Comments on: Fill My Cup, Lord http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/ \"...a somewhat popular blogger\" Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:53:43 -0600 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrel http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43784 MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrel Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:50:18 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43784 That's a terrific story, and every word rings true. Too bad you couldn't stuff the baseball-sized lumps of caramel down the Coast Guard. That’s a terrific story, and every word rings true.

Too bad you couldn’t stuff the baseball-sized lumps of caramel down the Coast Guard.

]]> By: Ruthie http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43759 Ruthie Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:29:42 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43759 When I was in college I had two goals: The first was to write The Great American Novel; the second was to blow my first $5,000 in royalties on breast enhancement surgery. Then I met my friend, W., who barely topped 5'5" tall and whose endowments were about the size of those mini-watermelons so popular with the yuppies who shop at the "Whole Paycheck. When she first told me that she was sick of men practically drooling on her breasts when she was introduced to them, I thought that this was some sort of perverse southern female bragging ritual. After all, she was stunning and blonde; I was almost six feet tall, and when I slouched I was practically concave in the front. At the time, I couldn't imagine being offended at having a guy drool over any part of my anatomy. We overlooked each others' respective mental deficiencies and became friends. Then I realized that when we were in public, she always carried an armful of science books crushed to her chest or wore a jacket in 95+ degree heat because she hated the fact that her breasts were so large. I didin't appreciate the level of humiliation involved with large breast size until the day we decided to feed the alligators down by the docks. Alligators would circle around the base of the pilings with their mouths open when they saw humans because they knew they were about to get a handout. We had bought a 10-pound bag of caramels from the PX, and sat by the docks unwrapping them and molding them into baseball sized lumps, which we tossed into their waiting maws. Now alligators' jaws clamp shut with a lot of force; but the muscles that open their mouths are real weak by comparison. So when they clamp down on a lump of caramels, that's good for about 5 minutes of cheap laughs at the alligator's expense. We were down to the bottom of the bag when we heard a man's voice on a bullhorn: LADIES, FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO CLEAR THE DOCK SO WE CAN BRING THIS SHIP IN SO THE CREW CAN DEBARK AND ENJOY THEIR SHORE LEAVE. In the hour or so we had been goofing off, a Coast Guard cutter had pulled to within a hundred yards of the dock, and it looked like every crewmember on deck had a pair of binocculars aimed in our direction. And then it hit me: <em>For our own safety?</em> Thank heavens a Captain in the U.S. Coast Guard was able to save the crew from the overwhelming influence of the mighty mammaries! We left the dock in disgust for a nearby gay bar, which was notable for its fern bar decor, decent food, and the fact that any male soldier who reportedly entered therein would be subject to a dishonorable discharge in JAG court. I think that's when I decided that breast augmentation would be a waste of $5,000. When I was in college I had two goals: The first was to write The Great American Novel; the second was to blow my first $5,000 in royalties on breast enhancement surgery. Then I met my friend, W., who barely topped 5’5″ tall and whose endowments were about the size of those mini-watermelons so popular with the yuppies who shop at the “Whole Paycheck. When she first told me that she was sick of men practically drooling on her breasts when she was introduced to them, I thought that this was some sort of perverse southern female bragging ritual. After all, she was stunning and blonde; I was almost six feet tall, and when I slouched I was practically concave in the front. At the time, I couldn’t imagine being offended at having a guy drool over any part of my anatomy. We overlooked each others’ respective mental deficiencies and became friends. Then I realized that when we were in public, she always carried an armful of science books crushed to her chest or wore a jacket in 95+ degree heat because she hated the fact that her breasts were so large.

I didin’t appreciate the level of humiliation involved with large breast size until the day we decided to feed the alligators down by the docks. Alligators would circle around the base of the pilings with their mouths open when they saw humans because they knew they were about to get a handout. We had bought a 10-pound bag of caramels from the PX, and sat by the docks unwrapping them and molding them into baseball sized lumps, which we tossed into their waiting maws. Now alligators’ jaws clamp shut with a lot of force; but the muscles that open their mouths are real weak by comparison. So when they clamp down on a lump of caramels, that’s good for about 5 minutes of cheap laughs at the alligator’s expense.

We were down to the bottom of the bag when we heard a man’s voice on a bullhorn: LADIES, FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, I’M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO CLEAR THE DOCK SO WE CAN BRING THIS SHIP IN SO THE CREW CAN DEBARK AND ENJOY THEIR SHORE LEAVE. In the hour or so we had been goofing off, a Coast Guard cutter had pulled to within a hundred yards of the dock, and it looked like every crewmember on deck had a pair of binocculars aimed in our direction. And then it hit me: For our own safety? Thank heavens a Captain in the U.S. Coast Guard was able to save the crew from the overwhelming influence of the mighty mammaries!

We left the dock in disgust for a nearby gay bar, which was notable for its fern bar decor, decent food, and the fact that any male soldier who reportedly entered therein would be subject to a dishonorable discharge in JAG court.

I think that’s when I decided that breast augmentation would be a waste of $5,000.

]]> By: MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrel http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43735 MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrel Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:52:52 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43735 Well, I have an extremely competent--and even adorable, I have to say--internist who used to make the bright suggestion that I cure my intermittent anemia by... undergoing a hysterectomy. I asked him if he would consider parting with his balls, even for a second, even for a good reason. And this is a REALLY GOOD doctor! Lord save us from the others. Well, I have an extremely competent–and even adorable, I have to say–internist who used to make the bright suggestion that I cure my intermittent anemia by… undergoing a hysterectomy.

I asked him if he would consider parting with his balls, even for a second, even for a good reason.

And this is a REALLY GOOD doctor! Lord save us from the others.

]]> By: anonymap http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43725 anonymap Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:29:34 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43725 A young christian girl wanted to enter a beauty contest, but her tits were too small. So she prayed to god to make them bigger. A plastic surgeon offered surgery, but she said she was waiting for god. Then another plastic surgeon offered to enlarge her tits, but she said she was waiting for god. Then a beauty contest organization offered to bigify her tits, but she said she was waiting for god. After she died from lack of big boobies, she asked god why he didn't embiggen her boobs. He said, "Hey, idiot, I sent two plastic surgeons and a beauty contest organizer!" So, obviously, Ms Prejean was listening during that particular sermon. A young christian girl wanted to enter a beauty contest, but her tits were too small. So she prayed to god to make them bigger. A plastic surgeon offered surgery, but she said she was waiting for god. Then another plastic surgeon offered to enlarge her tits, but she said she was waiting for god. Then a beauty contest organization offered to bigify her tits, but she said she was waiting for god. After she died from lack of big boobies, she asked god why he didn’t embiggen her boobs.

He said, “Hey, idiot, I sent two plastic surgeons and a beauty contest organizer!”

So, obviously, Ms Prejean was listening during that particular sermon.

]]> By: cbl2 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43716 cbl2 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:42:56 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43716 and make me 'ho and make me ‘ho

]]> By: DennisSGMM http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43715 DennisSGMM Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:18:45 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43715 Another up-and-coming grifter. She's already wrapped herself in religion and learned to parrot RW talking points. All she needs now are the glasses. Another up-and-coming grifter. She’s already wrapped herself in religion and learned to parrot RW talking points. All she needs now are the glasses.

]]> By: milhous911 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43714 milhous911 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:10:18 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43714 wait a minute ... 'Fill My Cup, Lord?' you are an evil, evil man wait a minute …

‘Fill My Cup, Lord?’

you are an evil, evil man

]]> By: moistenedbink http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43711 moistenedbink Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:17:43 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43711 Well, damn...sell photos of her enhanced boobies (nekked of course) to her right wing believers for $50 a pop and she'd pay that bill off with money to burn in no time! Well, damn…sell photos of her enhanced boobies (nekked of course) to her right wing believers for $50 a pop and she’d pay that bill off with money to burn in no time!

]]> By: puravida http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43710 puravida Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:34:28 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43710 OT: Let's all "Get Motivated!" http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/10/bush-headlining-motivational-mega-show-with-inspirational-firepower.php?ref=fpblg Stay classy, George! OT:

Let’s all “Get Motivated!”

http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/10/bush-headlining-motivational-mega-show-with-inspirational-firepower.php?ref=fpblg

Stay classy, George!

]]> By: MrWonderful http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/10/19/fill-my-cup-lord/#comment-43709 MrWonderful Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:29:54 +0000 http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/?p=13761#comment-43709 "Two words: Repo Man!" ...for the win. “Two words: Repo Man!”

…for the win.

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