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Unskilled and unemployable housewife Sarah Palin seems to be spending all of her time in her room these days Facebooking and Twattering and IMing and texting and stuff so she really does not have time for you and your stupid petition:
Organizers of an Anchorage event that has been billing Sarah Palin for weeks as a star speaker were left scrambling Wednesday after learning that the former governor won’t be there for tonight’s event and claims to have never been asked.
[...]
This time it’s an event promoting an Alaska ballot measure aimed at making it illegal for teens to get an abortion without telling their parents. The Alaska Family Council has been advertising that Palin would give a speech and become the first official signer of the ballot petition tonight at ChangePoint, the Anchorage megachurch.
It’s not that Sarah wouldn’t like to go share moose Hot Pockets and Mr. Pibb with the ChangePointers but she’s taken a look at the proposed legislation and she does not want. Because if teens have to tell their parents that they’re pregnant (again) and they need the keys to the Astrovan to go get an abortion (again) Sarah runs the risk of never getting a moments rest, what with Pumice and Chisel and little Rowboat always knocking on the door of her home Governors office Oprah Watching Room when she’s busy on the internet.
"Mom–?"
"Try again.."
"Mo– [sigh] Okay. ‘Northern Mama Bear Princess Hotter-Than-I Will-Ever-Be’, my period is la—"
"Pumice, or Rowboat, whichever one you are…can this wait until you daddy gets back from sno-karting? I’m kinda busy right now and —OMFG! Lindsay Lohan is SUCH a skank! Look at this! Awesome! I have to text Meg. LOL!"
"[sigh]"
"Chisel? Hon? Be a dear and go get mommy another Harvey Wallbanger. Daddy left a pitcher in the fridge."
"I hate you and wish I had never been born."
"Yeah, well get in line sister. Now chop-chop, I’m not getting any younger and that Wallbanger isn’t going to waltz in here by itself."
So, as you can see, the whole parental notification thing would be kind of inconvenient…
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Finally! Tbogg succumbs to the dreaded LOL.
Word on the Intertoobz is that possibly $P is recovering from nip/tucks. Experts also disagree on how many recent events she actually has blown off to date. Given that $P was supposed to sign the Rapists’ Rights Bill along with “famous conservative Star Parker,” perhaps $P bailed when she learned that the other SP is, um, the same color as the young woman who beat her out as Miss Alaska.
Here’s the invitation that $P claims she never heard about:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_y1ob…..rights.jpg
From the Alaska Family Council’s site:
Oh, dear. They’ve failed Mean Girls 101.
I almost forgot about Our Lady of Wondrous Alsoness and her brood, Trig, Calc, Algre, Arith, and Geo.
Do you mean Trig, Muzzle, Stock, Butt, Sight Double-Aught and Cha-Chunk?
Anybody know how this woman is being supported?
Typing on Facebook doesn’t pay. Who or what is bankrolling her life?
Breaking news. Palin Skips Another Speech, Denies Accepting Invitation
She’s consistent.
Given the apparently shaky state of Ms. Moose’s emotions these days, I think the ChangePointers lucked out.
The only reason that Palin has children is because she can’t count to twenty-eight.
Doh.
She’s hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Christ. Not only can this woman not speak well, but evidently she can’t even fucking HEAR either.
I would just love to transport to the alternative universe where McCain/Palin won in 2008 and see how fucked up this country would be at this point.
Return ticket of course.
Trig, PhysEd, Econ, Psych and Band
Yes they talked at her.
Just like I talk at my parent’s dogs when I have ice cream. Just because my lips are moving and words are coming out does not mean they are being comprehended.
BASSETS! BASSETS! BASSETS!
(shouted in the same tone as USA! USA! USA!)
If they’re this late, they’re bound to be good, right?
Trich, Strepto, Botu, Meningo
Hepa, Titus, A, B, and Todd Jr.
Here’s a list (with links) in which “Thar she blowed!” was the blow-off cry of the GOP’s Great White Hope, as Rep. Lynn Jenkins (R-Kansas) inexplicably failed to call $P:
http://nailinpalinnow.blogspot…..ow-it.html
Dunno, although given her ability to charm neocons, I have little doubt that some drooling gazillionaire might have cut her a check just for being herself.
For a dog owner, that post was kinda catty, you know?