good for the people! Also.”

And god was all, “Sarah, you have like a, you know, a higher calling! Yea, you will have million dollar book contracts and book tours and hosting gigs on FOX news. You can still get all mavericky in the red states, on the side, like, you know, but, the governorship is too small for you, Sarah. You coulda been a contendah! You could be a STAR!”

And Sarah was all, “Golly gee, god, and then, like, I’ll click my heels three times and say there’s no place like that filthy center of librul depravity known as New York City which has that awful lech, David Letterman, you know he thinks it’s funny to, you know, get all molestering like on kids. Gosh, it’ll be so hard to get away from all the ethics complaints and the latte-drinkin’ librul basement-dwelling, pajama-wearing bloggers who hate a good ol’ Alaskan girl like me.

I’ll do it for my children when I am not talking about how much I love my children and how much I hate the elitist librul media for attacking Bristol for being an abstinence advocate and for having a baby before the cart, and for Willow who, you forbid, never runs into David Letterman in a dark alley after the curtains are drawn in his house, and for Trig who is so special that he needs a special just so I can talk about, you know, how special he is. Also.”

And the baby jeebus wept.

I’m no Bible sleuth, but if we’re to take the Good Book at its word it sounds like the Prophet from Wasilla is something of a tarty slut.

When it comes to media coverage, you betcha!

Well, I was going to go after the Poincare conjecture instead of the Riemann hypothesis, but it’s already been solved.

You should watch Leprechaun. The star of that movie is Jennifer Aniston’s ass.

Damn, after 26 years of marriage I’ve gotten accustomed to my husband’s laundry being a permanent fixture on the kitchen table. I’ll have to think of something else. Like clean out the pantry and fridge. On 2nd thought, I’d rather do Jennifer.

What’s in the blue bag hanging from the cross? Designer wear from Macy’s?

Prejean? I didn’t know that fake boobies were mentioned in the Book of Revelations.

Actually, “awesome mess” sounds about right.

Mix watertiger with TBogg, explosive; and toss in a dash of twolf.

Is it just me or are conservative Christians getting loonier by the minute?

Dear Sarah,

We’ll agree to be Left Behind
if you’ll agree to leave.

doesn’t she have some sort of witch doctor who can turn all the Palin-haters (lookin’ atchoo Mr. Styx-Bogg) into frogs or something? I seem to remember Reverend Joseph Lumumba or some such twatwaffle healing Sarah of her demons and stuff, so you figger he could toss some eye of newt or anus of bat at the haters and make them all go away!

I recommend reading Revelation to view these seal, trumpet, and bowl judgments

If you listen to Chet Baker instead of Miles Davis after Seal, while smoking a bowl, I will not judge you.

I’ll even hold the door.

RU you sure she didn’t just watch “The Silence”?

Naw, guess not.

You’ve got it nailed.

I think that Sarah needs to change her name to Mary.

Also

I have to admit that if someone were hurling bat anuses at me, it would make me go away.

Um, isn’t Mauimom not, you know, a dude? Not that that determines whether Jennifer Aniston is hot or not, personally she does nothing for me and while I’m female I’m also bi as all getout, but guys, let us not assume everyone shares your tastes in women.

Wiki:

Esther appears in the Bible as a woman of deep faith, courage and patriotism, ultimately willing to risk her life for her adoptive father, Mordecai, and the Jewish people. Scripture portrays her as a woman raised up as an instrument in the hand of God to avert the destruction of the Jewish people, and to afford them protection and forward their wealth and peace in their captivity.

Sarah Palin thinks rather highly of herself.

“What’s in the blue bag hanging from the cross?”

Alaska’s state flag.

Remind me of the chapter and verse where Esther abdicated to work outside the system? Because I seem to recall the story going quite differently.

I would think that Ms Palin would be more partial to the story of Judith, what with the field dressing of moose and fish guts and all.

Loonier, definitely.

Little girls often dress up as Queen Esther for Purim, but it’s chutzpahdik for Jewish women to compare themselves to her. The fact that SP is not Jewish and apparently not grown-up is, like other facts, ignored.

Palin went to the same book with “If I die, I die,” a paraphrase of Esther 4:16:

Yeah. Queen Esther. The hooker-with-the-heart-of-gold-for-the-Chosen-People, peddling her ass to the King for a rest-of-her-lifetime of caviar on toast-points–plus all that other God ‘n’ Cuntry stuff.

You could put somebody’s eye out with images like that!