TBogg, once again your readers thank you for reading the sick musings of these creeps so we don’t have to.

How come nobody posted nude pictures of W’s mother on the web? Wait. . oh, my God. . . my brain, my BRAIN. . . . AAAAAAaaaaarrrggghhhh.

I’ve always wondered what the inner monologue of the wingnut sounded like. Turns out, pretty much exactly as I imagined.

And Johny babe, please don’t use the verb “learned” in any sentence where you are the subject. It doesn’t make a lick of fucking sense to the rest of us.

If he did not know about these uncertain photos that have been floating around the interestingnet since 2008, my question is “How did he find out today?”. My conjecture as to his Google image search:

nude pictures sarah palin hillary clinton rush limbaugh Obama’s mother

How did I not learn until today that there have been nude photos of Obama’s mom out there since October 2008?

Because you were too busy jerking off at the nude photos of your mom?

Because you were too busy jerking off at the nude photos of your mom dad?

Fixed this for you. It just seemed more appropriate, since most of these guys are closet cases anyway.

How did I not learn until today that there have been nude photos of Obama’s mom out there since October 2008?

Because you were too busy playing, and losing, another game of Jerky Cookie with Goldberg, Lowry, and the gang?

Much better! Hawkins has bragged that when jerking off to Michael Flatley dance videos he can switch hands and gain a stroke.

I didn’t know either, because what the fuck

Dear John Hawkins,

Do you have any nude pictures of your mom?

No?

Wanna buy some? Cheap and confidential, guaranteed.

OT-

According to the authoritative World Nut Daily (link to relevant wingnut site here), attorney-dentist-realtor Orly Taitz sez she has the genyooine Kenyan birth certificate of Barack HUSSEIN Obama. No! This isn’t like those other times! This time it’s weally, weally twue! There’s a somewhat poor photo of the document and everythang at that fine, fine WND site.

As was said elsewhere on the Tubes, here’s where we might see just how completely committed Lou Dobbs and CNN are to this nonsense.

So… after Gates Gate, what happens now? Barack has to invite John Hawkins over to the White House for a threesome? I mean, clearly the man has the upper hand (whereas his lower hand is doing something we can’t write about on a family blog) and cannot be ignored…

Or, wait, maybe we can simply NOT GIVE A FLYING F! and pass John the big bottle of lotion. Yeah, that works better.

Falafel Don Douglas didn’t know till Pam Geller told him yesterday. He immediately dropped the Palin pix he was lubin’ up for (She may become single, don’cha know) and started spreading the newds…

The hypocrisy of spreading rumors about Obama’s family in the very same post where you decry folks spreading rumors about Palin’s family is par for the course for these assholes… But “family values” conservatives posting and passing around links to (vintage) softcore porn pictures like old guys at a stag party? WhoDaThunkIt?

This just in, John Hawkin’s mother drank during her pregnancy.

Excuse me, these can’t possibly be the same people who were so very offended at the incivility of comedians making jokes at Sarah Palin’s expense. Can they?

Nothing says “Successful Lawyer” like “Dentist/Realtor”

You guys are sickos – but the saving grace is that you know and acknowledge it.. Bravo.

Hawkins, et al, creepos with no self awareness. Republicans.

My hats off to all the commenters before me. I simply cannot top you (but I would love to try!). Dang. This is some sheer genuine Grade A snark right here.

Snicker.

She’s a strange one, to be sure. In those cases where Wikipedia is not up to the job (I didn’t actually check), Encyclopedia Dramatica often comes through, and they do so in the case of Orly Taitz. I also wasted almost half hour listening to a shouty telephone interview with her that was recently broadcast on KGO (mp3 here for any masochists out there). The host tried to get some honest answers from her, but it pure propaganda and working-the-ref stuff, all delivered rudely at high volume.

The truly dangerous badasses, those corporate astroturfers working to kill health reform, must love folks like Taitz for the distractions they provide, not to mention major media types (e.g., Lou Dobbs) who provide a major platform for these characters. That’s something I always keep in mind, wasted time listening to vacuous mp3’s notwithstanding.

This just in, John Hawkin’s mother drank during her pregnancy.

Not as much as she has since seeing what she produced…

So, if it’s true, we have to impeach on the grounds his mom was a slut? Is that in the Constitution?

Hey, if chipmunks start doing themselves in every time my monkey gets the spank maybe my fucking garden would actually produce vegetables for people.

HeyDave, you need a nice kitty who is a mouser/chipmunker. All the mountain gardeners I know have at least one (mouser AND spanker).

How come nobody posted nude pictures of W’s mother on the web?

::Cries::

Stay classy, birthers.

Shorter GOP mindset:

She slept with a black man, she must be a whore.

-G

Hey, I read all the comments to the bottom and nobody posted the URL for the nude photos of Obama’s mom.

What gives?