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Oh, Sarah Palin! Who can resist your Sirens call that puts spring in a man’s step, starbursts in his living room, and a bulge in his underoos?
But then bad things happen and the pressure becomes too much and the next thing you know The Bro Code, where dudes are best buds for-fucking-ever (Woo! high five! I love you man… [awkward silence] … Woo! Beer! Fuck yeah!), and the part where no bitch will ever come between them no matter how big her tits are, yeah, that part: well, it gets shitcanned like a used condom.
And then they turn on each other.
“Aw, ace, maybe you need to develop a thicker skin,” a commenter fired back. “Buck up, there ya go, put on the big girl pants.” Soon after, even lower blows are dealt. “I do not think you are a RINO or a lefty stooge or traitor or any of that other stuff,” reads comment #288. “But, I do think you are too enamored of the Belt Way mode of thinking.”
Palin/Palin 2012: Because she is too much woman for only one slot on the ticket…
Also. Blowjob.
Because that’s the FDL way.
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Oh Brother Where Art Thou was twelve layers of awesome.
Also. Blowjob Blowjob Blowjob Blowjob Blowjob Blowjob Blowjob
Euphemisms for blowjobs? I suppose we could call them “hummers” without worrying about GM threatening litigation now that they’ve sold that division….
I like the new stupid way to spell Versailles, with two words: Belt Way
What’s next for the unfortunate Acester? Death by Teabagging?
The horror, the horror…
I liked the Ace thingy, but you should read his little love-note to Instapundit, wherein he claims, with what one would have to assume is a straight face, that Reynolds fesses up to mistakes – and corrects them! I keep re-reading it, thinking that I’m somehow just missing the part where Friedersdorf lets us know he’s taking the piss, but…I ain’t seeing it.
What the fucking fuck is wrong with these fucking idiots? They don’t even like women – so why canonize Mrs Governor Sarah Pee? She doesn’t like other women, but she doesn’t give a shit about anyone, really. Plus she doesn’t even have a penis.
Fucking Levi is making more sense than these fucking jerkoffs right now, but then again, maybe he thinks he has a shot at banging her. He’s correct on this – she’s lazier than anyone I can think of at that level in the republiKKKan fold. Christ, whatta buncha douche bag scum sucking knuckle dragging unevolved emotional retards.
“”Woo! Beer! Fuck yeah!”"
Howz about some fucking attribution, Tbogg?!
–Levi
ps: Bitchin’ post JDM3
“Ulysses Everett McGill: Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.
Delmar O’Donnell: Ok, Everett.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a train! Truth means nothing to a woman, Delmar. Triumph of the subjective. You ever been with a woman?
Delmar O’Donnell: Well, I… I… I gotta get the family farm back before I can start thinking about that.
Ulysses Everett McGill: That’s right, if then. Believe me Delmar, woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.”
Bro Code, indeed.
Levi is a fucking political pundit now?
I don’t care what side he’s on, he’s still just another ignorant Alaskan hick trying to get into the limelight of grander American politics, because that be where all the bitches are. He’ll be the Combes to the Hannity on a new Fox talking head show, Sarah Palin’s Outlook On Greater Energy.
Yeah…. God knows, he’ll NEVER have the class of someone like Rush Limbaugh!
Awesome, totally. Johovah! Johovah! Johovah! Johovah! Johovah! Crucifixion is a doddle!
The fuck you talking about, Binkyboy?!
Sarah got to be governor and Old Fuckface’s running mate, Bristol gets a gig from Candies pimping celebacy (HA!), some dipshit called Doughbob Loadpants gets a weekly gig showing what a dumbfuck he is in the L.A. Times. Every slapdick in the lower 48 has heard all the details about the First Dude and his badass snow machines, and all the kids, Willow, Trigg, Hitch, Nunchuck, Gripp, Wank…
I’m taking my 15 minutes, asshole!
Consider it the fuckin’ y’all get for the fuckin’ I got.
Holy shit, that’s funny.
Hey, maybe this is why the “elite” do better in politics. Most “Real Americans” have too many people around them who are willing to air all their dirty laundry on national teevee at the drop of a hat.
That comment thread/slap fight at Ace’s house is like listening to an argument on a 5th grade playground. And of course, this comment says it all:
Why for wingers, no matter the subject, does it always come back to putting things in their ass? Scratch that, don’t wanna know.
Doesn’t quite have the ring of “Old Hickory”…but I like it. HEEENGH.
“Why…does it always come back to putting things in their ass?”
Hey, to each his own! Personally, I’d prefer a blowjob.
There! I said it! Blowjob!
And every night in the pale moonlight, across the lake he’d wade…
Thanks for the songbomb, Tbogg.
Also, in the next post, Conor Fuckhisface calls George Will an “intellectually honest commentator.”
Fail.
Blowjob.
You ask this, and then you answer it in your very next sentence:
Republicans like tokens who hate their own groupS. It’s pretty much that simple.
amaravilha, I was watching the All-Star Game last night, and there was fucking George Will in Bud Selig’s private booth. Totally harshed my mood. Fucker.
BLOWJOB BLOWJOB BLOWFUCKINGJOB!
George Will was blowing Bud Selig? In a booth?
Guess that’s not entirely unexpected. RU sure, though, that he wasn’t just brooksing Bud’s package?
Just as fundamentalist/Catholic demi-vierges can give any number of B*L*O*W*J*O*B*S without having to give up the Silver Ring Thing, so too can Our Lady of Wasilla scribble any number of OpEds for WaPo without becoming part of either the Beltway or the MSM. Gloria in excelsis Caribou Barbie!
P.S. Plz to enable blink tag, those asterisks were supposed to sparkle like stars in Bible Spice’s eyes. It’s all for a good cause, I swear.
Nope. George Will was bow-jobbing Selig. Ok, that was funnier in my head. Brooksing Bud’s package. I love how quickly a name can become a verb.
Halloween Jack, I second the motion. I wanna see stars!
Poor Acey. His little friends were mean to him and called him nasty names like “elite”, just because he refused to worship St. Sarah.
That had it all, including the Goodbye Cruel World drama queen exit — that he obviously can’t abide by, because, after all, how can you Go Galt if no one cares that you’re gone?
Constant friendly fire. Cheeto Orange Napalm. Carpal Tunnel Sydrome.
Thank doG these brave soldiers choose to stay in the Homeland. Indeed, War (of Ideas) is Hell.
What would America do without these brave patriots?
Jerry Springer is a virus, not a feature. Alan Bennett looked at this in The Clothes They Stood Up In. Great fun.