Between running big companies and buying power suits with compensating shoulder pads you could land a 737 on, there are just not enough hours in the day for America’s rich executive-ladies. Whether it’s selling ink cartridges or beanie babies in bulk, it’s a fast-paced go go  go life. So you will have to excuse Mitt Romney’s lady friend Meg Whitman and John McCain’s lady friend Carlyfornia Fiorina if they were unaware of women’s suffrage or simply avoided it because it sounds kind of painful.

Meg:

Almost 9 million Californians cast ballots in the 2003 special election that swept movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger into the Governor’s Office.

Meg Whitman wasn’t among them.

[...]

"Every citizen should take time to vote, and on more than one occasion, I didn’t," the former eBay chief told the GOP activists. "Voting is a precious gift handed down by generations of Americans. I regret not having delivered my vote on several occasions."

In fact, however, a Bee review found Whitman regularly skipped elections in California and several other states where she lived and worked.

The review covered six states and a dozen counties, including towns and counties in Massachusetts, New York, Ohio, New Jersey, Rhode Island and California where public records indicated that Whitman lived, worked or attended college.

Carlyfornia:

Republican Carly Fiorina, the former Hewlett-Packard CEO, took her first formal step Tuesday to challenge incumbent Democratic U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer – but does she pass the Citizenship 1o1 test?

Critics suggest maybe not, considering that Fiorina, 54, who has a spotty voting California voting record, never cast a ballot in two other states where she lived previously, according to public records.

Officials in Morris County, N.J., said records show she registered to vote there in 1997 but did not vote in a single election and was dropped from the voter rolls in 2005 as inactive. [...] 

In June, The Chronicle reported that Fiorina had voted in just five of 18 national, state and local elections in which she was eligible to cast a ballot since she registered in Santa Clara County in 2000, according to public records. At the time, Fiorina’s chief of staff, Deborah Bowker, said, "It’s never good not to vote."

There are probably some perfectly good reasons why Meg (who really should be running for office in New England so she could call herself Megachusetts, which would be totally awesome) and Carlyfornia didn’t vote. For example:

  • Voting is not exclusive enough and poor people would be present.
  • No Executive Voting Booths with marble floors and mahogany walls and a Mexican lady to hand me a towel.
  • Was unable to register because ACORN was unfairly barred from my gated community.
  • Ha ha. I vote with my checkbook, if you know what I mean.
  • Okay, I did something. Where’s my check?
  • Inability to fire snotty poll worker and ruin their volunteer poll worker career.
  • I was busy laying off 17,000 people that day. That’s exhausting.
  • You know. Poor people. Again. Ick-o.

It might make more sense for Meg and Carlyfornia to pool the personal money that they are planning to dump into their respective campaigns and just go buy their own state. I hear Mississippi is available. It’s a fixer-upper that just needs a little paint, some nice landscaping, and a little loving care. Oh. And you’ll have to have it tented. It’s infested with poor people.

Ick-o.