And like the guy caught fucking a dog in the town square who calls the people staring at him in horror “voyeurs”, Hoft does not care for all of this Media Matters attention

That was sublime. Although, the way the health care stuff is going I think maybe we all better get used to some fisting. Can we at least get one of those peckerheads in our lobbyslature to tack on an amendment mandating that if we have to buy their crappy insurance, then they at least have to cover the ky?

Even if you don’t capitalize properly, you must append “-jelly” or people will think you mean Kentucky. Also. I’m not from Kentucky.

Hoft’s poutraged headlines stand out on memeorandum like an unlanced boil. A total fugging jerk.

No surprise he’s at “Fist” Things.

Is it just me, or does “Fistgate V” seem like it should be a direct-to-video blockbuster, and by “buster”, I mean “that, and my clever not paying taxes thing almost pays rent” and by “block”, I mean, well, you know.

I think I should have involved an innocent question mark somewhere in there. Mistakes have been made, but we should move on and look forward.

ANCIENT CHRISTIAN DOCTRINE right there at the top of Jimbo’s website

Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Thou shalt not bear false witness.

I also don’t think all that fisting is a great idea with so many uncovered people in a country without universal health care. Especially for Jimbo. He might catch something during his patented ass to mouth finish.

But I don’t judge.

Why not lie and make shit up when the truth doesn’t fit your preconcieved notions?

Funny exchange from Jimbos comments:
Commenter Tammy:

what the hell is a dental dam?
This story is getting more disturbing by the minute. Yuck.

Jims response:

Tammy- I have no idea what a dental dam is…
And I have no interest in finding out.

Whatever.

Keep in mind that Hoft now blogs at First Things…

I believe there’s a typo there. I think it should read,Keep in mind that Hoft now blogs at Fist Things… I am I right?

So, can we assume, then, that fisting is one way “to advance a religiously informed public philosophy for the ordering of society”? Or is Jim Fist just taking his editorial freedoms and running with them until some higher power realizes how bizarre this all looks?

Also. The honorable (well, not) senator from Tennessee, Bill Fist, apparently wants to show what happens to your, ahem, appendage if you overdo that whole fisting thing. And he should know… (and, yes, by golly, that’s Bill’s fisting partner, Rick Santorum, with a “da-ym, that’s nasty but tasty” look of lust in his beady little eyes).

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”
“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master – that’s all.”
Through the Looking Glass.

The heroic work of the right to drain the meaning from the big, important words (conservation, fairness, morality, law, etc.) is paying big dividends for them now. Look at the success of Sarah Palin’s Word Salad technique: a right wing code word or two surrounded by a dense thicket of random verbiage, and the crowds go wild. They’ve managed to reduce their followers to the state of a dog who neither knows nor needs to know what its master is saying – it understands the tone of voice and that’s enough.

…”a small but noticeable bulge”…

When Jimmy Hoft reads this post, small is what will send him over the edge.

I especially appreciated his reference to Breitbart’s “strong armed fisting.” I think Andy gives him wood (rather more of a mote than a beam, I suspect).

INKIYAR: It’s Not Kinky If You’re A Republican–you were led astray by them lubrul hoe-moes!

i love the comments over there! here’s my favorite:

“Does this ultimately mean we no longer can discern anything for ourselves but must be taught whatever some minority deems necessary?

If that isn’t Communism, I fail to see what is.”

Big Word Mean What I Mean It To Mean!

Don’t know about you, but I can go days and weeks without thinking about gay sex.

But guys like this can’t seem to get it off their minds.

There’s are words for people obsessed with thoughts of gay sex.

Something about closets.

Takes one to know one “Mr. Fister”, er, I mean Mr. Hoft. I’ll bet he’s got a standing order for Flagyl at his local CVS – in my opinion.

What’s all this I hear about fishing? It seems like teaching 14 year old kids how to go fishing is a good idea…

/emily litella

Does this mean we can start referring to Hoft as the town dogfucker?