The banality of evil.

Good thing hamsterectomies are covered, huh Glenn?

Let me see if I have the basic gist of what Beck is trying to say:

Because he got horrible treatment under a private insurance plan, he wants to keep it?

Was he born an idiot, or did he have to work really hard at maturing into one?

Actually, the gerbil got stuck while trying to make an escape after eating Beck’s brain, which was the size of a hamster food pellet, and had roughly the same stale odor.

Do we really have to choose?

I suppose not. Either way, he remains an idiot.

As for your title, TBogg: it seems probable that the gerbil died, since nothing could survive Glenn Beck’s ass. The good news is that the gerbil’s furry little soul was immediately taken up to paradise–it had already done its time in hell.

I don’t believe there was a gerbil up there. His head must fill the space completely.

Ok, rational people know that Glenn is both stupid and crazy, but what’s Mrs. Beck’s story?

Glenn: “Honey, I’m going on the Today Show to talk about my butt surgery, and I want you sitting right beside me.

The Mrs.: “Oh Glennie, sounds like fun! I can’t wait!

Does Beck make that much money?

The wife is an employee. She punches in when he needs the beard, punches out the second she’s done and jumps in an autoclave.

armageddon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK9ydu3qUGk

To call Glenn Beck a horse’s ass is an insult to both horses and asses…

I like to think that the gerbil is OK. Since Beck is a total ass, I’m sure the gerbil was evicted from a fully stocked room with a view.

From about 1:15
“I was full fleged suicidal. If they would have come into the room with a handgun I would have honestly taken the handgun at that point and ended it.”

Damn shame someone didn’t excercise their 2nd Amendment rights then. Would have saved us a lot of trouble.

Jeebus. He obviously didn’t get his ass kissed enough.

::

just goes to show .. you can remove the hemorrhoid from an asshole ..but you can’t remove the asshole from the hemorrhoid …

Rumor has it that the hemorrhoid breathed a sigh of relief.

1) What a drama queen.
2) This jackass has a wife?!??!
3) WTF is an “end of life patch”? Sounds like something the death panels would hand out….
4) One lesson from personal experience- call 911. You get much better attention if you are brought in by paramedics than if you are a “walk-in.” Also, even in excellent hospitals the emergency room can be extraordinarily busy, so when your in pain or frightened the business-as-usual demeanor of the staff can seem indifferent or uncaring. Perhaps Glenn should investigate why emergency rooms are so busy, and what type of systemic reforms might alleviate that situation.

I wouldn’t recommend that, simply because I have the feeling whatever Beck’s solution to emergency room overcrowding would be similar to the General’s plan in the South Park movie:

General: Now each battalion has a specific code-name and mission. Battalion 5, raise your hands!
General: You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call “Operation Human Shield”.
Chef: Hey, wait a minute…
General: Now keep in mind, ‘Operation Human Shield’ will suffer heavy losses. But don’t lose your spirit men! Stay until the bitter end. Battalion 14?
General: Right, you are ‘Operation Get Behind The Darkies’. You will follow Battalion 5 here and try not to get killed for God’s Sake. Are there any questions men?

3) generally, Fentanyl a narcotic pain reliever The hospice nurse gave my mom a “lifetime” supply. It’s a godsend for those in horrible, horrible pain.

He could have covered his body with patches if he couldn’t find a gun. What a missed opportunity.

We will not know the fate of the gerbil for at least 6 weeks, as it went into full containment quarantine immediately upon extraction owing to the hazmat 4 contamination to which it was exposed.

All this “person” does is lie. He makes millions doing it.

Why believe anything he’s saying about this? Probably just some PR stunt.

Kinda funny that a guy who makes his nut claiming that stuff like torture is no big deal is on the verge of suicide because of a butt surgery. He’s such a drama queen that you know he’s blown it all out of proportion – it’s the kind of thing you or I would think back on and say, damn, that hurt, glad that’s over or that medicine reaction was bad – but for pussy boy there it was a life and death situation.

What a weiner.

All I know is that I have never managed to create the specific set of bizarre and idiotic circumstances under which I would end up with a gerbil in my ass. I suspect it is impossible unless one is either an utter moron or kinky as only a Republican can be.

Does anyone else notice that his wife’s head seems to be on backwards?

Yes, I did. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

I’ve been wondering for some time who or what exactly would marry Glenn Beck. Now I know. He married a poorly designed robot.

Didja see her flinch when he cupped her face in his clammy paws? Sheesh. I thought that she about to puke.

Wow. Glenn Beck and his automaton who is sickened by him. They deserve one another.

You know, I could perform Beck’s ass surgery for a MUCH CHEAPER price. All I need is a pointy stick and acid with which to cauterize said stick, and, to be honest, to dissolve my eyeballs after witnessing the horror that is Beck’s pale, flabby ass.

Good lord, he’s not the first person in the world to have complications from surgery. I’m guessing the eye rolls he got from the doctors and nurses was because he was such a big baby and drama queen. They deal with people who are really sick all of the time, and babies who overreact are wasting their time. They probably had someone who was near death in the next room, and Glenn was wasting their time with his overreaction to minor surgery.

His wife? Obviously she’s in it for Glenn’s money. As soon as he gets fired from his job, she’s gone.

Just to clarify. the guy having an emotional freakout isn’t going to get the same level of attention in the emergency room as the guy in the next room who has a GSW and is bleeding out. The attending doctors see both all of the time and know the difference. Glenn needs to man up.

Glenn is the kind of patient who has decided that his level of personal importance far, far outweighs the actual level of sickness/emergency of the other people also in need of care at the time he’s whining to get his. He’d prefer a medical system where the person waving the most $ gets the quickest care, kind of like the triage that takes place at a strip joint where the girls decide the biggest spender gets the most lap dances. Isn’t that really the way that the profession of medicine should operate? It isn’t all that different from Beck’s corporate suck-up model; whoever pays him the most gets the biggest wet & sloppies from him on the air.

Interesting that GMA would find Beck’s anus worthy of seven minutes of coverage. I know these morning shows are a combination of “news” and “entertainment.” Which one of these is Beck’s asshole?

I assume there was also a head extraction involved. That part apparently failed.