What a “wit”…what a right wing “wit.”

“Are you really doing this?”

I think that is what the chunky Witherspoon asked herself once she snapped to and realized it was the chunky Douchehat’s ear she was chewing on. Not what this dickwad said as he meandered out in front of oncoming traffic.

You just cannot let right wingers near the punch bowl.

DC cops are major-league assholes and the Fed dude no doubt pulled a dick move and is trying to cover his ass.

But it’s pretty pathetic to try and rescusitate Daily Pukefunnel as an important work of journalism all about sticking it to the man.

I gave it three months after it started. I’m thinking I’m going to be right.

Many years ago, I was blissfully crossing a street in Philadelphia (where I then lived,) in the crosswalk, with the light and with plenty of time left to cross, when I noticed that a taxicab had made a left turn from the cross street and was barreling down upon me. TBogg, your instincts are correct: not only did I not ask the taxicab or its moronic driver anything like “Are you really doing this,” (it turned out the driver was having an argument with his girlfriend who was along for the ride that day, so he “didn’t see me”) but according to witnesses, my only comment was something like, “ACKK!!” as I broke my hand desperately, and futilely, whacking the cab trying to stop it from hitting me. So, with all due sympathies to the victim of this accident, whatever his name may be, there is something rotten in the state of Denmark, i.e., I smell the stink of opportunism.

I’m also wondering if he writes under a pseudonym out of shame from taking checks from Tucker Carlson.

I don’t blame him.

“Aw, come on Treacher/Medlock. Think of all the publicity it will generate! Go on. Take one for the team.”

…crush James O’Keefe with an oak tree…ACORN, of course, will be blamed.

I see what you did there.

Next time Tucker sends his staff into traffic to hustle spare change , he needs to remind them to wait until the cars STOP before they run out to clean their windshields.

This is but the next step in Obama’s plan to assassinate American citizens who diss him. While he’s recovering, Treacher/Matlock should watch Enemy of the State over and over until the miasma of paranoia permeates his soul.

What’s so funny? It’s not uncommon for people facing imminent danger to ask “Are you really doing this?” Historically: Nathan Hale, James Garfield, and the city of Hiroshima asked this question just seconds before tragedy struck. More recently: Saddam Hussein, Conan O’Brien, and most of the U.S. in November, 2000.

Wait… stop… are you really doing this?

And, thus, a meme is born. “are you really doing this?” is gold, pure gold. The wingnut equivalent of “don’t taze me, bro.” i’m surprised medlock didn’t take the opportunity in the cross-walk to make an eloquent statement about health care reform… which makes me wonder: what kind of health care DOES tucker’s little shop of horrors provide its employees?

And the District’s pedestrians thought they were safe with the passing of Bob Novack, who prowled the streets for targets in his Corvettepenisextension.

Too.

What thingwarbler said. Unless someone here thinks Greater Wingnuttia will no longer provide mankind with actions and utterances for which “Are you really doing this?” will be the appropriate snarkoid response. Anyone? Okay, then.

Thank you X-Files for giving me the setup to a brilliant headline (although I guess younger folks have learned it from House).

I now eagerly await “Crutchfeld-Yakov-Smirnoff”.

T

The secret tapes from the Daily Caller War Room:

Tucker: Christ, these stories suck. Has anybody got anything good?

Silence in room.

Treacher/Medlock, in full body cast, mumbles something through his bandages.

Tucker: What did Harry the Hood Ornament say?

Intern #3: He said he could jump in front of Biden’s Amtrak train today if you like.

Tucker: Now, that is the type of dedication I want to see around here. Intern #3, wheel his bed down to Union Station.

I’m rather angry at the driver in this case, if for no other reason than you just have to know with an absolute certainty that Treacher will try to take the gummint for every red cent that his lawyer can squeeze out of them so that he can spend his days blogging about, I dunno, tort reform.

And judging from that picture on the Dailycaller page, the feds drive Escalades now. No wonder the debt is so big.

I waited for the crosswalk light to tell me to go before I crossed. I had plenty of time left…. I was more than halfway there when a black SUV made an illegal left turn….

Here in NYC, I believe the technical term for this is “Yeah? So?”

It’s crossing the street in an East Coast city, fer crissake. As we like to say in Gotham, watch yourself. Don’t expect drivers to play nice. In fact, expect the opposite.

At least we now know what a deer says when he’s caught in the bright glare of a speeding cars headlights.

What I can’t get is, if he had time to say “are you really doing this?”, why didn’t he use those two seconds to JUMP OUT OF THE WAY.

We can only hope that Obama hears opportunity knocking. If he’d just issue an executive order making it against the law to jump in front of moving vehicles many of America’s problems would be solved within days. As a bonus, America’s IQ would go up by at least ten points.

Hey, I’m up here in the sticks of VT where we check for hunters, then cross the road as we damn well please — so, tell me, do the crosswalk lights in DC really tell you shit? I mean, “I waited for the crosswalk light to tell me to go before I crossed.” Suuure you did; such a good little choir boy you are. I bet you also put the seat back down after you’ve peed, swallow when Tucker tells you to, and never, ever go above the speed limit.

I waited for the crosswalk light to tell me to go before I crossed.

Obama programed that signal just to make him walk out in front of that SUV.

Only a winger would invoke the Nuremberg Defense for getting run over.
“Befehl ist Befehl,” bitches.

ACORN, of course, will be blamed.

That joke totally died without the rimshot. Somebody check to see if the drummer passed out again.

“Medlock with a jaywalking citation as he lay prostrate in a hospital bed,”

Jesus, they even took him to one of those hospitals that makes you lie face down. WTF?

“Medlock with a jaywalking citation as he lay Tucker tickles his prostrateprostate in a hospital bed,”

Fixed.

I believe it was the C-Street “Family” house, so that may explain it.

The SUV was black.

So even if Obama can honestly deny responsibility, he’ll have to explain why it happened and beg forgivness.

And Sarah Palin’s probably got an op-ed in the hopper at the Washington Post comparing ObamaCare to running over baby Trigg with a semi. And baby Jesus and Tim Tebow, too. Aslo.

He waited for the crosswalk light to tell him it was OK to go? Maybe that’s his problem, he talks to crosswalk lights

In one of his strikingly short conversations with the Daily Caller, agent Mike McGuinn acknowledged that Medlock was not jaywalking at all, but walking “outside the crosswalk when the incident occurred.”

Wait a minute. Doesn’t “walking outside the crosswalk” constitute jaywalking?

well, if this doesn’t drive traffic to the Daily Caller, nothing will. BTW, Daily Caller? This is a blog site, right? Wouldn’t Daily Poster be more apropos?

Huh? Yeah:conclusion – Caller employee uses defense of “ignorance of the law>” “As God is my witness, I thought the crosswalk showed where NOT to cross!”

and here I thought it was going to be a case of evolution in action

In fairness to the victim, it is true that jerks often fail to yield to pedestrians. I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt.

First: it is reasonable to believe that he could not simultaneously yell stupidly and run/jump to safety. Have you ever seen wingnut attempts to simultaneously comprehend source material and criticize it?

Second, and perhaps more generously: if you were an assistant hack to one of the most hacktastic creatures ever to contaminate the national discourse, you might consider jumping in front of an SUV yourself.