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Fearing that Pat Forde has become too intimately involved with the Big Tebowski, ESPN lets Ivan Maisel make the plea for a Heisman for little Timmy:
Why Tebow should win: If you like your history served sunny side up, there could be no worthier player to join Archie Griffin as a two-time Heisman winner. Tebow has represented the best that college football can offer for four years. Florida stayed at No. 1 until nearly the end of this season and goes into the Sugar Bowl at No. 5 in large part via Tebow’s will and positive thinking.
Tim Tebow is to sportswriters what a Ricky Schroeder poster was to the guys in NAMBLA.
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Brett Favre just breathed a sigh of relief. At least he still has exclusive rights to “gritty” and “just loves to play the game”. Personally, I’m looking forward to Tebow’s NFL “career”, which, like nearly every Florida QB before him, will be both short and undistinguished.
Ah, yes…the “intangibles”. Nice substitute for “Well, he played like utter crap this season but we really can’t say *that* because it would sound harsh. So we’ll talk about his leadership and the fact the team is 12-1 (without mentioning Florida’s gorging on ‘cupcake’ teams).”
WTF is up with putting NT citations in the black shit under his eyes? I think that pissed off Jeebus. QB looked like a crack whore gone round the bend. Didn’t play that well, either. The apotheosis of home schooling and kkkhristianist privilege: pick ur high skool based on ur best athletic opportunity. Fuck him. Maybe his next stop will be Buffalo, where Terrell Owens will whine that he’s a fairy who won’t throw to him. That would be a satisfying
gateway to a lunatic missionary career.
(1) if you’re going to put bible references on your glare patches, why not use the good ones? (Proverbs 23:27 — “For a whore is a deep ditch, and a strange woman is a narrow pit.”) Trigger!
(2) Maybe when he is visited, as are all football players in their middle age, by the Operations of Job [Frank Job, MD] he will take up sports punditry and tell us whom God likes in the TCU/Notre Dame game.
Will and positive thinking?!
Fuck, Maisel. You just gave the terrrrrists our secrets to VICTORY!1!! in Afghanistan!
Fucking trator. Also.
Wolverines!!! Too.
I always liked “[f]or the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.”
Proverbs 1:32.
The Devil is said to be left-handed.
Tim Tebow is left-handed.
The bible does not look favorably on the left hand. In fact, the sheep sit to jebuz’ right and the goats to his left. Sheep go to heaven. Goats go to hell.
That settles all this Tebow nonsense.
He will fail in the NFL because he thinks the God is on his side, and of course he is wrong. God is not trying to block Rae Lewis or Patrick Willis, and wouldn’t care to anyway.
I found out why God hates Tebow so much. He took a vote.
Why would god (aka Drew Brees) give a shit about the Tebowne?
The deity dies not take sides–he said so himself.
The goats take Mickey Kaus with them I assume. Good. Two irritants taken care of in one swell foop.
He’s done for then, also. Wonder if he saw that coming…..
WWJCWABH?
(Who Would Jesus Cripple With A Blindside Hit?)
Let’s be fair…..he gave everyone a reason.
It wasn’t a solo column praising him.
Who is this “he” you mention?
Seems that would be Timmy Teblow.
I can not believe jebuz shunned Timmy….
Tebow finishes in the Top 5!
Well, last, but still, ALL PRAISE TT, or go to hell!
Tebow finished LAST!
Snerk.
Geebuz swept…..
Buh Bye Timmy!
does anybody get a shot at it ???
I know I could make tebow cry …
ya might as well cancel christmas now, dude
and this don’t affect Festivus, does it ???
cuz I already got the pole installed ….
Ivan Maisel.
Seems Jeebus used his ballot to elect the hard-charging brother from Alabama.
I, for one, am crying all over my bible-quote eye-black.
you can’t spell ‘tbogg’ without ‘tbo’. just sayin’
Fifth? Tim Tebow only placed fifth?? And he was beaten for the Heisman that was rightfully his, dammit, by a Pigmented-American? Clearly there are Forces At Work Here to cancel Xmas, too.
Crying like a little girl probably cost him votes.
timmy, the christian crybaby.
who would jesus weep for?