Maybe Michael J. Fox will visit him in the hospital.

Or Donovan McNabb.

Or Teddy Kennedy’s ghost.

I hope he does pull through, and that a black lesbian Muslim doctor saves him.

At least he can afford the best medical care above and beyond what is provided by his solid gold health insurance. And a private room, too.

Somewhere, Paul Wellstone has sympathy.

I’d be seriously shocked if he isn’t self-insured. He’s rolling in dough, and with his ample body, that’s a lot of money!

It’s the same hospital where Obama was born.

What was Rush doing in Kenya?

Doesn’t that fat fucker realize that there’s no socialized health insurance in Hawaii? And that soliciting boys for sex is illegal there?

To quote Homer: “I can’t believe there’s a worse place than America.”

Barry and Michelle ought to send him flowers.

Michael J. Fox: “He’s faking!”

From the annals of … Too bad it’s just satire, isn’t it?

Limbaugh found dead, thousands commit suicide

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

As initial reports of Limbaugh’s demise hit the airways, thousands of his devoted listeners began to take their own lives in various gruesome ways, many leaving behind suicide notes indicating that they simply couldn’t go on without their daily 3 hours of right wing propaganda five times a week.

“I haven’t seen anything like this since those Jim Jones cultists drank the Kool-Aid,” said HPD Captain Leon Jones.

Given how expensive health care is…

“Limbaugh Urges Rebellion Against President Obama Two Days Before Christmas.”

What I’ve learned about this, my objective is to spend everything I’ve got before I pass away. And my last check will be written to the IRS, and it will bounce. I have no desire whatsoever to give the government, states…

…withholding tax revenue from federal and state governments as a way of shutting them down and causing chaos in their lives

In his own words!

Die, motherfucker die! is about as charitable as I can be. (I didn’t know Rush had a heart to have an attack.)

Retweeting @ThatGirlCA “Rush: may your hospital nurses be unattractive, syringe-wielding feminists.”

May they. And may the head nurse be BUTCHESSA.

Did he wait the full four hours before seeking medical attention?

Cue the wingnuts with “proof” that Obama’s ACORN ninjas attempted to kill the fat fuck using a poison known only to Kenyan witch doctors.
The good news is that should Limbaugh pass away they can just let all of the bullshit out of him and mail him home in a matchbox.

it’s an island paradise, not a Superfund site

A great ending to a shitty decade.

Rush has so many pre-existing conditions under that private insurance system he supports, he’ll probably have to pay for his hospital stay and his treatments; then go back on the street to get his Viagra and Oxy supply.

Rush is going Galt?

I wonder if the most recent Mrs. Limbaugh-to-be has any hooks into his estate.

Since it’s the holidays and I’m in a good mood, I extend a wish that some thoughtful person sends Rush a big, juicy T-bone and a nice fat after dinner cigar to speed his recovery.

Where’s the death certificate?!

More Questions than answers:

What was a real American doing in the exotic land of Hawaii? Andrea Mitchell thinks it’s ‘different’ therefore it must be; Ann Rand never went to Hawaii.

Was he secretly meeting with the Obama’s?

That appears to be the only possibility- therefore they must have arranged to have him killed.

Hawaii is a notorious socialist medicine locale; therefore the local doctors will refuse to accept Rush’s cash and force him to accept a socialized medicine ‘death panel.’

If he was there to meet the Socialist Obama, Prince of Peace, and everything else- then Rush deserves it.

So say the devoted Beckians.

You are the nicest possible TBogg there possibly could be.

It’s pretty obviously a once in a blue moon kind of thing.

The kicker is that not only was Obama in Hawaii recently, so was Nancy Pelosi. Cue the paranoids…

Maybe that pesky pilonidal cyst migrated to his brain. That would be a very short migration.

Maybe he wants to take advantage of the “no estate tax in 2010″ loophole?

I don’t want him to die. I want him horribly incapacitated so that he lives for a very long time alone as a horribly suffering invalid. I am not feeling nice about this at all.

I pray he doesn’t go quickly.

I hope it’s a long, painful journey into the abyss for that obnoxious shitbag.

Is he still required to submit to random drug testing per his plea bargain with Florida prosecuters?

Awesome.

My Christmas wish — I want Rush to have the epiphany of a lifetime, then pass it on to the other dittoheads.

Ramen. :o)

On edit: Sometimes I’m just too fuckin’ nice for my own good.

My heart is too full of residual Festivus cheer to wish ill of anyone, but for a Wingnut what could speak more plainly of Endtimes than Rush Limbaugh in a hospital in Hawai’i and Karl Rove divorced in Texas?

Link says he was taken to hospital in “serious condition”, which suggests this was more than just heartburn brought on by prolonged priapism.

Limbaugh, fat rich fuck that he is, revels in smoking big ass cigars and eating too much red meat – given his weight, age and (presumably) sedentary nature, it’s easy to conclude that an infarc was kinda inevitable. He escaped any self reflection after his oxy pill popping by following the GW Bush “dry drunk” model of addiction recovery, but this is a different matter altogether.

So really, from my perspective, it’s a win-win: he’ll have his quintuple bypass and either admit he’s a fat fuck and all the fat fuck things he revels in will kill you eventually, or he dies in short order. Were I charitable, I’d of course root for the former… but I’m not charitable.

Thanks, Santa!

My Christmas wish — I want Rush to have the epiphany of a lifetime, then pass it on to the other dittoheads.

If by “epiphany” you mean “utterly grotesque STD that causes your penis to wither like a newborn’s umbilical stump, thereby preventing procreation,” yeah, I’m down with that.

Fatfuck is beyond redemption. He makes pre-epiphany Scrooge look like Hawkeye Pierce in the sappiest of MASH episodes.

I love you all, but Sagra (32) for the win.

Happy New Year, you bastards.

There are a lot of rumors fly’n around out there…..I’ve heard there were crack pipes laying around and that a 10 year old boy made the 911 call…anyone know for sure.?

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Doc, even Lee Atwater had a change of heart in his last days. If he can do it, so can the V.P.B. Limbaugh.

A few of his acolytes bemoaned the fact he wasn’t taken to Tripler instead of Queens. Said he wouldn’t need a food-taster at Tripler because they’d lurv him more there.
Guess they forgot the pre-existing cyst condition, eh?

I heard the fat fuck was wearing 2 wetsuits and the 10 year old boy wasn’t white….

Well, whaddya know, Bush was right. Everybody’s got health care-just go to the emergency room and they’ll fix you right up.

My New Year’s wish for Rush: that he gets everything he so richly deserves.

The folks who would make that claim are obviously lacking in knowledge of Oahu and the locations of the Kahala Hotel, Queen’s Hospital and Tripler.

And since Tripler is limited to active military, retirees, and dependents, I must have missed it when Rush got inducted.

It’s a douchepocalypse.

-G

You know, if your change of heart happens too damned late to fix some of the horrible ways you fucked up, I don’t think we have to respect it at all. If Atwater managed not to die the same evil bastard he lived as, it doesn’t actually make much of a difference to the rest of the world.

Same goes for Limbaugh, who even with a total change of heart is unlikely to get enough time in afterward to make up for the shit he’s done.

Just for starters, I know a woman with chronic pain whose ability to get the prescription meds she needs has been actually impacted by Rush’s fucking habit and his doctor shopping. Her doctor, the only one in the area who can care for any number of people like her, can’t risk losing his license if some jackass decides he’s a little too free with the restricted drugs, so he’s throttled everyone back a bit.

I don’t know what he’d have to do as penance for the extra pain this woman lives in every second of her life, but I doubt he’d be capable of it anyway, and it won’t help her a bit, not least because he’s also been doing his damnedest to make sure people like her can’t have medical insurance to begin with.

Fuck Rush. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s faking it for the medically-approved high anyway. Mean? You betcha. When you go out of your way to make your life better by making others’ lives even more miserable than they had to be, you do not deserve nice.

I know, “Liberals are so meeeeeean!” Quote mine away, weasels. But hopefully someday you’ll get to know on a firsthand basis why what Rush has done with his rotten existence hurts other people.

(ETA: None of this is actually directed at quaker, who from past comments I can safely say is a much nicer person than I am. I’ve just always been suspicious of the story of Atwater’s de-scrooging, which, even if it is true, probably only matters between him and his god.)

Some people say this never would have happened if he had gone to his usual vacation spot in the Dominican Republic.

The price of rent boys in Oahu would give anyone a heart attack.

Not to mention $arah Palin and props, who fled Hawai’i when she claimed they were forced out by “desperate paparazzi.” The real reason? Either second- to third-degree sunburns, TMZ’s photos of $P’s cellulite and grim makeup-and-flattering-lighting-less visage, or the simple fact that the trip was planned for only three days in the first place…

My unanswered questions include: Did Rush have a visor with Obama’s name scribbled out in Sharpie, and the photographer is blackmailing Rush not to release the picture? Or did he have a companion, who in the immortal words of Warren Zevon, is “gone with the Hula Hula Boys, s/he don’t care about me?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4xAmiR0k80

Zactly.

Also.
Too, you betcha.

(feeling of small mind today, I just had to point out the mindless idolatry)

Doctors are doing tests on him today. I’m betting his putrid colon backed up.

my objective is to spend everything I’ve got before I pass away

My objective is for Rush to think he’s going, spend everything he’s got, and then recover with nothing except long-term disabilities and chronic pain … and find out — up close and personal — why his fight against decent healthcare for everyone is so disgusting.

I understand, d. My hopes aren’t so much for Mr. Limbaugh himself. More of a hope for confirmation of my own world view. If guys like Atwater and Limbaugh can mend their ways, there’s hope for all.

My Christmas wish — I want Rush to have the epiphany of a lifetime, then pass it on to the other dittoheads.

He’s already had many opportunities for epiphany: multiple divorces, drug addiction, nearly going deaf due to the aforementioned, etc. At what point does a person develop a little empathy? I believe his famous mocking of Michael J. Fox came after all of the above.

His world view (and his career) will not permit the introduction of such humanity.

Is he dead yet?

Limbaugh will, at least, have to spend some time recuperating. His legions of followers can alleviate any withdrawal symptoms by just farting in each others’faces.

I don’t hate Rush Limbaugh, except in the sense of acknowledging that he has been a harmful and extraordinarily hurtful influence on a planet I happen to care deeply about.

Oddly enough, that pretty much is my definition of hate, now I come to think about it. But I’m a simple person.

Let’s see if he triumphs in his long, long battle against health fascists.