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It was very nice of Fred Hiatt to turn over valuable (okay, it’s the Washington Post editorial pages, so maybe not so valuable) real estate to Patrick Ruffini and Mindy Finn to explain how the Internets are going to totally rule elections from now on:
The Internet isn’t a line item in a campaign budget anymore. It’s not just something you have to pay for, underneath catering and radio ads. It has reorganized the way Americans do everything — including elect their leaders. Candidates who would have had no chance before the Internet can now overcome huge odds, with the people they energize serving as the backbone of their campaign.
We don’t have it all figured out. Like the technology companies whose products we rely on, the only way forward is to innovate constantly. Campaigns must continually update their playbooks
Which is to say that campaigns need to “define a strategic direction” and “architect a breakthrough online presence with a purpose” which will allow them to “build meaningful online communities” and “leverage the momentum of an innovative new media strategy to generate financial resources for your campaign or organization”. There will also be envelope pushing outside of the box which will create a new media paradigm wherein internet consultants will leverage their core competencies as well as their skill sets in return for fat consulting checks from campaigns who are unfamiliar with Twitterbooks and YouTubing iPhone 3G FaceTwat apps and other stuff that all the kids are doing these days. Also, “architect” will henceforth be a verb, so get used to it, Luddite dinosaur.
….and, oh by the way, did we mention that Mindy & Patrick in the internet strategery bidness?
And how can they miss rustling up some new clients since they have Gary Coby on board who helped create the Five Brothers Blog which we all remember was super awesome and helped propel Mitt Romney into the White House as our first black Mormon president.
Gary is also a bit of a bad-ass.
Democrats are doomed. He will totally architect their demise.
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Wait–is that photo what you mean by “FaceTwat”?
Gary, in addition to working for the Mittster, has also worked for Bobby Jindal and Michael Steele, so you know he only helps winners win. And Forrest Gump is his favorite movie. Also.
Yep. The WaPo editorial page has become the Special Olympics of commentary. With apologies to Special Olympians, who actually work hard for their medals.
Oh. And, Who Dat?! Go Saints! Also.
Too.
I would say, with that face mullet, that Gary is more of a bad taint than a bad ass
Nice landing strip. He’s wondering whether to swallow.
Actually, corporations are going to rule our elections for now on.
As for the worthless (but unfortunately still very influential) Washington Post editorial page, see the footnote to the link just given.
Also here. Or here.
What the hell is that?
And what’s that on its face?
And from the engagedc website:
And shades of 5 brothers…and not fighting in godforsaken hell-holes in the Middle East.
It was ever thus.
These people are way ahead of their time. Conservatively speaking, of course.
O/T Joe Bageant has a must read up
Crafting mission statements from random word generators on the Intertubes is definitely the way to go.
Oh, fuck Woolly Willy and his grand plan to sweep the nets with synergystic wankery so he can finally bed down
TripTrigSarahBristol Palin. How’s Fenway?Listen, ‘Bogg – I know you’re still grieving and everything. I understand, I really do, your family has suffered a big loss, your lives have been changed forever.
But that’s still no excuse for sloppy Photoshopping. I mean, it’s like you didn’t even try. What’d you do, just slap a Saudi beard on this little geek?
“envelope pushing outside of the box which will create a new media paradigm” mmmm, I love the smell of bullshit in the boardroom. It’s hard to say who is suckier — consultants like Gary, who push that line as if it meant something profound, or clients like Michael Steele who buy it hook, line & sinker, because they’re aware that the intertubes thing is teh hot, but they’re not sure how to do it since they don’t really get it. — So, it’s kind of like dating for Republicans, and Gary is the john with the ho, so to speak.
Did Gary author that line, I wonder? He likes “different styles of hiphop and rock,” he tells us. Has he ever composered any music himself? His favorite movie is Forrest Gump–if I remember correctly, Robert Zemeckis directored that, and Tom Hanks actored in it.
Did he merkin his own beard, or did somebody stylist it for him?
MeGawd, it’s ITSpeak from 15 years ago.
That reminds me – where does Obama Girl stand on health care reform?
The Rethugs appear to be down with exploiting child labor to run their websites, because Gary looks like he’s the most obnoxious freshman geek in Prince George County High School. Or, perhaps in anticipation of the USSC ruling w/r/t political “speech,” the corporations already hired all the best H1B visa holders with Ph.D.s in engineering.
Oh, RWsnarkle, I think the kid did it himself. With a big old indelible Magic Marker, for there are some things, even when you’re enveloping the intratubes, that can’t be done digitally.
It would explain his facial expression; you know how those indelible ones smell.
Li’l Innocent
purty mouth, tho
Mindy is not just “a campaign strategist” but “a veteran eCampaign Strategist.”
And the eStrategery of the Romney campaign was truly a thing of beauty.
It’s more important for Murika for him to be all badass and in up in those liebrul faces and support The Most Awesomest Cause EVAH!® online in his mom’s basement.
Just looking at his badass, tough-guy hippity-hoppity photo from his high school yearbook, I can smell his douchebagginess from here.
Well that’s close to an ass
Didn’t I see that guy on Hot Chicks with Douchebags? He’s making the doucheface and has the facial fung.
Jesus Christ on the Cross..
I mean I’m old now, one of your original so-called high-tech programmers and have heard so much crappola and meaningless jargon over the years…that this almost takes the cake for “assholes you pray you never have to work with”. Good God.
That’s funny! I mean, of course, the portrait that I was so damn sure HAD to have been photoshopped is what he really uses? And one of his colleagues at that illustrious brain bag of an enterprise really doesn’t mind his photo makes him look like Max Headroom?
These people are out there!
I’m not a violent man, but that there is a face that’s meant to be shoved into a toilet.
I thought that I’d been transported back to one of those interminable meetings at EarthLink when it was a hot company.
engage .. eh ?? that’s the dorkie-est bunch of twats i’ve seen in one covey in quite a while …
i wonder .. what’s the synergy of their para-digm …. [splorf]
Oh no! Not again! Gary’s teachers try so hard to keep the magic markers locked out of reach, but he’s learned to undo the child safety latches.
I think that’s actually the gas face.
I tried inverting the photo in case he was doing some kind of Bob Denver “Ho Daddy” thing with the chin rug. Disconcertingly, it would appear that he actually means for us to view the setup rightside up!